New to this site

[Annie]

Hi I am new to this site and have joined in the hope that I can get support/give support. I have had episodes of depression from early teens but 3 years ago I was in hospital for 6 weeks after suffering what I thought and the medics thought was a stroke with right sides paralysis and loss of speech. I had extensive physiotherapy and talked via a machine. I spent 6 months or more in a wheelchair, had nurses throughout the day taking care of me. All MRI/Ct scans revealed nothing and I was diagnosed with Conversion Disorder. Since then I suffered a major breakdown, agrophobia, PTSD and severe depression that left me hospitalised in a psychiatric hospital for a year. In hospital my PTSD got worse and all my childhood abuse came out that I had kept locked away for many years and they think the conversion took place because of childhood traumas that were hidden away in a part of my brain and that my daughter reaching the age of 8 which was when the abuse started caused the conversion. I am now very lonely, very depressed and on the verge of losing my husband, my home and possibly my children. I am so glad that I came across this website and that it has a forum for CD as I have never had the opportunity to really talk about it everyone (the experts) told me not to worry about it and the abuse has never been dealt with because of the fear of me having another conversion.

 

[Apotheosis]

Hello & to the site.

 

[jamesdean]

Hi Annie and hope that things start to look up for you from now on in keep posting JD

 

[mcintyre]

Hey Annie and welcome!

Dan

 

[Annie]

Thank you for making me feel welcome

 

[Annie]

Thank you for making me feel welcome

 

[Auntie]

Hi Annie
I'd like to give you a wee bit of pause for thought. 18 months ago I had to go and see a Specialist (yes, after 9 years of suffering) to confirm that I wasn't fit to work more than 3 hours a day. This specialist was a neurologist and you can just imagine my thoughts on that but as it turned out, instead of just being a medical consult it turned in to a 3 hour discussion of conversion disorder, but that's not what he called it. I can't remember what he called it - something to do with motion impairment because it turns out that conversion disorder is not just an "hysterical disorder" to be treated by psychologists as originally diagnosed by Freud and never questioned until recently. It turns out that yes, there is a trigger, either emotional or physical (in my case a recurring virus) and that's what causes the initial physical symptoms but the continuation, apparently, is misfiring synapses in the brain. If you're interested I can try to find the article he sent me.
Can I say that I have this illness and my depression is getting worse but I have no childhood or any other trauma (apart from a messy separation in 93) and I've had this since 1998. I have a great life now - great friends and a brilliant partner but I still get really debiltating attacks. Please, look beyond their diagnosis of child abuse and realise that there is much more to it and that it is not all your fault - for either being abused or not being able to get past it (I've done the therapy and I know, no matter what they say, they think it's you're fault for not curing yourself through talking about your past .. endlessly)
I really hope this has helped you

 

[Annie]

Thank you so much for that message it helps alot and believe you me I feel very strongly that conversion disorder or whatever the experts want to call it is more than trauma.* I recently discovered that there are neurological links between neurosis and coeliac disease and I have coeliac disease.* Its finding the right person to see I can honestly say that it has ruined my life I am now on the verge of losing my husband because of my illness (depression especially) and I feel very angry.* I would like very much if you could send me whatever it would help greatly.* Am I allowed to give you my email address?

 

[michellejf]

new to laptop, internet and forum so apologises if i do things wrong

Im michelle I live in essex. and got diagnosed with conversion disorder with panic and anxiety attacks in 2003 b4 that i had many symptoms 1st thought to be M.E. M.S. or Manic depression and obsessive complusive disorder all rolled into 1! my family were happy to know i had officially been labelled as having mental health problems. My emotional behaviour or physical inabilities had a cause and excuses were made for me but in the end i did leave my husband and my 4children live with him as he had gave up work to look after the children and me when i was wheelchair bound. When i went blind for many weeks and had2consider my 4children and 2stepsons naturally it was easier for all 6 to live with my husband but as long as i stay stable then im able2 see them all every other day as they live nearby takin them just 15minutes to walk round. i have good days and bad days and im forever questioning "what would a normal person do?" in many situations i find myself in. but this site is new to me and it's great to hear there are others with conversion disorder as i was told by professionals that conversion disorder is quiet rare but i wouldn't know if it true? just lovely to say hello and i hope we all cope better now because of this site, take care stay positive and hope to chat again

 

[Nefertiti]

hi

hello and welcome sounds like youve been through are still going through an ordeal. I too suffered childhood abuse, it can do terrible things. I know its affected my whole life. Thanks for replying on my 'introduce yourself' thread.
Speak soon take care