newbie with bipolar.....

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noodlepixie

Guest
#1
Hi all ive just discovered this site and thought id say hello, its not nice to see so many with urgh mental health issues but it is good that i can relate to experiances...

ive been diagnosed with bipolar i am on lithium current dosage is 1200mg.. and my psyciatrist is considering uping my dosage even tho i though i was on the biggest.. more fool me.. i also self harm i don't cut but i can with stand pain well and injure myself by bruising have broken both my wrists before...

I have found that ive lost friends that i thought were good friends but when confiding in them theyve been slowly turning my back on me..

I really hate this illness its soul destroying..... im going thru a bad phase of depression at the moment... but ive been given the crisis team to help... lucky me..

have any of you been involved with the crisis team and/or had to go into hospital due to the "illness"... :) to you all
 
S

sarah40

New member
Joined
May 16, 2009
Messages
2
Location
herefordshire
#2
newbie too

hi noodlepixie

ive just come home after 3 months in the local mental health unit, l was diagnosed with bipolar II while in there. l didnt self harm this time though have in the past. however i did escape and was brought back from the local railway bridge by the police, l ended up on a section 3 then.

im taking lithium, olanzapine and phenelzine now which helps but l feel very subdued at times its taken my bubblyness away :( which is confusing at the moment l dont feel myself anymore.

im getting help from my local branch of 'mind' they recommended a whole host of websites including this one and do dropin centers and courses all sorts - its my life line at the moment else l wouldnt leave the house without my husband.

perhaps you have one near you that you could try l strongly recommend them. Good luck xxx
 
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noodlepixie

Guest
#3
sarah...
thanks for the reply, i will see if i have any in my area... i wish you lots of luck and success...xx
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
869
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
#4
Hi NoodlePix,
I am on lithium also - 1400 mg. Seroquel 900 mg and epilim 1700 mg. I've not really been well since my last admission. I am currently seeing the crisis team atm too. I am going to make a post about that later on. I have been hospitalized a number of times by the crisis team. Sometimes I was just seeing them until I got a bed in hospital. I have been in hospital far, far to 0many times. I would imagine 30 times or more since I was 17 - soon to be 39.

The vast majority of my friends are people I met on the ward. I feel that most of them are the best when it comes to understand =ing what I am going through. I do believe that lithium slows my thinking and dulls me. I hate that drug.

I to used to be a self harmer (I use the term = used - loosely) I cut - but these days I do it much, much less that I used to. I sh often to distract me from my internal pain. I do feel the pain and that is the reason I do it.
Allt he best,
Jacqui
 
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noodlepixie

Guest
#5
Jax
thankyou for sharing your story with me... i get really anxious about things and don't really have anyone to talk to... my other half, he tries but he doesn't really understand and sometimes i think he looks at me like im making it up or just being stupid.... it looks like my meds just being on lithium is quite mild then... or not i don't know.. like i say been landed in this dark hole with not many answers or no-one to explain or ive just not heard... sorry all over the place this morning....

thankyou again and take care i wish you all the best...
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
869
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
#6
Hi again,
I can totally relate to thinking that people won't believe you or that you are making it up. This recent episode I have been having has been so 'severe' for lack of a better word, that the crisis team have seen my swings right in front of their own eyes, as with my nurse and even three friends. A friend in the states rang me last night. I was very high and talking a mile a minute - or so he said. He had me on loud speaker - which I did not know. My friend's partner said that I sounded as high as a kite. (he's a Psychiatric nurse) I then became extremely anxious and had to tell my friend I had to go.

Poor guy, he emailed me telling me what his partner said about my being very high. Then that sudden switch to anxiety. My friend said he is very worried about me. I hate to worry people. But it is not as if I have any control over my swings atm. I have always had quite a lot of swings - but not just as apparent as know. It is a little frightening.

As far as only being on one medication. Sometimes a person may use one and it keeps them well> Some may need two or three. Just depends on the individual and how they respond to certain medications. It's a shame that you have no one to talk t. You maybe should request a CPN or something. Then you would have a outlet.

Take care,
Jacqui
 
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noodlepixie

Guest
#7
my meds are being reviewed again have a blood test next week make sure my lithium is stable then i think my psyciatrist wants to add something.... (she mentioned it when i saw her on friday) ive been feeling so low and urgh these last week today its shifting i can type quick enough my head feels really fuzzy and things are starting to rush round if i don't stop typing i will keep going so i will thankyou for your info yet again.. and will try answering things a little better later ................
 
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dizzylizzy59

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2009
Messages
9
Location
liverpool
#8
not diagnosed yet myself

Hey there im quite new here also not been on for a while though, I started having some weird feelings about a year ago, but it seems like ive been there before, i just put it down to having kids and stress. I realised somtheing wrong when i tried to kill myself, why I dont even know, just felt right at the time. since then I have had highes where i have gone out and bought things like a rabbit a dog, budgies ect things I dont need but want, I start off painting or decorating, then after a few days it switches to gardening ect, my concentration in these highs is very low, I too get rapid speech when in my highs,. Any way I digress a little, the reason I reply is I sort of know how you feel, before I had the breakdown as i call it, and tried to kill myself, I had many friends and people thought i was a nutter but funny, now since Bi polar has been mentioned, people stop calling, dont come round, its as if they are treading on egg shells around me, like they dont know what to do or say, Im still me, just now I am in a normal phase, been a long time since I been so called "normal" but im not high and not low. I am on rispirodone, only 2 mg, but they help me sleep, and toned down the highs I was on, but not the paranoia yet, I am still seeing the doctor in the center, but not sure if I have definitly got bi polar, they will assess shortly. I am wondering in this i know, does anyone else had similar ie people ignoring them or avoiding them since they were diagnosed ?
 
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emerald

Member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
5
Location
nowhere
#9
Hello, and welcome to the boards, I'm sorry to hear about that...
I haven't yet been diagnosed as I haven't been to the doctor's, but am planning to this week, I can't control myself, so am hoping meds would aid at that.
I, too am new here and self-harm, when I was young I used to slit my wrists, which, looking back on, was a stupid idea, as I have faint scars if you look closely. I now use methods of self-harming that aren't obvious, as I don't want others to know, I won't mention them as they aren't at all pleasant...
Some people have encouraged me to tell friends and close ones, but like some of you have mentioned, they would 'tread on eggshells' or 'become distant'. I don't want that at all, so am choosing to keep it between myself and the doctor. Unfortunately, the truth is that the vast majority of people who don't suffer from mh disorders, don't understand.
 

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