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Newbie to bipolar - and the site!

debecca

debecca

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2009
Messages
1
Location
Lancaster
Hellooooooo! (y)

I'm new to the site so I just thought I'd introduce myself. I've had a pretty hellish year so bear with me if the details are looooonnnnng and very boorrrrriiiing!!! Ha ha.

I had my baby back in April and very rapidly developed what we thought at the time was severe Post Natal Depression. The doctor put me on Prozac and I had three weeks on that. I felt GREAT and WONDERFUL and BRILLIANT and was whizzing round the place doing loads with my baby daughter, it was ace (in retrospect I went manic after one pill). My husband commented that I was suddenly like a normal person so I'd maybe been depressed for quite a while in my life, I don't know, it's hard to say cos I've probably not been right since my mum died when I was 21 (2001) or maybe even from my teens? Nothing that you'd notice though, I mean I was moody and my MIL describes me as having an "artistic temperament" but I am generally able to function as a normal human being.

Anyway, where was I going? Oh yes, the Prozac. After 3 weeks I started to develop hives ALL OVER my body and my lips and tongue swelled up... I ended up in A&E I'd had a life-threatening reaction to the pills. After another 5 days I crashed horribly and wanted to kill myself and lay in bed screaming at my husband that I wanted my baby to die so I didn't have to deal with her. That was my first contact with the Crisis Team. Their psychiatrist thought I seemed a bit manic (talking fast and confrontational/aggressive) when she came to see me but my family said I could be like that so she put me on Citalopram. That was the DRUG OF DOOM. I was like a yoyo on it, up and down all day every day. I needed just one hour's sleep, I started obsessively writing letters and using the internet, and I couldn't look after my baby at all. Not one bit. I also wanted to commit suicide, it was like a constant voice in my head telling me I needed to do it. Agitation. Anyway after 3 weeks the Rash of Doom came back - so the psych put me on yet another SSRI (durr) - Sertraline. Again everything was GREAT and WONDERFUL and I lost loads of weight as I wasn't eating anything (went down to 7.5 stone) but managed to look after the baby again and cared about my appearance etc. Guess what happened after three weeks?

So I started on Mirtazapine, which was like the Citalopram and made me agitated and rude and obnoxious - and suicidal. I then went into a Mother and Baby Psychiatric Unit for 3 weeks, where they diagnosed me as possible bipolar III, and put me on Olanzapine, which semi-worked. It just left me happyhigh, which is better than aggressivehigh I guess.

They were crap there though so I switched to The Priory where I saw a BP specialist who started me on Depakote and Quetiapine. The Q was awful. I was staggering into walls and slurring my speech, even after three weeks on a quarter of the usual dose (I'm only tiny). The therapists there expressed concern on my behalf as it left me numb and depressed too. Anyway the Depakote has been brill and after a couple of months I was so much more even.

So clearly I was an idiot and (with the backing of my doctor) decided to halve my dose. WELL! This last few weeks I've been UP and DOWN again. I'm up today and talking too much, can you tell? :oops:

Was suicidal again at the weekend but today is ACE and I've been SHOPPING oops. I don't want to be labelled as BP (I've been fighting the diagnosis since October) but think I may have to finally admit to it being the case. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. Yet ANOTHER new one :confused:

Anyway that's me. I hope to get to know you all! :grouphug:
 
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S

schizolanza

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
3,160
:welcome: to the forum Rebecca.
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
868
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
Hello there Rebecca, (y)
Glad you've decided to join us. Psychiatrists confuse me sometimes. Why on earth did the Pdoc put you on an ssri when she thought you were manic?? LOL Who knows what goes on in some of the minds!!! Anyhow hope to see you posting lots more.
Jacqui x
:welcome:
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
Hi Rebecca :welcome:

Deary me you have had a bad time of it with pdocs and mental health trust in general haven't you?
Hope to see you around :hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Hi and welcome to the forum. I fought the diagnosis for 10 years and then realised it's not the diagnosis that's the problem, it's the illness and started fighting that instead.
 
T

TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
Hiya Rebbecca

Nice to talk to you. Sounds like you have dealt with a lot of stuff hun. How old is your baby now? My Erin is now 2.
 
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