No help for eating disorder if you are not skinny?

H

helpmerecover

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#1
I have had an eating disorder to various degrees for 14 years. My eating habits vary greatly depending on how bad I feel and I often switch between food restriction and binging/purging. However I feel that because I am not skinny and do not fit one particular text book case, there is no help for me. I was assessed by an ed clinic who told me I was too depressed to deal with it, but how can that be when they go hand in hand. When one gets worse then so does the other and visa versa. So on leaving the hospital I just felt it was an excuse and they were just not going to help me. Now I'm set to repeat history and I honestly felt it was because I was not skinny. They even told me that they only help extreme cases of bulimia, so where does that leave the rest of us? Help, am I destined to live with this forever just because I'm not 'bad enough' ? I don't know what to do anymore :(
 
Fairy Lucretia

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#2
hi ,sometimes people with ED ,the underlying cause is depression ,but not always
I imagine from what you say here the doctor felt your eating disorder was brought on by depression ,so its possible they were telling you treating the depression may help the ED ,or make the ED easier to treat
x
I went to an ED clinic as a teenager ,I was not too thin ,just under 7 stone and I was treated more for depression rather than an ED ,maybe it would be an idea to go see your gp and explain you feel the hospital were not taking on board your concerns ,I very much hope you soon find the treatment you deserve
welcome to the forum
love from lucretia
xx
 
calypso

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#3
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum

Its the same story all over. I think all you can do is find a self help group. There are usually some around or online. BUT be very careful of those sites which we call "Pro Ana". Those are the sites which promote eating disorders and you need to leave them well alone.

I will ask my colleagues if they know of somewhere which might be able to help you. I would say that going back to your GP and talking it over with him/her might be helpful as they have access to other agencies sometimes. The clinic you went to, didn't they have a list of things you might be able to do? These places only offer that sort of help when asked for it.

I wonder if you can find a Mindfulness group near you. Its a slightly radical idea for an ED, but learning how to manage your mind could be very helpful.

I really hope someone who has an ED comes along soon to help and support you. I'm sorry I can't be of much use to you. xxx
 
BlueGlass

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#4
I was thinking the same as Lu, maybe try tackling it from the depression angle first, which will most likely help you ED. Worked for me, so hopefully it will work for you.

xxx
 
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helpmerecover

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#5
My ed and depression definitely go hand in hand, I was never depressed until I started having problems with food. I have tried everything without going back down the ed clinic route again, but to no avail and am always told they do not specialise to help with the ed so what am I supposed to do?
 
T

Topcat

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#6
I've had no one except the last Pdoc I saw show any concern or interest in my ED being a problem, or separate entity to my other issues.
Even though I know it's a problem, part of me doesn't want it fixed, so I'm not pushing for any interest.
I don't know how help for it goes?
X
 
catkin

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#7
I can relate, altho have BED not bulimia. There is no service here, I've been bingeing for over 20 years, can remember first time when it started - trauma related, had no help for it in all that time. Am told that if I can talk about the past stuff then the bingeing will stop....If I was as underweight as I am overweight I think I would get some help. It's just a slower death.
I hope you can find some help, there should be help according to the Nice guidelines....x
 
lostgirl19

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#9
Just want to say you're not alone I too feel like unless you have a low BMI that you won't get help with an ED and you won't be taken seriously...having said that I think that's just our perception! Various people including my GP and people in the mental health services have picked up that I have a problem there (and baring in mind i'm an average weight according to my BMI) and they have really tried to push me to address it and my GP has told me it is certainly not silly like I say it is...I think really that if it's what's making you depressed (like it is for me) you need to emphasise that to health professionals and hopefully they will be understanding. But I too know what it's like to think "I'm to fat to have an ED" etc and those sort of thoughts can stop me from getting the help I probably could really do with. I'm hoping you just had a one off bad experience with the ED clinic and there are other ways of getting help for an ED. Or maybe you could get referred back and get someone else to assess you? I think the main thing is to make sure your GP is understanding... if an ED clinic isn't appropriate for whatever reason there are other options such as a CMHT (that's my only option anyway as there's no ED clinic anywhere near where I live!) and therapies such as CBT that could potentially help you. Please don't lose hope, I really hope you get all the help you need especially after struggling for so long xx
 
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helpmerecover

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#10
I have been under the cmht for 12 years as they were the first people the gp referred me to all those years ago and its them that tell me they don't specialise and them who referred me back. I had help from the ed clinic for a while when I was first diagnosed. I was smaller than I am now, but also a lot younger and I hadn't had 2 kids back then. I would have thought the fact that I have history with them would make them want to help me, so they must think I'm not 'bad enough' this time to deserve their help. Catkin my thoughts exactly, if the scales said considerably less, I doubt they would hesitate to help me. Just don't no what to do about it anymore!!
 
