• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

newbie says hello

enfantboheme

enfantboheme

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
54
Location
england, northwest
Hello all. I thought I should introduce myself.

I joined this site a year ago, and completely forgot I was a member- you know how it is, you change your email addy and the old world dies!

Anyway... I checked my old addy today, bored, early sunday morning thing- and found my inbox here was full- so I popped in. And boo! All my personal messages were spam!

I have looked around the boards here, and wow, what a site! It seems (almost) everyone and his dog is walking around thinking they're possessed and being attacked by demons!

I'm not being critical here, folks, just stating the obvious!

And, while on the subject of "stating the obvious"- do people believe that telling "new voice hearers" they're being messed with by Satan is good advice?

I mean, come on, people. How does that benefit anyone?

If what you believe in helps you and helps you get through the day- that's great. Whatever works for you should be good enough for you.

But, you should bear in mind that the advice you give and the opinions you state are just that- opinions. Nothing more.

You should also bear in mind that for "new voice hearers", when they start hearing/seeing/feeling things, everything is confusing. Yes, you do FEEL persecuted- but that doesn't mean anyone really IS persecuting you.

Imagine being recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. You search online for support and end up here, and you become a member and read the boards, and what do you find?

A load of weird stuff and bad advice. People offering to exorsise the demons.

What demons?

I started hearing voices in 1995. I was doing a lot of LSD at the time, and the GP said I had "drug-induced psychosis". In 1996, they said I had schizophrenia.

The GP gave me Melleril, an anti-psychotic. I hated it. It made my heart race and gave me acne. I started putting on weight.

I decided I would rather be mad than fat and spotty, and I flushed the pills away. I since discovered that Melleril causes cardiac arrhythmia (which means your heart starts beating erratically!).

Back then, I was assigned a CPN, but she was a horrible cow and wanted to have me sectioned, so I ran away, and I started living on the streets. I slept rough. I moved into a hostel for the homeless. I sold the Big Issue. I cleaned toilets. I would have done anything and everything so I did not go into hospital.

I did not get DLA. I struggled on "jobseekers allowance". I did not accept that I was mad, or a victim, or less than normal.

Everyday since that day in 1995 I have heard voices in my head that do not belong to me. In the early days, I was tormented and terrified, and tried to kill myself a few times- it was the only way to escape "all the crap". I never had the guts to actually do it. And no- it wasn't a cry for help either, because nobody ever knew I'd sat on the cliffs at Beachy Head ready to throw myself off. Nobody knew how I'd tied a rope around my neck and jumped, and the rope snapped. Nobody knew I'd overdosed on pills and was unconscious for three days.

Thankfully though, almost 20 years later- I'm still alive! Nobody thinks of me as as "a mad skitzo" because I learnt the very valuable art of keeping my mouth shut.

I'm not saying it's easy, but eventually, if you give yourself enough time, if you educate yourself, you will learn how to cope. You will learn how to ignore these voices. You will learn that YOU have control. One day you will wake up and realise that you only get one life, and hearing voices or not, you still have to live. You will wake up and realise that you CAN find happiness, live well and enjoy your life.

Apart from that three weeks of Melleril, I have never taken medication and I have never been incarcirated in a psychiatric unit, either. I have worked in them, though. As a paid advocate, and as a student psychiatric nurse, and...

none of the staff ever knew I was a nutcase!

Why? Because I never told them. You can't tell someone's hearing voices just be looking at them, you know!

My opinion about hearing voices?

Nobody knows what causes voices. Nobody. Not the shrinks, not the nurses, not the brain surgeons and not the psychics or priests either. There's a few theories around, sure, and some of those theories are more sensible than others, but there are no facts we can all cling to!

And, there is no cure either. No pill or magic spell you can use to make it all go away. People will offer you support, but often what they offer you and what you really need are different things.

If you allow yourself to lose control and get sucked into the system your life will be blighted. There are millions of professionals out there who say they want to help you, but very few of them have the power or the ability to help you. Most of them just see you and I as "clients". Even if they are compassionate, good hearted people and they really DO care, there is still nothing much they can do for you.

