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New to here but not new to mental health

V

vegemite

New member
Joined
May 9, 2009
Messages
2
Hi,
I'm vegemite, I just thought I would say Hi. I have had depression on and off, mostly reactive, over the years. Last serious bout started in October- I was trying to fix a marriage that I couldn't, and tried to end it. Soon after I found out the reasons- my husband was having an affair.

After 14 years, I found myself as a single mum of a four year old. Her dad is great with her, he sees her twice a week. I feel so alone and everytime i pick myself up and get stronger something knocks me back. I still work after having three months off but when my little one is at school and i have a day off, or when she is with her dad, i hide under the duvet. I guess I would liken myself to a robot in that respect. I am "on" when my little one is here, but close my eyes and switch off when she isn't. It has been a difficult divorce and the latest is the "other womans" husband has tracked me down to try to get to them, and threatens to hurt my husband- my little girls dad.

I do have good support and my friends are angels. I also have a practice mental health nurse I see, and my gp is lovely.

I am on 60mg/ day flouxetine, nitrazepam when needed, and was on diazepam as well but have stopped that (unfortunately replaced by smoking!)

I do have the ability to get "projects" going like decorating or planning a trip, and get on a real high about these then burn out and go low again- my current worry is keeping the mortgage on for the sake of some stability for me and my little girl. I am lucky my job pays quite well but it doesn't look like I can take on all of the mortgage myself.

I just want everything to be normal, why does this happen to people?

vegemite
 
D

Dollit

Former member
I think normal (for me anyway) is when you get to travel a route through life that does as little damage as possible.

Divorce is difficult when there's kids involved and it's not exactly a picnic without them. It seems to be made extra difficult some days.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though - I saw it once and took a photo of it just to remind myself it wasn't really a train.

Glad to see you here and you couldn't have found a more supportive place.
 
V

vegemite

New member
Joined
May 9, 2009
Messages
2
thankyou dollit!

it is such a difficult thing to go through and I am wised up enough to seek help where I need it, so when I have those dark thoughts, or start making plans, I know to reach out- hence coming on here. thankyou so much
x
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,624
Hello Veggi

Welcome - Hope you find support here - I am sure you will.
Hope things work ok better for you soon
KS
 
nickh

nickh

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2008
Messages
1,428
Location
Birmingham UK
Hi and :welcome: to the Forum - hope you can find some support and encouragement here.

Nick.
 
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