• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

New to the site just looking for people to talk to :(

Z

zamie22922

New member
Joined
Feb 25, 2015
Messages
1
I have had anxiety my whole life but 8 months ago my husband decided to up and leave me and take my 3 year old son and move 1200 miles away and leave me and my other 2 children stranded with no car not knowing a single person , drained our bank account even took the change out of my purse.
Ive never been more devastated in my whole life, i was able to ask my family for help and i got a rental car and my kids and i and our cat headed back to michigan leaving behind most of our belongings. on a half hour sleep i drove 24 hours straight, i think back on that and i dont know how i did it and im thankful to god that we got there safe because i dont even remember most of the drive :(
As soon as i got to michigan my 2 children went to my sisters, i knew i would be a mess and i didnt want them to have to suffer.
My husband immediately started giving me hope that we could work things out and i was so desperate to have my son back and be back with my husband that i didnt realize what all i was doing to myself.
I slept in a rental car a mile from his sisters house because i wasnt allowed there but so we could spend time together (it was an hour from anyone i knew) i was doing everything he asked me i was basically kissing his ass.
My anxiety and ocd is a big reason he left and i was doing anything and everything to show him that it wouldnt effect his life or my kids.
After a month we moved back in together and things went back to normal at least for him and the kids.
for me the worst had just begun...
I wake up out of a dead sleep convinced he took my son or that he is gone i never sleep good ever.
If i can drive to the store and back without crying thats a good day for me.
I will be doing fine and suddenly remember the looks of terror on my kids faces when they realized there baby brother was gone.
Or knowing my husband had put a camera in our room so he could watch to see when i woke up and know my reaction...
Having to hide my ocd and anxiety from my husband has made certain parts of it better but at the same time things are worse.
Sometimes i cant go into stores, ill just sit and stare at it and eventually leave to scared to get out of the car and that never used to be a issue with me.
I have no friends and no family i dont know if ill ever stop hating my husband for what he did or if i even want to.
I was in an abusive relationship for 9 years before i met my husband and i dealt with that better then im dealing with this.
My husband treats me great now he seems happy with how everything is and on the outside everything is awesome, but on the inside im drowning.
I see a therapist i have seen for 6 years but having no friends or family is making me feel lost and so ive come to this forum just hoping for something to help me :(
Sorry it is so long i honestly tried my best to make it as short as i could.
 
W

Waverunner

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
2,197
Welcome to the forum. Don't have anything to say about your situation but wanted to say welcome. I'm sure others will be along at some point.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
Location
under the Forum Troll bridge
I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and say I am so sorry for what you have been through, that is just awful what your husband put you through, zamie:hug:

I don't think you ought to blame your anxiety and ocd for what he did, imo it is just wrong and must have been so scary for you. Do you think you would be happier not in the relationship? And do you stay because you are worried he would take the kids again if you split up? Have you and him ever had any therapy together, to try and discuss what happened?

I hope you find the forum helpful xx
 
C

Christobel

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 6, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
South west
Welcome to the forum. Just to say I'm sorry your having such an awful life at the moment. There are some wonderful people on this forum, who I'm sure will be able to give some .friendly advice.
 
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