You just have to learn how to get on with it. And, believe me, you will. Give it time.

Recovery should not be an alien concept. Recovery is your right. Recovery IS possible. You might never stop hearing voices. But... you might. Who knows what will happen? You have to stay alive, keep smiling, and stay positive. Keep dreaming your dreams and planning your schemes and one day, you'll look back and be able to laugh at yourself.

all the best,

enfantboheme xx
 
enfantboheme

enfantboheme

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
54
Location
england, northwest
No, I am not familiar with the term "gaslighting", so I went to Wiki and discovered that...

"Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception".

I am assuming you, Parker, are accusing me of this? Or are you trying to warn me that gaslighting is what I will experience here, from you guys?

Thanks for that.
 
parker

parker

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
278
Location
Oregon
I am assuming you, Parker, are accusing me of this? Or are you trying to warn me that gaslighting is what I will experience here, from you guys?
I'm no expert on this but after reading all your post gaslighting kind of jumped out at me. I read this really good book on it (Gaslighting, The Double Whammy, Interrogation And Other Methods
by Dorpat, Theo L) I think a better definition would be
The various types of gaslighting have in common two defining features. The first is an attempt to impair or destroy an individual’s confidence in his or her psychic abilities. After this first aim has been achieved, the second aim is to gain control over the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of the victim.
By making another person feel fearful, guilty, or ashamed, the manipulator is in a position to gain control over an individuals affects, thoughts and behaviors by substituting his own beliefs.
Like i said it just jumped out at me

But i love your boldness and your abilty to say what's on your mind, i could be wrong on my assumption:)
 
enfantboheme

enfantboheme

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
54
Location
england, northwest
I have written to the site host and asked him/her to remove me from this board. That has not happenned yet and is why I am here today.

I do not want to be a member of this site. I am happy to leave you all to it. I am appalled at the way this site is run, and I am concerned for the health and wellbeing of the posters here. There is no unbiased opinions. There is no information about medication or treatments. There is no guidance or assistance.

Instead, there is a lot of people deluding themselves they are psychic and suggesting people hearing voices should go to christian groups instead and use "deliverance" type methods.

If anyone is being manipulative and using "gaslighting", it is YOU.

I am also annoyed that, by stating an opinion that differs from "yours" I am accused of trying to manipulate and harm other people.

In my opinion, there is a difference between being psychic and being psychotic.

Even though I know you do not care, I will list those differences here.

*Psychics do not claim disability benefit. They usually work for a living.
*Psychics do not behave in ways that trouble other people to the extent that they are sectioned under the mental health act.
*Psychics do not think the state/government/the devil is tormenting/trying to harm them.
*Psychics usually work for the common good.

If you, as a person, are frightened by hearing voices, if you think those voices are part of a conspiracy, and if you are so overwhelmed by your experience that you cannot work for a living or keep your house tidy and eat and wash and exersise, if you cannot maintain relationships and enjoy your life, then you are probably not psychic but suffering with psychosis.

I also think that by telling the average schizophrenic that they are not in fact, psychotic, but psychic, helps nobody.

Being a voice hearer myself, and also being a person who has worked in the NHS as an advocate for people sectioned under the Mental Health Act, and as a student psychiatric nurse, I am well aware of how ill people can get.

I left my nursing course because I did not agree with how people are treated in hospital. I did not agree that medication was the only answer to people's problems, nor did I think that locking people up in a high-stress enviroment and belittling them and treating them like morons was the answer either.

But after being here on this site for a week I am beginning to think that, sometimes, hospital is the best place for some people.

I worry that people who come to this site and really need help will not get it, and instead of "moving on" with their lives they become trapped in their delusions. They become hostile, and disorganised. They become paranoid and scared. They have a crap quality of life, and they suffer.

I was of the opinion that the Hearing Voices Network was a good and safe place, but now I know it is not. I will make it my mission to ensure that everybody I know understands what happens here in this forum, and in this organisation.

So, thanks for making me feel welcome. Thanks for telling me that I'm a manupulative person who wants to harm others simply because I disagree with your view of reality.
 
