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New to this forum- Do I have BPD?

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Shanniecolexxx

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2015
Messages
1
Location
England
Hi, my names Shannie I'm 21 years old fro, Engksnd. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 12. I had been experiencing symptoms from the age of 3 but doctors put my behaviour down to attention seeking and just general bad behaviour. From a very young age I had very intense angry outbursts where I'd kick objects and hurt myself . I had CBT until I was 18 and from one assessment and one nurse she decided I no longer needed professional help yet I was kept on my fluoxetine tabkets. I am now struggling, it's not just my OCD but my horribly intense up and down moods.

I'm adopted and my biological mother, aunties and nan suffer from several mental health issues, one being BPD. About a year ago I was diagnosed with a mood disorder but was never told what, they ruled out Bipolar. I decided to investigate what I could have as I know these moods are not normal, my behaviour is not normal either. One moment I could be absolutely fine and something that can be very small in another persons eyes will affect me drastically to the extent I go into a fit of rage or I cry and get extremely down and depressed.

I hate not having something to do on the weekend and if my boyfriend is going out I fear that if I'm not there he will cheat on me or find someone better so I have to go out too and will ask all my friends until somebody agrees! My emotions are out of control and I cannot deal with it anymore. Sometimes I can be deeply head over heels in love with my boyfriend and he's in my eyes the best person in the world, the next moment I could switch and feel he doesn't love me enough or isn't doing enough for me and I could think he's the worst boyfriend in the world. I don't cope well with change or criticism and I take things very personally and often think and over analyse what's been said to me. My boyfriend often says I'm very black and White and don't see things other than good or bad. I'm very bad at making decisions because I'm scared I'll make the wrong decision so I'm very dependent on people around me. I have phoned the self referral mental health services and waiting for a call back I need help and quick.

I have had thoughts of suicide. I also used to have other ways to cope with my anxiety. Can anyone help me and enlighten me on what I'm going through at the moment? Does this sound like BPD? I know I shouldn't look into it too much but in my eyes I have a lot of BPD characteristics. I feel so bad for my boyfriend and those who have to put up with me I've even thought about breaking up with him so he can enjoy his life with someone "normal".

Thanks x
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Shannie and welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear you're going through so much, and that you have done from such a young age. I'm glad you've phoned the mental health services. Hopefully you'll get the help and support you need.

I wouldn't worry too much about a diagnosis. Just be open and tell them exactly how you're feeling and what you're experiencing.

I hope you find the forum helpful too. It's sometimes just nice to know you're not alone and can be amongst people who understand.

Take care.
 
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punkypixie

New member
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
2
Hi, I myself has just been diagnosed with BPD and though there is some relief in having an official diagnosis its not the most important thing. What is important is how you are feeling and that you are seeking help. Just be honest and open with them and you can get some support.
It sounds like you're having a particularly hard time at the minute and its natural to seek answers. It does sound like you have some characteristics of BPD, however I am not a doctor. I really hope you get the help you need sweetie. Always hear to talk if you need too.
Take care and stay safe. Rachel xx
 
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plaasmesisie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
49
Hi there
I am 44 and I am newly diagnosed although I also have experienced symptoms my entire life since I was a little girl
I am a nurse but cannot diagnose anything but I will say your behaviours and symptoms are very similar
to my own and indicate strongly that you may have BPD
These issues can of course also be attributable to many other mental disorders so make sure u are assessed by a professional
I want to let you know though that you are not alone and we on this forum are here to support you��
It is a very tough road to walk but remember you are not your diagnosis - you are a beautiful and valuable person living with a very challenging condition
Educate yourself as much as you can and reach out to people who can help you
Share your concerns with your boyfriend
If he truly loves and cares about you he will want to learn about your behaviours and how he can help u
Blessings and hugs to you
Hope you can find moments of peace
 
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