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New to SAD forum, would love support

S

Solarpoweredlady

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Hampshire
Hi,
I joined this forum today to find support from other SAD sufferers.
I can predict every year that by mid October, my mood will crash. During spring and summer, I am positive and proactive with sunbeams coming out of me. I dread October. I start worrying about how my mood will be each year from the end of August.
This year has been more stressful than usual as I had a cancer scare which resulted in immediate surgery and my two year relationship with my partner ended because his adult children were jealous and behaved abominably and he chose to leave their behaviour unmanaged (fear of conflict etc). For the sake of my mental health, I withdrew from that situation and have struggled to come to terms with things. Yep! One of those years!
I use a Lumie alarm clock, a lightbox, take Vitamin D every day, get out in daylight as much as possible and try to keep myself busy with work, swimming and socialising.
My main symptoms are a prolonged low mood that can be anything from manageable to every so often suicidal. I also get bad headaches. The anxiety I get turns me into a wreck. I overthink everything, think ridiculous thoughts, hate myself for thinking that way then manage to coax myself out of it. I tend to eat a healthy balanced diet, avoid dairy and gluten etc but sometimes I have to break out and get a sugar hit.
Sometimes I go through a whole day being on the verge of tears ALL DAY. It's exhausting! I want to snap out of it but sometimes I give in and cry it out.
I had a father with Asperger's who was unpredictable and sometimes violent towards me as a child. I have experienced mild PTSD as a result and absolutely cannot watch any form of violence on TV or in films as it seems to trigger my anxiety and I get recurring nightmares. I also experienced domestic abuse from a former partner and had to rebuild my life from scratch, something I am really proud of.
I have my own home, a great career that I enjoy, lots of nourishing, loving friendships and a wonderful relationship with my mum. A lot of people comment of my strength and inspiration.
But then the SAD hits me and it truly sucks!!! I go from being an upbeat lady to a downtrodden blob in hours!
I have tried SSRIs before (Sertraline) but it made me so wired and anxious, I had to come off it. I literally didn't sleep for four days.
I wanted to know if there are any actual talking groups that I could join so I could meet other sufferers in real life. I think being social is so positive for this condition so I would welcome any suggestions.
Also, what do other members try to alleviate symptoms?
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,297
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you struggle. Hope you find lots of support.
 
C

Carolsview

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Horsham
Hi
I'm new on here, and I can sympathise with you Solapowedlady,
I suffer very serverly with s.a.d every year from Nov to end of Feb..I wouldn't be with out my SAD lamp twice daily, for an hour or more morning and evening, on top of daily antidepressants and high dose Vit d ...I'm very effected mood wise by the weather, so come darker days I'm on the floor...Hope this helps you!
 
C

Carolsview

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Horsham
Hi,
I joined this forum today to find support from other SAD sufferers.
I can predict every year that by mid October, my mood will crash. During spring and summer, I am positive and proactive with sunbeams coming out of me. I dread October. I start worrying about how my mood will be each year from the end of August.
This year has been more stressful than usual as I had a cancer scare which resulted in immediate surgery and my two year relationship with my partner ended because his adult children were jealous and behaved abominably and he chose to leave their behaviour unmanaged (fear of conflict etc). For the sake of my mental health, I withdrew from that situation and have struggled to come to terms with things. Yep! One of those years!
I use a Lumie alarm clock, a lightbox, take Vitamin D every day, get out in daylight as much as possible and try to keep myself busy with work, swimming and socialising.
My main symptoms are a prolonged low mood that can be anything from manageable to every so often suicidal. I also get bad headaches. The anxiety I get turns me into a wreck. I overthink everything, think ridiculous thoughts, hate myself for thinking that way then manage to coax myself out of it. I tend to eat a healthy balanced diet, avoid dairy and gluten etc but sometimes I have to break out and get a sugar hit.
Sometimes I go through a whole day being on the verge of tears ALL DAY. It's exhausting! I want to snap out of it but sometimes I give in and cry it out.
I had a father with Asperger's who was unpredictable and sometimes violent towards me as a child. I have experienced mild PTSD as a result and absolutely cannot watch any form of violence on TV or in films as it seems to trigger my anxiety and I get recurring nightmares. I also experienced domestic abuse from a former partner and had to rebuild my life from scratch, something I am really proud of.
I have my own home, a great career that I enjoy, lots of nourishing, loving friendships and a wonderful relationship with my mum. A lot of people comment of my strength and inspiration.
But then the SAD hits me and it truly sucks!!! I go from being an upbeat lady to a downtrodden blob in hours!
I have tried SSRIs before (Sertraline) but it made me so wired and anxious, I had to come off it. I literally didn't sleep for four days.
I wanted to know if there are any actual talking groups that I could join so I could meet other sufferers in real life. I think being social is so positive for this condition so I would welcome any suggestions.
Also, what do other members try to alleviate symptoms?
I have left a post on this forum for you.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,714
Location
Lancashire
I don't have SAD but I do have bipolar and understand the level of anxiety and pain of depression. Just because the SErtaline didn't work, there is no reason other meds might not. I had to try at least 6 before I got the right one. If you don't sleep you might like to suggest Mirtazepine to the doc as it is taken in the evening and helps with sleep. I am on it after trying everything. SSRIs did nothing for me and I understand they can cause the symptoms you experienced.

