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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

No Matter What, Be Proud.

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rabina

Guest
Something that isn't said to those who hear voices and that is:

Be proud of yourselves; you have every reason to be.

You fight hard and long and usually alone.

Everyday is a battle so it seems, but you made it through and you
should hold your head high for all you accomplished and will accomplish no matter how small you think these accomplishments may be.
They are not small accomplishments; they are of great importance to yourself and others.

I look at those who don't hear voices and think; how I wish I were you and even become angry or envious because they don't suffer the same as I do.

But then, no man can suffer as another does and could that man handle the pain?

You know what my point is and that is we all have our crosses to bear.

Don't underestimate yourself while questioning and dealing with this battle.

Remember to be proud of how you fought this battle and will continue to fight this battle.

I write this for all including myself because these battles can make one very weary to say the least.

You're all champions.

rabina
 
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terri

Guest
Something that isn't said to those who hear voices and that is:

Be proud of yourselves; you have every reason to be.

You fight hard and long and usually alone.

Everyday is a battle so it seems, but you made it through and you
should hold your head high for all you accomplished and will accomplish no matter how small you think these accomplishments may be.
They are not small accomplishments; they are of great importance to yourself and others.

I look at those who don't hear voices and think; how I wish I were you and even become angry or envious because they don't suffer the same as I do.

But then, no man can suffer as another does and could that man handle the pain?

You know what my point is and that is we all have our crosses to bear.

Don't underestimate yourself while questioning and dealing with this battle.

Remember to be proud of how you fought this battle and will continue to fight this battle.

I write this for all including myself because these battles can make one very weary to say the least.

You're all champions.

rabina
Thankyou Rabina

Your words are the reverse disacarta. I must agree with some aspects of what your post says and disagree with other points. The points I disagree with these days are that I am actually really rather proud of hearing voices and do not consider it a cross to bear. I remember begging on bended knees for understanding because I knew there was something out there other than those wicked wiyard type of voices and the karma voices and waves of love and kindess came through with such great force that I knew that my not a lot of prayers had been answered.

I am still suffering in a terrible way though through another who will have no new flesh when he has gone who questions eveery single thing I do, every intonation in my voice, every look, every glance, the clothes I wear, the people I meet, where I am going, how I look when I go out, ever tablet I ever take or do not, every single breath I take and I by that I mean even down to sighing. I have had an awful experience at the hands of this no human being any longer not for nothing and now I must just go on without this person whenever I can because you cannot understand what an awful controlling kind of person he became and I have been at the hands of this particular non human one for more years than I care to count and you would never guess what I do not even hate me although he makes me want to bang my head on the wall in utter frustration at his inability to understand that I must just move on and just the other night he was shouting his head off and swearing like he always does and he had had too much booze and his voice rang out right over the valley and I was so ashamed of him and told him to shut up and be quiet and that just made him worse and he said he would not and called me a f000000g twat and if his dad who is no longer dead because he has everlasting life ever heard him talking like that when he was with flesh and bone he would have sorted him out and while I am still letting off steam he is getting more alcoholic and more violence both in his voice and phzsically as well and I dust do not know what to do about him any longer and only this morning I told him what he had done and he said he had not idea and could not remember and not even a tad of embarrassment. and not onlz that zou should see the look in this persons ezes, he looks at me as though he hates me and is so cruel and has such a persona that it is difficult to escape from and I told him I was going to the spa even though it is so hot and I decided not to just to come to the librarz and because I got dressed rather nicelz he went off on one and told me not to go because I dont normally go to the spa dressed like this even though I am only wearing a teeshirt and skirt and not trousers and then he creeps up on me and watches every single thing I am doing I cant tell you how at the end of my tether i am with him so shall i just chuck him or what? But I must tell you, as soonas I got into the care my voices and I were off and they were helping me with my driving and telling me what traffic to watch out for ahead because I am not used to driving on the right and then we all start to sing and laugh and even the radio takes part because the sound waves from the radio become my voices as well and I have gone from utter despair to being very happy within the space of a morning and of course I cannot tell him about mz voices and should I just say one word out of place or with the wrong intonation off he goes again, you must take zour tablets and I cant go on with this any more and I said to him you must stop drinking so much and he said i will do that if you take zour tablets........... this is called emotional blackmail of the worse kind because I know full well I do not need those awful mind controlling parkinson causing brain destruction tablets. Thats not all for now but must just post before I use too manz characters..

terri
 
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terri

Guest
Anyhow, thankyou for reading my letting off steam post.

