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Newbie and confused

M

Mlh7875

Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Norfolk UK
Hi there everyone. As the header suggests, I'm a newbie here looking for support and generally looking for others to chat to about my mental illness.

I've been treated for depression and anxiety in the past and been on and off antidepressants for years but I am still not feeling that I've made any progress.

It was just before Christmas that I discovered BPD and I am currently waiting for our mental health service to give me an appointment.

It says that I have to have at least 5 of the 9 symptoms, I can say that I have at least 8 and the 9th is still a possibility.

So, any help and an ear to listen would be truly appreciated
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
19
Location
UK
You have come to the right place! Lots of support on here. It’s a hard diagnosis to get your head around!
Hope you are coping with the wait from mental health services?
For me anxiety & depression go hand in hand with BPD. Is there anything you are particularly struggling with?
 
M

Mlh7875

Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Norfolk UK
You have come to the right place! Lots of support on here. It’s a hard diagnosis to get your head around!
Hope you are coping with the wait from mental health services?
For me anxiety & depression go hand in hand with BPD. Is there anything you are particularly struggling with?
I don't seem to be able to understand it, so then I get angry and/or sad
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
19
Location
UK
It’s really hard to understand and it’s completely natural to feel angry and sad. Have you been reading up on it at all?
 
M

Mlh7875

Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Norfolk UK
It’s really hard to understand and it’s completely natural to feel angry and sad. Have you been reading up on it at all?
I have a few audio books that are helpful. I've tried finding as much information as I can and then trying to piece it together
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
19
Location
UK
That’s good you are doing your research. I think the biggest thing is linking the BPD to your past and figuring out what is you and what is the BPD. Not worded that right but once I figured that out it made more sense to me. Going back to you saying about the symptoms, have you looked at the link between depression/anxiety and BPD? That also helped me to understand the diagnosis
 
M

Mlh7875

Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Norfolk UK
That’s good you are doing your research. I think the biggest thing is linking the BPD to your past and figuring out what is you and what is the BPD. Not worded that right but once I figured that out it made more sense to me. Going back to you saying about the symptoms, have you looked at the link between depression/anxiety and BPD? That also helped me to understand the diagnosis
Linking it to the past is fairly easy - abusive parents (physical and mental). I'm also starting to accept that the BPD/depression and anxiety all go hand in hand
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
19
Location
UK
I’m sorry to hear that, lots of people with BPD have horrible traumas in their lives.
I meant linking it to your past with your own decisions and your own choices you have made. Wether that be ending a relationship or getting into bad ones or just everyday choices you made. Almost in a way that impacts your free will if that makes sense?
 
M

Mlh7875

Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Norfolk UK
I've made so many bad calls from relationships (starting and ending) to work and friends.

I understand what you are saying, and maybe linking it to my decisions could help understand how I am where I am.

Anyway, it's just gone midnight and I guess I'd better try and get some sleep. Take care and I hope we'll speak again
 
W

WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
327
Location
UK
Hi there everyone. As the header suggests, I'm a newbie here looking for support and generally looking for others to chat to about my mental illness.

I've been treated for depression and anxiety in the past and been on and off antidepressants for years but I am still not feeling that I've made any progress.

It was just before Christmas that I discovered BPD and I am currently waiting for our mental health service to give me an appointment.

It says that I have to have at least 5 of the 9 symptoms, I can say that I have at least 8 and the 9th is still a possibility.

So, any help and an ear to listen would be truly appreciated
Hi and welcome!

Firstly I am glad you have come on to talk about this... its often the most important thing...

I have a few questions for you and hope you don't mind!

What makes you think you have the condition? I only ask because all other possible reasons for those symptoms must be ruled out before a BPD diagnosis is made. Bare in mind that some overlap with other conditions (for example, mood disorders often overlap with BPD symptoms).

Are your problems long-standing (5+ years) and in all contexts? When I say that I mean work, leisure, home, friends/family, partners etc.

What is the IMPACT of the symptoms on your daily life? Its normally the impact more than the symptoms themselves which are taken into account. For example, you can have interpersonal difficulties but unless they have caused repeated failed relationships, problems with conflicts with others etc that are chronic and impacting quality of life they may consider it not all that much of a problem.

Whilst the criteria for BPD is fairly straight forward there must be at least several examples of each of the categories that are over the lifespan for a diagnosis to be made. The actual diagnostic interview is actually quite long winded and many who initially think they have the diagnosis often don't meet the criteria because there's not enough historical context to make it formal.

Just want to give you a heads up so you don't get put off when they initially dismiss you! I have seen several people who went into an appointment thinking they would get a diagnosis only to be told they don't meet the criteria. It was very disheartening for them and they felt let down and angry. I would also say that most CMHTs will not accept someone without major impairment (at least in my area). So being curious isn't enough.

That said if you have the condition it is a good starting point to get diagnosed. Please bare in mind that the condition is massively stigmatised and you will find yourself being called attention seeking, manipulative, difficult to work with and (in the eyes of some professionals) untreatable. Just be prepared for that because, whilst it has improved in many cases, the label is still seen as a huge barrier to access services.
 
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