RainbowHeartz

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#11
I have bulimia... my pdoc wasn't interested in that side of things and CC just said it was a coping strategy for me.. and I realise how frustrating it is that nobody seems to help with the eating issues... but maybe the idea is we tackle underlying issues before they help with an ED... just a theory idk
Ally x
 
Rileydoll92

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#12
I understand what you mean completely, it's ridiculous because not everybody has those obvious IN YOUR FACE symptoms of an eating disorder, I mean, speaking from personal experience you get extremely good at hiding and putting on a façade out of guilt and shame. They don't seem to realize that there is so much more to eating disorders than what a person is or isn't eating, it's a big mental health issue, not just some 'eating problem' someone does for attention.
 
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helpmerecover

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#13
I'm so glad that it's not just my paranoia and others have had the same experience. I just found out that my care co-coordinator had not even referred me like she said she would. Just feels like another dismissal. Don't know what to do because one way or another I need help! :(
 
BlueGlass

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#14
I would give her a ring, it is unacceptable not to do as she promise. But maybe she just forgot and needs a reminder.
xxx
 
Q

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#16
The purpose of life is to lead life, not for any depression, Take it as challenge for you, think how can i change my self. My kid is having same problem, i am trying to get rid of it. He is at the age of 8, i don't know what to do, but still i have confidence that things will change.. I am finding some online support and i have spoken with my friends for the same. I pray for you who are resides here. God Bless you all.
 
HaHaCrazy

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#17
As far as the mental health system is concerned, the best thing you can do is take responsibility for your own wellness. You are the head of your treatment team, not the doctor. If you wait for them to do it for you, you'll be waiting.
I've been trying to lose weight since I was 8. Every day I try to eat normal size portions, and make healthy food choices. Every day it's a struggle, which I lose every night, when I go back for seconds, thirds, fourths.
Calling myself a fat pig doesn't help, but I have a lot of practice at it.
I jogged my whole life, but eating outpaced my obsessive excercising, and now I'm too old and fat to even walk fast.
Part of me feels like I can't help, I was born with a big appetite, and it's foolish to fight nature. But then other times I think it is possible.
There's plenty of discrimination against fat people, even among eating disorders, the anorexics feel superior because at least they're thin.
Part of me hates thin people that think they have superior will power.
I''ve only been acting naturally my whole life, so how can i be so far from okay?
 
BlueGlass

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#18
As far as the mental health system is concerned, the best thing you can do is take responsibility for your own wellness. You are the head of your treatment team, not the doctor. If you wait for them to do it for you, you'll be waiting.
I've been trying to lose weight since I was 8. Every day I try to eat normal size portions, and make healthy food choices. Every day it's a struggle, which I lose every night, when I go back for seconds, thirds, fourths.
Calling myself a fat pig doesn't help, but I have a lot of practice at it.
I jogged my whole life, but eating outpaced my obsessive excercising, and now I'm too old and fat to even walk fast.
Part of me feels like I can't help, I was born with a big appetite, and it's foolish to fight nature. But then other times I think it is possible.
There's plenty of discrimination against fat people, even among eating disorders, the anorexics feel superior because at least they're thin.
Part of me hates thin people that think they have superior will power.
I''ve only been acting naturally my whole life, so how can i be so far from okay?
Whilst I agree with most of your post, you don't know what everyone with anorexia thinks, so don't generalise. We need to support not insult each other regardless of what eating disorder anyone has.
xxx
 
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#19
overeaters anon is good for eating disorders for people with issues with food just thought id mention it
and yes its shocking the lack of help there is generally reallyx
 
HaHaCrazy

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#20
Sorry BlueGlass. You're right. We need to support each other. Actually I believe we are two sides of the same coin. We are more similar than we are different.
 

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