This morning I told him I was staying out for a month at our home in Europe and he said i could not and that I would be after other men which is just not at all true whatsoever because I cannot stand the thought of ever meeting another man who you think you can trust and who looks like a greek god at times and how looks can be deceptive and so I suppose I have rather lost my trust in the male sex, and how he turned all those words back when I said I was going to stay because what happens is everytime we are home and two to three weeks before we go to our cottage in not slovakia not no more he starts saying things like you are not going, I dont want you there, you are insane and a mad woman and you would show me up and cause me embarrassment and then he says you must take all those tablets and I promise you this, I am not insane, I am not mentally ill, and I do promise you I shall never taken those tablets although I am tempted sometimes just to shut him up and then the blithering idiot starts saying the same things over and over again and then I start to get angry and start to let off steam and start to state my case and thats at that point that he says he is going to phone for the crisis team at the local mental hospital because more often than not I am starting to cry by this stage and then he gets his phone and starts talking to who I believe is someone from the crisis team at the end of the phone for them to come to my house and I know full well should they turn up and see me in a state of distress or ever angry they will wrongly assume I am having some sort of nervous or mental breakdown and then when I am even more distressed at what he has done he puts the phone down and says he is going to get me sectioned for not less than six months so that he can have the house we both own and end up with our cottage in europe and not only that he says he is going to get them to give men injections of the chlorpromayine because I refuse to take the tablets and that he has every right to do that and I would have no choice other than to have the injections and I do not even have schizophrenia by their definition of the word although I am so proud I could SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS YES I DO HEAR VOICES AND NO HUMAN BEING THAT I KNOW OR COME INTO CONTACT WITH THROUGH FLESH AND BONE WILL EVER KNOW THAT

terri
 
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terri

Guest
contd..

and I want you to know that even when I was grieving for my mother all those years ago and crying my eyes out he called me the mad woman and told me he was going to ring for the mental hospital, which rather pushed me over the edge and caused me to be unable to cope and that was when I was taken away and not in a yellow van not at all but by him because I could not stop crying and even my brother not half not j not for nothing has rather taken his side and now has nothing to do with me anylonger and now I am not going to start crying again although I feel said because I know I have so much spport from all my voices and there is that reassuring cold chill at the back of my neck and my voices are talking to me now and there is now a female voices saying mary we need no more and now she said I must go quiet because we are not half fighting satanism no more which is what this has all been about right back from the year 1990 which a good long break of almost 10 years and after that from the time of the millenium we have been rather putting satanism to rest and have been taking over thge worl and not half david icke and not a lot more and that stupid idiot of not a flesh and bone man not for nothing when he is rather dead and gone has stopped me every step of the way and had rather a lot of awareness all the time and he was not walking around my cottage looking rather like an old friend of mine and like a lizard not for nothing and I am not going into detail but he attacked me and then the next day said he knew nothing about those worls and mmmm I dont assume anything will ever come of this because it never does but he gets worse and worse and gets pleasure from violence and while I was at home I did not half call the police when he got me by the throat and you know what... the police could not have cared less because you know why.... two guesses, he told them I was a mad woman and was off the tablets and the police believed him and I could not even chuck him out or chance the locks and the next morning there was not a touch of compassionate or being sorry and now you know that should you ever be diagnosed with any sort of mental problem you had been take a run a jump not off the kalahari bridge not for nothing, do not commit suicide or be suicidal as I have been at times at the hands of this man, and you know what he said, he woulde kick me downstairs and make it look like an accident and I gave the police this statement and they still think I am some sort of crackpot and I told them everything about the time when he samshed my treasures together and broke my heart and chucked my computer at me and hit me with a plate with the corner in my kidneys and caused bruiying and now he shoved a metal bottle of not fabreeye not for nothing under my nose under my face when i was not expecting it and pulled my hair back and when I zelled for him to stop it, he just laughe3d and said he was going to get me into the mental hospital and when I told our sis about all this she sides with you know who as well as does my rather poorly dad and my other sister darn and my other sister who lives not too far away and my sons say they cannot cope with it any more so now i have no one whatsoever because my friends now do a runner when they see me because of those mf tablets and because he tells them i dont take them and i went to the doctors because i am having bleeding out of my nipple and the first thing my doctor says is are you taking those tablets so i say yes i am and could i have a reduction from 25 mg of chlorpormayine (even though you and I know I dont take them) and he said no you cannot and you have to take them for the rest of your life and I will increase the dosage as you get older so no wonder I do not want to go back to england and no wonder I dont want to stay around here any more either because they are like a communist state and are backwards with regard to women and its like before germain greer in their attitude towards women and if you should so much as go in to a bar on your own the older men literally stare you out or give you the come on when you shgould see the state of these older and middle aged guys, i would not touch them with a barge pole so I dont half wind them up, buy two drinks and make out d's coming later and then say where is he and look at my watch and then say hes probably fell asleep or something and then I am off and then I say hes drunk and then they laugh their heads off and ask me to join them, so I did and the next thing I know this old chap who was very smelly started sticking his tongue out and licking his lips and then flicking his tongue up and down as though he was performing cunnilingus so I did no more than chucked him not a euro not for nothing and walked out in utter disgust though that was not before the guy next to me got hold of my foot and tickled my soul without shoes on and all the guys were laughing so Ive no chance of ever living in not slo not for nothing so not im not so famous for very long because I am not half well known by lots of real not famous people now must dust post...><

