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New to this site but not depression

butterfly

butterfly

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2009
Messages
14
Hi.

I found this site by chance having returned from the gp's today back on anti depressants. I suffered pnd x 2 with my sons and depression since. I had come off anti depressants in 07 and have fought and struggled to stay off them since then. Today however I caved in and returned to my GP. My previous depressive episode outside the pnd was due to a death in the family and the death of my best friend within a week of each other in 06. This depressive episode has no trigger but has had repercussions already; and the suicidal thoughts are more varied and more practical in terms of the thought process I am going through daily. My GP is gonna see me for a follow up in 2 weeks. I just hope i can get through those 2 weeks. She offered counselling but I can't even talk to my hubby, how on earth could I talk to a stranger.

Anyway thx for listening
 
L

lonelyandlost

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
233
Location
Bradford
Hi Butterfly

Welcome to the forum, glad you found us :)
Well done for getting yourself back to your gp and realising that you need a little help.
Sometimes talking to an outsider is far easier that talking to a loved one. There is no way I can talk with my hubby, but have manage to talk to a counsellor :) also you have spoke to your GP.

Hope you find the support here :)
 
Emily-Rose

Emily-Rose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
159
Hey there,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you recieve the help and support you need here :)

We're all very friendly so don't be shy :) Take off your shoes and relax *passes you tea and cookies* :D

Emily.x
 
G

GrizzlyBear

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
971
Welcome to the forum. :flowers:
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Hi Butterfly! butterfly.gif
Welcome! :flowers:
welcomebadge.png
 
butterfly

butterfly

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2009
Messages
14
wow! didn't think anyone would have even posted so thankyou :)

I know this may sound a strange thing to post but I've found a tiny little something that interests me and that is this site. I have read a few posts and I feel normal for the first time in years...... well not normal cos what is normal..... but not abnormal.

Me and my head have always been taboo subjects at home; in my extended family; and with friends. So thank you for there finally being a place I can talk so long as u will listen x
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Butterfly

I'm so glad you are finding this site helpful, no one can underestimate how it feels to be understood! :)

And :welcome: from me too, as I haven't said that to you yet!
 
bluenomore

bluenomore

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2009
Messages
5,527
Hi butterfly,

:welcome: to the forums.

Sometimes it's easier to complete strangers (and take my word for it - we are strange :D)
 
butterfly

butterfly

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2009
Messages
14
Its been getting worse but today I couldn't get out of bed. I had to tho to get my children up and go to work. I tried to break it all down in to little bits.... physically get out of bed, physically walk to the bathroom and have a wash etc.... each little bit i did took so much effort in my head :( I sat at work like a robot and a few people commented on my "invisibility" and losing time (?) ..... great employee eh? my children are still at the childminders and I have come home to hibernate - I don't even have the energy to collect them.... again, great mother eh? and dh has been texting me every 1/2hr or so seeing if i'm ok, i'm not but i can't tell him why, just sent a text back "depression bad today" and he doesn't know what to say and he needs support as work is hard for him at the mo and i have nothing to give him.... great wife :( :( :( .....

Have been on the citalopram 10 days. Should I feel better soon ? Am I on a dose that's doing me no good ? I'm seeing the gp thurs, but today the thoughts of driving a large rusty nail into my left wrist has been strong :( I can even see the skin breaking and the blood trickling and the peace I feel from it. God I've never had these thoughts before. Last time it was just the desire and urge to drive my car into a huge wall down our street which I stopped before actually hitting it. This time the thoughts are stronger. :(
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Don't be so down on yourself, Butterfly. :hug:
You're trying to get better, and it takes time for the medicine to work. It's different for everyone how long it may take.
Take some deep breaths. Maybe a walk will do you good? Do you have anyone that can help you with the kids?
Good luck on thursday!
 
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