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Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#1
I was diagnosed with late onset bipolar disorder when I was 47 years old. I had breast cancer at the time and took citalipram for depression. Huge mistake. The doctors my husband took me to blamed my behavior on the chemotherapy and never once suggested I was bipolar. I discovered I was having a manic episode on my own triggered by the antidepressant. So I stopped taking Citalopram and believed that was the end of it. I had no idea it could happen again. Two years later another manic episode that led to a psychotic break. Once again no help in the town I lived in so a family member took me to a hospital in Nashville. I was full blown manic and psychotic and the hospital wouldn’t take me because our insurance was out of network. I had to move to another state to get treatment. In the meantime I came very close to committing suicide. My psychiatrist put me on Lamotrigine, olanzapine and Latuda. Although I don’t believe I will ever fully recover from what happened to me, I am stabilized. It’s nice to read the posts here because you understand.
 
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megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#2
Hi and welcome, to the forum a great place to be.
I also have bipolar, it took quite a long time to get the right combination of meds, I feel pretty much back to my old self now
There's always hope things do get better.
I'm in new Zealand where our public health system is free,so I always sympathise with people that have to pay for healthcare.
I am glad you hung in there
You will get plenty of support here with like minded people who know what its like to suffer from a mental illness
 
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Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#3
Thank you. I doubt this will surprise anyone, but my friends dropped me like a hot potato when I lost my mind. After we moved, I isolated myself so no friends here either. It will be nice just to share my experiences with someone who understands without my having to explain.
 
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megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#4
I have learnt after a very long time and especially recently that instead of me beating myself over friends that turn their back on me that its actually about them and its sad,it hurts but I am sure you agree we wouldn't do that to them if things were the other way around
 
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Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#5
No, we wouldn’t. I don’t know how things are in New Zealand, but here in the U.S people aren’t very compassionate when it comes to mental illnesses. Quite the opposite actually. You get treated like it’s you’re fault you’re mentally ill. Looked down on. Made fun of. Used to bother me but not so much anymore.
 
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megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#6
Wow, we are getting there in NZ in regards to mental illness, sadly stigma is still out there.
There have been a couple of campaigns in regards to informing people about depression & anxiety, well know people on TV that have suffered themselves. Sadly in NZ we have one of the highest rates of suicide in the world.
I live in a small ?county I think you would call it where we have a really good mental health service that is easily accessible. There are in other centres of the country where there are stretched resources.
In regards to other people,it could be them one day,
I had a major car crash 2 years ago, lucky to be here, I was in hospital for several weeks,I broke my neck with other injuries,anyway people would give you their sympathy, open doors for me,visit etc...yet with mental illness they shy away.
There are genuine people out there who do care and want to do what they can to help those who are struggling.
I would love to change the world in regards to mental health, maybe one day.
So yes its awesome you've joined us here on the forum,
To get support you deserve :hug:
 
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Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#7
Lol...I received the royal treatment when I had cancer. People were falling all over themselves giving me cards, gifts, emotional support etc...maybe they all thought I was going to die. I didn’t get squat with my mental illness. ☹️
 
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Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#8
Lol...I received the royal treatment when I had cancer. People were falling all over themselves giving me cards, gifts, emotional support etc...maybe they all thought I was going to die. I didn’t get squat with my mental illness. ☹️
And I’m glad I decided to join the forum. Thanks for making this old gal feel a little better tonight.
 
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megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#9
Hey who are you calling old, lol
I'm 43 but its only a number, good health and happiness is more important.
Are you looking after yourself, eating well,getting enough sleep,trying to not put too much pressure on yourself.
You would think a country like the USA would have a really good mental health services this day and age,
Its always a pleasure to chat
 
K

Kelly B

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
285
Location
Pasadena Md. USA
#10
I’m 53 and after what happened to me, feeling every bit of it. I am taking care of myself and taking those meds. When I first arrived here I was a total mess. Could barely function. And now I’m about as normal as I’m ever going to be. The mental health services here are beyond pathetic. My psychiatrist costs $200 an hour so I get decent care. He fixed me right up. Most people can’t afford that. I can barely afford it myself but it’s worth it. I have a safety net so even if I begin to spiral it will be caught early and treated. Feels good knowing that.
 
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megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#11
I am very fortunate my psychiatrist is awesome,she has gone out of her way for me.
Shes I guess a bit protective of me,its because it just took such a long time to get me back on track.
I am also on lamotrigine which worked almost immediately with my depression,then I had a reaction with my white blood cells dropping dangerously low. I was so angry the last thing thats helped and now they were taking it away.Then with the help of the countries top haemotologist we decided to put me back on it but with daily blood tests.I was one in 20,000 people this happens too. They decided because I was in good physical health that they weighed up it was for the best to try and keep me on it.
So for me my lamotrigine is like gold.
Its really good you've got a safety net,we all need that, to use it before things start to spiral.
I really do empathise with people in the US and that you have to pay for your healthcare.
A lot of us NZers don't know how lucky they are.
Even after my car crash if I was in a different country I hate to think how much all that care would cost.
It sounds like you have a good pdoc. Wow $200 to see him!! Like you say its worth it,
Thank goodness you had the funds
 
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Alladyn1919

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
66
Location
Poland
#12
I was diagnosed with late onset bipolar disorder when I was 47 years old. I had breast cancer at the time and took citalipram for depression. Huge mistake. The doctors my husband took me to blamed my behavior on the chemotherapy and never once suggested I was bipolar. I discovered I was having a manic episode on my own triggered by the antidepressant. So I stopped taking Citalopram and believed that was the end of it. I had no idea it could happen again. Two years later another manic episode that led to a psychotic break. Once again no help in the town I lived in so a family member took me to a hospital in Nashville. I was full blown manic and psychotic and the hospital wouldn’t take me because our insurance was out of network. I had to move to another state to get treatment. In the meantime I came very close to committing suicide. My psychiatrist put me on Lamotrigine, olanzapine and Latuda. Although I don’t believe I will ever fully recover from what happened to me, I am stabilized. It’s nice to read the posts here because you understand.

A warning.Olanzapine may raise sugar level and cause diabeties.Check well if olanzapine is safe for you.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
2,235
Location
hiding behind the sofa
#13
A warning.Olanzapine may raise sugar level and cause diabeties.Check well if olanzapine is safe for you.
Yes agree there have regular blood glucose done cos it does raise it. I now have T2 diabetes because of olanzapine . And keep a check on your weight cos it’s known for weight gain