• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

"Newly" Diagnosed

M

MochiKoi

New member
Joined
May 3, 2021
Messages
1
Location
USA
I was looking through my medical records online a few days ago and realized that I was diagnosed with BPD back in 2019, without being informed of it. It makes sense and I've suspected it for awhile now. It was definitely a bit.... jolting? to have it be confirmed. I've severely struggled with mental illness since I was 12/13(Honestly, before that even but this was sort of the tipping point. I'm 21 now) I have bipolar 2, general anxiety disorder, and bulimia...and BPD. My depression and anxiety I've mostly gotten under control it feels like(super good at analyzing myself, coping, thought retraining, etc). But I still get random fits and this diagnosis explains it. After thinking about it, I really think my abandonment fear is the main thing holding me back at this point. My eating disorder still sucks but it's always just kinda meh in my brain. I've gotten used to being alone, as I've pretty well pushed out everyone in my life. I have 1 bestfriend, we don't talk often. and then I have my favorite person. We're romantic, but not officially together due to distance(2 hrs, neither of us drive rn). I'm always so on edge of him leaving. He's also mentally ill and in feb I did something(really minor, in reality) that made him pull away romantically. The reason he did it, plus my fear of him leaving threw me into extreme suicidal ideation and I admitted myself. He came back around after a couple weeks and we're as happy as can be, but because of this and all my past abandonment, everytime he gets minorly upset, or texts less my brain goes insane. He's very loving, and always reassuring me and gives me basically everything I could want. I'm starting therapy for the first time in 2 years after going off that and meds cold turkey. I'm on medicine but obviously I don't think it's helping, that much anyway.(I didn't know of the BPD diagnosis, so the hospital just knew bipolar so ofc meds)

I'm not really sure what the point of this is. I guess it's just kind of rambling and spewing into the void. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, words of kindness, etc. Feel free to share.
 
D

Dagoon

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
152
Location
Np20
How do you get to see your medical records? And welcome ❤
 
L

lemontree

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2021
Messages
94
Location
Home
How do you get to see your medical records? And welcome ❤
I'm not sure about different countries but where I live you have the right as a patient to request access to your medical files at any time and they must be legally supplied to you. Have a look at the policies in your country, you may also have the legal right to access them.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
I was looking through my medical records online a few days ago and realized that I was diagnosed with BPD back in 2019, without being informed of it. It makes sense and I've suspected it for awhile now. It was definitely a bit.... jolting? to have it be confirmed. I've severely struggled with mental illness since I was 12/13(Honestly, before that even but this was sort of the tipping point. I'm 21 now) I have bipolar 2, general anxiety disorder, and bulimia...and BPD. My depression and anxiety I've mostly gotten under control it feels like(super good at analyzing myself, coping, thought retraining, etc). But I still get random fits and this diagnosis explains it. After thinking about it, I really think my abandonment fear is the main thing holding me back at this point. My eating disorder still sucks but it's always just kinda meh in my brain. I've gotten used to being alone, as I've pretty well pushed out everyone in my life. I have 1 bestfriend, we don't talk often. and then I have my favorite person. We're romantic, but not officially together due to distance(2 hrs, neither of us drive rn). I'm always so on edge of him leaving. He's also mentally ill and in feb I did something(really minor, in reality) that made him pull away romantically. The reason he did it, plus my fear of him leaving threw me into extreme suicidal ideation and I admitted myself. He came back around after a couple weeks and we're as happy as can be, but because of this and all my past abandonment, everytime he gets minorly upset, or texts less my brain goes insane. He's very loving, and always reassuring me and gives me basically everything I could want. I'm starting therapy for the first time in 2 years after going off that and meds cold turkey. I'm on medicine but obviously I don't think it's helping, that much anyway.(I didn't know of the BPD diagnosis, so the hospital just knew bipolar so ofc meds)

I'm not really sure what the point of this is. I guess it's just kind of rambling and spewing into the void. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, words of kindness, etc. Feel free to share.
Welcome, hope you find support on here ❤
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
I'm not sure about different countries but where I live you have the right as a patient to request access to your medical files at any time and they must be legally supplied to you. Have a look at the policies in your country, you may also have the legal right to access them.
Got my medical / hospital records sent to me on disc within weeks of applying. UK law will do it within 6-8weeks I think?
 

Similar threads

Top