As for organisations that have SAD sufferers in them, there is only trying on the internet to find one. I don't know of one personally. Sorry about that.
 
S

Solarpoweredlady

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Hampshire
Hi
I'm new on here, and I can sympathise with you Solapowedlady,
I suffer very serverly with s.a.d every year from Nov to end of Feb..I wouldn't be with out my SAD lamp twice daily, for an hour or more morning and evening, on top of daily antidepressants and high dose Vit d ...I'm very effected mood wise by the weather, so come darker days I'm on the floor...Hope this helps you!
Hi! Thank you for your post! Knowing other people are in the same boat makes us all feel less alone. It sounds like you have got some good strategies in place. I have bitten the bullet and realised I will need a low dose of antidepressants at the start of every October until February, much like you. If I don't have that support, I can feel suicidal. The October weather has been particularly awful this year too which makes things worse for us!
Hope you are starting to feel a bit better and let's keep our fingers crossed for sunnier days this winter.
 
C

Carolsview

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Horsham
Hi! Thank you for your post! Knowing other people are in the same boat makes us all feel less alone. It sounds like you have got some good strategies in place. I have bitten the bullet and realised I will need a low dose of antidepressants at the start of every October until February, much like you. If I don't have that support, I can feel suicidal. The October weather has been particularly awful this year too which makes things worse for us!
Hope you are starting to feel a bit better and let's keep our fingers crossed for sunnier days this winter.
Thanks for your Reply, yes the weather has made my sad come earlier this year, if I didn't take the measures I take I would be admitted to a mental health unit for my own safety, I've never let it get that bad tho, but it is real scary. I have been on antidepressants now for 19 years, I take them all year round, but still this dreadful SAD..fortunately the light lamp works well for me. Please don't feel bad u need the antidepressants to get thro, they helped me in the earlier years, see how you get on! 🌝
 
S

Solarpoweredlady

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Hampshire
Thanks for your Reply, yes the weather has made my sad come earlier this year, if I didn't take the measures I take I would be admitted to a mental health unit for my own safety, I've never let it get that bad tho, but it is real scary. I have been on antidepressants now for 19 years, I take them all year round, but still this dreadful SAD..fortunately the light lamp works well for me. Please don't feel bad u need the antidepressants to get thro, they helped me in the earlier years, see how you get on! 🌝
Yes it is very scary how our brains can crumble so easily, all because of hormonal and chemical changes. I really feel for you being scared of being admitted. When I've felt desperate like that, I've almost felt that scenario was not too far away for me either. At least I have always been proactive in reaching out for help because the change in my usually sunny personality can be dramatic and I know it's not me, it's just my brain chemicals.
Just being part of a community is powerful. We can help each other. If you have a bad day, please feel you can reach out to me because I will know exactly how you're feeling 🤗
 
C

Carolsview

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Horsham
Yes it is very scary how our brains can crumble so easily, all because of hormonal and chemical changes. I really feel for you being scared of being admitted. When I've felt desperate like that, I've almost felt that scenario was not too far away for me either. At least I have always been proactive in reaching out for help because the change in my usually sunny personality can be dramatic and I know it's not me, it's just my brain chemicals.
Just being part of a community is powerful. We can help each other. If you have a bad day, please feel you can reach out to me because I will know exactly how you're feeling 🤗
Thank you ☺🙋🏼🙏🏻🌷
 
J

Jrchmn

Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
5
I think the groups just aren’t out there. Even SADA has folded. The trend now is to lump seasonal in with other kinds of depression.
 
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