T

terri

Guest
Excuse me, but do I not know you.

Well I do not now.

Excuse me once again, I do not mean to offend, but could you rephrase that. The singular post about the Gaslighting. Why have you taken offence, when it is a perfectly valid point?

And do you mind if I ask you a singular simple question. Why are you backing out of mental health when you are a voice hearer yourself, and why do you take exception to the spiritual points of view?

And may I ask please why you want to friggin well slash a man's throat when you get older because you are insanely inattentive to what are the obvious facts, and they are thatČ

no I am not a liar, I am an insane mentally ill retard of the worst kind because I can't get through onto this site under any circumstances to put a salient point of view.

and neither am I unwell, so do not need any treatment whatsoever, other than for the awesomely bad case of trapped wind I have which is caused by the simple fact that those who are over from the otherside, cause lots of juices in my mouth, and cause me to taste things that I have not eaten, to smell perfumes and pongs which have wafted under my nose through no faults of my own, and from different sources, which are not in the house from other human beings, or when I am out shopping, as is happening now, because I smell Sanctuary.

Do you know that I am frippin well working my way for those who h ave committed suicide through being diagnosed as schizophrenic because I was insecure in my beliefs that there were truly awful devils, demons, black evil ones and that they were controlling all white spirits, and taking over all swirls of the worl.

And swirls of the worl are literally every person's aura, and somehow every single person I know around me, ends up with rather a l ot of bad spirits who somehow want to cause the person who knows me to attack me. Et al oh Calfellows, we are im.

And so on and so forth and what I suggest you do, for you are so so obvious for the study is that you do go keep on posting for you have fire in your belly about something other than the spiritual and gas lighting is a trigger point for those who are evil from over the otherside, who attacks ordinary persons, and sometimes they just, because of their ill treatment through the mental health care system, which is absolute crap in our country (so sorry for the facts I now offend you, so do not mean to be offensive) commit themselves to an awesomely vile death, through taking too many paracetomols, and or by hanging.

Not a nice subject I know, but you know someone who has been there. Most probably as you were a trainee nurse for the pszchiatric? As so have I, the times when I did a miraculous recovery through God, and that was Gospel, the day when I did no more than say to the violent nurse who wanted to pin me down and insert a needle through my jeans on my face, and yes, not even behind locked doors this time, and what I said was 'you lay a finger on me and I go through lawyers and I go report you for physical/mental abuse'. So now you know why I am so fired up myself to help those who are wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia and/or other rather insane ideas of what mental illness is. Gospel, I could kill those with my own bare hands, those people who say this.

You are schizophrenic, you have no hope in life without a continual dose of tablets for the rest of your life. You know something, that happens more and more frequent these days. You know something else, all doctors get great kick backs from their prescriptioons. Monetarily that is. Do you know that it is perfectly possible to hear voices from dead people from other the otherside, and also have visions at the same time, and that it is not at all what you call it through your lack of continuation of training, which was so obviously your kip back, visions. You know that now you h ear voices yourself, you may one day become a visionary yourself and because of your beliefs you will be convinced that you have pszchosis and that you will be terrified because you will feel as though have absolutely no one to tell or help you.

You know something else, darling. I get pulled off this site for expressing all world opinions. You want to tell me something about yourself such as the members of your family who do support you as a voice hearer, and may I ask you this, as a support worker of all voice hearers, and as a missionary for all people who all over the world have the condition known as imsameness, which is sort of plurals nowadays for insanities, through those books of those doctors who write them for the scary and terriyingly oh so obvious conditions and terminologies through the oldest bibles ever rewritten.

Go figure .... and fil grew a tail so long his mother cut it off to make him a dalsation, which is half spaniel and half spanihard, which is a cross between a german shepherd and a puffycat whorl. Read herodatus, through Candelese and his Queen and the tale of the Adam and Eves from zat period, and go read, Geneisis and what happened to Mary Magdelen through the new testiment and then go read the follow on from that old biblical book.

