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Newby with Bipolar

Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
I've very recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They aren't sure yet whether it's I or II and so they haven't prescribed meds BUT have put me forward for councelling.
I had my first serious depressive episode about 2 years ago and was put on antidepressants (citalopram) and after about 4 weeks, I started to feel better - was on top of the world, number one, noone was better than me, began spending insane amounts of money, slept around and thought the government was spying on me through use of CD's so started washing them in the sink with lemonade. I stopped taking the AD's after this and it carried on for about 2 months, when I started to 'come down' and returned to being me.
Anyways, now I'm in a depressive episode and it's worse than the last one and my doctor, councellor, therapist etc have told me too carry on with the AD's until my bipolar meds can be sorted. I've tried committing suicide 3 times in the last 10 days and have fresh new cuts on my wrist, have lost 3 friends because of this illness - the last one was my closest friend and even though he's apologised and said he wants to be my friend again and should have everything to live for (so I'm told anyways), I barely eat, I'm constantly tired, crying, planning my death and funeral, feeling sick etc - I'm finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

I'm just wondering is there a light at the end of this tunnel really? My boyfriend anf friends are worried sick too. :unsure:

Thanks!
Lozzi
 
lucid scream

lucid scream

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Jan 22, 2008
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Looking down from the bridge
i can tell you i have felt the hopelessness you describe and have had it lift and i felt much better.
will it ever get better forever and always? it hasnt for me, i go up and down, i feel good, then i feel great, then i feel good, then i feel down. the meds, for me, dont stop the bp cycles, but they dull them enough to be bearable.

i doubt you'll always feel as down as you do today. it will take a few weeks for your meds to work, though. so yeah, theres a light down there, but its not the end of the tunnel. it is a bright spot though!

:welcome:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Lucid is right, the meds take a little time to work and it can be hard. I've been bipolar for too many years to want to remember but I'm stable for the time being and coping quite well. That's down to the right meds and the support from the guys here as well as the people in the real world.

Do remember when it's dark and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel that because you're right in the middle of it and keep moving in the right direction and you will see it.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i remember feelin like ther was no light at the end of the tunnel, but i used to say well i`ll probably just get used to havein a crappy life. well it was along time ago now but things change, i found new jobs, new hobbies and plenty of new friends. everytime these new things came up all the past and emotions i was feeling just went right out the window.

try to relax and maybe take in some kind of alternative medication that you need to get out the house for.
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
Thanks! I suppose it's knocked me back having been diagnosed with something like this. Knowing that there's so many people out there with bipolar who are stable and leading normal lives is quite good to know. Still feel hopeless today, but I'm hoping it will change soon.
Thanks again

Lozzi:flowers:
xxx
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Lozzi take time to get used to the diagnosis. It took me years and I fought against it a long time. I eventually learned I should be fighting the illness and not the diagnosis. Scott has suggested alternative medicine but you should always check out that with your GP/Psych as they can have counterindications. Don't give yourself a hard time and just do one thing everyday for yourself. Me, I kiss my cats feet everyday because I love their softness and there is 4 cats to get round so it keeps me occupied a while!
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
Thanks Dollit! I'll ask my GP/psych about the alternative medicines :). Hmm, I'll try and think of one thing too do for myself and see how it goes - awww pussy cats ^.^ dead cute!

Thankies :flowers:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
My consultant is convinced that without my cats I'd be dead a long time ago. I can leave people behind but not my cats, one of them would never settle with anyone else so as long as she lives then I do. And by that time there'll be another dependent baby for me to love. Never underestimate to power of love.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i was just thinkin of acupuncture or reiki to carm you down a bit (if ur even feelin really high strung), you dont need to ask your doctor about those.
 
lucid scream

lucid scream

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@ scottsblue: lol, when i think of 'alternative medication i have to leave the house for' i think of something entirely different than rieki or acupuncture.
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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sorry people, but acupuncture is good its saved my skin a couple of times. it all depends where ur problems actually lay for which (therapy) you go to:D.
 
D

Dashem

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Jun 22, 2008
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cleveland
Hi Lozzi

hi and welcome :) to this fiendly site. I like u are new to this and find it very hard, i have bi polar, altho my shrink, soz cant spell the proper name.. lol.. or rather 2 lazy to find the dictionary and look it up..lol..says i am borderline because i tend to spend most of my time in the down side of bi polar altho in the past have had my highs and like everyone else felt great on top off the world, invinceable gone on spending sprees made silly decisions an irrational thoughts, but lucky for me i can now tell when the high moods come that they are not real, they are not the real me!!!! i am a very sensible careful person normally, but change when on a high, even tho it feels great i know deep down its not right... i take reboxetine anti d for my depression and depakote to keep my mood stable, but on the odd occassion when i go on the high which i know feels great, but its not good for my mental health, i take olanzapine for a few weeks, this brings me back down to earth.. hope u get ur meds sorted soon, do try persiver with them cos they can take a while to kick in and if u have the chance for counselling, try it, it works 4 me sometimes its nice to off load on an outsider, but do come on here and let us know how u doin, u will be amazed at how many ppl can show empthaty to how u feeling....hang in there..
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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thers nothing wrong with feeling high dashem, i bet ther isnt a person in the world that feels the same 24 hours a day all ther life.

dont you think its normal for people to go out at the weekend all dressed up feeling good cos they look nice?
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
I can't quite get over just how nice everyone is on here... I've just burst out crying at work :redface:
oOoOo scottsblue, acupuncture *shudders* i hate needles, everytime I have to go for a blood test I freak out :s but reiki I quite like the sound of :) thanks!
xxx :flowers:
 
I

Isca

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May 23, 2008
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Norfolk, UK.
Anti Depressants (ADs)

Hello! My psychiatrists do not recommend ADs at all. S/he say that ADs are well known to make symtoms worse in Bi-P., which is why I am never prescribed them; because last time I was prescribed them by my GP I got worse.
Do you have an advocate?
Jx
 
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