Several spelling mistakes because the keyboard in europe is slightly different to ours in england.

Update Edit: I know this reads like a horror story, and was typing as fast as I could to get it all out. back in Blighty now, completely destressed and on the richteur scale of sanity am completely 0 out of 100. Lol. 30.5.09
 
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terri

Guest
contd

and not only that I am not half going back to work to earn myself some money because you know what I am not half going to not leave slov not for very long because I have found a way forward because I no no one whatsoever who I particularly want to be involved with or know over in slov so now I am not half being rather a loner and no nutter because you know what, now I have found out why so many people keep themselves to themselves and away from other people although i really would have loved to go to Maastrich I know there is no way whilever I know this person because he would stop me every step of the way and that would be the confirmation he needed that I am a voice hearer and use it against me and create havok within the mental health sstem because not only do friends and relations believe him and not me, so does the doctors and so do the metanl health team and my son gets dragged in and his dad gets them phoning the mental health team as well and gets them round and when they turned up I literally left them to it went into the kitchen out the way and made myself and them a cuppa because they rather go around in circles asking the same questions, like are you sleeping so I say yes, thgen are you eating then I say yes, do you hear voices so I say, no dont talk daft, so then they say are you seeing things so I say no so then they say stuff like, hows things at work so I say ok and then they say are you retiring so I say well yes I am rather retired and then they check out my clothes to see whether I have anything on them, ie like spilt porridge or a drop of zogurt, so I make sure I am clean and well dressed and then they sniff the air to see if i am smelly even though Ive just had a sauna or a shower, and then they check my house to see if it is clean and tidy and all this time i am standing with my arms crosse4d and tapping my feet and i am cechking them out and thinking this girl jin front of me is not half puddled cos she sort of loses the plot and gayes into space and then the mental health nurse who is male who is obviously gay gives my son the come on even though he is not gay and they are obviously mates, and then they ask me if I want to go away from a while, that is off to the nut house, even though I am a tadge angry by this time and then I say I am not, and then they insist on watching me take a tablet so thats when I get even more angry so yeah you have guessed it, i say i am not, so thats a nother ball rolling and then they say i must go away if i dont have the injection and my son says i must even though he is far too young to undersstand i do not need or want to go away or take the tablets and thzen they involved the gp and i could not half go on and this fucking wanker gwho is an untter control freak who says I am too mental to make any kind of decision for myself and i do not mean our sons suddenly appears rather at the last moment and gives them his agreement and thats why i am no longer married to this man any more and i do not half sleep alone and i do not do divorce because that would be rather stupid and put me through lots of no needed stress and thats not all I have rather got him startled because I have no debt whatsoever and he has rather a large mortgage to pay off and has rather a lot of ten years in which to pay it so he either rather gets very skint and pays it off himself and not by me or he works not until he drops, because he is rather a fit man and his job keeps him looking like a rather greek god so there thats it girls, do not go for looks because that is what i did and look at the scumbag i got.... if i was still on men, which i am not now and am not bothered because i have rather a lot of wonderful tantric sox, Id got for an ulgy man everytime, one with depth of character, not a tin can like that mf idiot who knows how to press my buttons and rather iwnd me up... oh yeah, by the way, Ive got wichard off the hooks by telling no one because he rather hears voices as well i know it and he does though he does not know he hears voices, though he hears them not quite in the same way I do... His are rather quiet....... not to be continued any more
 
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rabina

Guest
Hi Terri,

You have many years of dealing with voices and have found through
your wisdom on how to deal with the negative or not so nice voices which is to your benefit.