Somehow, somehwere, something rather tragic has happened throughout the world, and sometimes I wonder why I do this, for no one, absolutely no one could see the points I was trying to make, except for you.

And what do you do, for yes I was 1nicebird, and had my posts deleted for talking about our Richard chucking his fags, which means smokes, you know and what was more I apologise for nothing other than for upsetting some people who are so sensitive that to breath twice out of place would cause them to laugh their heads off or say I was insane for no other treason that I have a complete understanding of what schizophrenia is all about. And you do no believe me ...

Goes figures.

666 turned around 999, and a plus and a zero, and always misunderstood, and always completely fuming at the plain and simple fact, that no matter what I do, say, figure, write or think, and yes, there are those who are after my guts for garters now, assume quite wrongly that I belong in a mental health institution.

How long for next time. Six months? A Year? Rampton? Hell's bells, the Tower of London. The Insane Asylums of the Prisons. The dockyards of the world, for those who do not agree are on an ego trip of the worst kind and are as thick as ships. Embargoed no more, and as truly daring as I am, I dare not go and tell anyone who else I am, for I have more split split personalities, and that is to cover all my friends who were surrounded by evil spirits in the days when....

Oh Gospel, go read, and go learn and don't expect me, the expert, to be the world's teacher any longer.

Excel yourselves and the first one through to understand that no one who hears voices needs a labotomy, electrodes, incarceration, trapped with lots more evil spirits to find them, locked away against their free will, etc. etc.

And especially, especially, not the needle up the bum. Gross negligence of all human beings, why they sit chatting away about their weekends and their desires to be at home watching Cavendish Street, while I do what they were paid for and supposed to be good at. Et al. Rather a spot of Voluntary Nursing.

Ta tas, El Hambra for ever.
 
parker

parker

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
278
Location
Oregon
[
Being a voice hearer myself, and also being a person who has worked in the NHS as an advocate for people sectioned under the Mental Health Act, and as a student psychiatric nurse, I am well aware of how ill people can get.

I left my nursing course because I did not agree with how people are treated in hospital. I did not agree that medication was the only answer to people's problems, nor did I think that locking people up in a high-stress enviroment and belittling them and treating them like morons was the answer either.

But after being here on this site for a week I am beginning to think that, sometimes, hospital is the best place for some people.

From what I’ve heard about the health care system over there sucks and Terri pretty much backs it up.
And so on and so forth and what I suggest you do, for you are so so obvious for the study is that you do go keep on posting for you have fire in your belly about something other than the spiritual and gas lighting is a trigger point for those who are evil from over the otherside, who attacks ordinary persons, and sometimes they just, because of their ill treatment through the mental health care system, which is absolute crap in our country (so sorry for the facts I now offend you, so do not mean to be offensive) commit themselves to an awesomely vile death, through taking too many paracetomols, and or by hanging.
But I haven’t really heard anything good about it over here in the US either. I’m glad I never had to experience this for myself. I was able to make it through on my own. Luckily I have a strong wife that was able to help me along the way (she confesses though she almost threw in the towel)

Thanks for telling me that I'm a manupulative person who wants to harm others simply because I disagree with your view of reality.
I haven’t seen anyone here say this:confused:
 
T

ThePayingRoomate

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
41
I should probably check in more often. By the time I got back a new guy got here and stormed off before I could even reply to some fairly interesting remarks.

Given the nature of voice hearing and the very personal and powerful experiences involved he seemed shockingly dismissive of those with different interpretations. As an atheist myself, even I flirted with the possibility during the "confusion" as he called it. But he almost seems to want to change this forum to be entirely dismissive of the other side of the coin, which could be just as problematic for those seeking help or community to deal with voices as it would by being overly spiritual to people who take a more secular approach with their voices.

Wouldn't it make more sense to stick around and add to the more secular side of the discussion so that people coming from both sides can feel welcome, meet people with the same experiences and dealing with the same interpretative dilemmas, and having a chance to consider other points of views in addition to that sense of community?

Perhaps it's too late and he's long gone. Perhaps he wouldn't be able to tolerate that other side regardless. But that's my belated 2 cents.
 
Top