I have been hearing this voice for only 18 months which is a short time compared to many so I'm in the beginning stages of it.

I do find the voice I hear to be a "life altering" unpleasant occurance since it is so persistant and frequent and distracting which interferes with the life I used to know.

It's a battle for me and I'm sure for others, but this is why I say;
be proud of yourself for you're enduring something most people don't endure or experience in their life time.

It is good to know that many have found beneficial methods of dealing with their own personal voice(s).

Thanks for sharing,
rabina
 
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terri

Guest
Hi Terri,

You have many years of dealing with voices and have found through
your wisdom on how to deal with the negative or not so nice voices which is to your benefit.

I have been hearing this voice for only 18 months which is a short time compared to many so I'm in the beginning stages of it.

I do find the voice I hear to be a "life altering" unpleasant occurance since it is so persistant and frequent and distracting which interferes with the life I used to know.

It's a battle for me and I'm sure for others, but this is why I say;
be proud of yourself for you're enduring something most people don't endure or experience in their life time.

It is good to know that many have found beneficial methods of dealing with their own personal voice(s).

Thanks for sharing,
rabina
Thank you for your kind words Rabina. I really appreciate you taking the time to read those posts.

just to clarify: I haven't been hearing voices for many years at all. As an adult, occasionally since 1999 and then on a regular basis since around about 2003/4. it's difficult to put a specific period of time on them, but at one time all the voices were very destructive and evil which completely turned around at a time when I began to lose fear from the evil voices, and at this point the karma voices full of love, understanding and guidance, came through, replacing the evil voices, who, the evil voices that is (and they really do exist, they are not a figment of the imagination or part of a brain illnes) were in a 'world of their own which included me and their determination to destroy me'.

Nowadays, I have visions during waking periods even though my eyes are closed and I also have guardians, many different ones, who guide me and who tell me 'not to stick around' should the evil presences be in my vicinity, sometimes literally getting out of my bed to stop them entering my mind eye from behind their 'candle'.

It's all a matter of trust. In one of my posts, I mentioned that my hand was being taken over by a spirit and that my head was being turned to the left. Absolutely nothing to be afraid of - merely an example of what benign spirits can d
o., Should I have refused to go in the direction I was guided there would not have been a problem.


Must get on. I've been on the computer nearly all morning and have much to do. All's well here. Lovely sunny day, Cup final to look forward to this afternoon and plenty of support from my wonderful voices. Just to clarify, the negative voices around me are not disembodied, they do truly belong to real living human beings who have freedom of choice in the way they treat other human beings in what they do and in what they say. Let me deal with the dead for they do not cause me stress (evil spirits excluded) with their knowledge of what is over the otherside and their inability to help anyone who does not believe in Christ, Mohammad, Buddism, Taoism, Yahew, Hinduism, whoever, or more simply put, ever lasting life after the decay of the human body. The last sentence is not intended to instil fear into anyone, but am saying 'how it is' and we do not therefore have a black hole around here because of our 100% belief in what is behind the veil.

Terri x

Hope I am making some sort of sense.

Terri x
 
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rabina

Guest
Hi Terri,

How true about the negativity among the living which at times is "evil."

I live around negativity and it does not help when someone is already in distress; therefore I'm trying to get out.

You know the saying, "kicking someone when they're down."

Disagreeing and negativity are 2 different things though, but it's the way in which a person perceives it.

I don't believe in speaking in unknown words, but rather, I'd prefer to have people "spit" it out.

It all becomes so insane and it doesn't have to be.

You could explain about the veil; I'd be interested.

Thanks,
rabina
 
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terri

Guest
Hello Rabina

to explain 'Behind the Veil'

There is a hidden land behind all knowledge, away from all fear, for us, all those who have suffered, for all those who are voice hearers, who are "within the hands of Christ yet away from him through no choice of our own" but because of the situation in which we find ourself and who are not within the realm of religion, catholisms, church of england, methodism, etc. etc. etc. which is not here for us because of how we suffer and because of how we hear our voices. There is no specific number upon this hidden land behind the veil as far as I am aware though I do know that it goes into thousands which is not accessible to us until we have understanding of what happens behind the veil, but still, it is here for us when we pass over, and then we know this place, at least I do now, because it is shown to me regularly, not every night when I go to bed or when I go into a dream state or during the day when I relax on my settee, but many many other times, and with great sincerity, when I come to doubt, as of course I do at times in times of crisis.


It is natural to question, and I do, as you do now Rabina.

I am off to bed now.

Terrix
 
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