New to group, issues with recovery.

B

Boomcar

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Texas
#1
Hey Everyone,
My name is Blair, and I am a 35 year old married woman with BPD. My husband has Aspergers Syndrome (ASD), and has trouble expressing and identifying both his and others emotions. He is a very loving, supportive, and sweet guy that always wants (and tries) to help, but I feel that having BPD I tend to need emotion support daily.

I feel angry, ashamed, embarrassed that I always need his support, his help calming down, his tales etc to feel better. It's also hard that if I dont ask for help, he often will assume I am fine (he has trouble understanding body language and emotion intensity). Since my emotions are so intense, I feel I am always having to ask for help. It makes me feel guilty, worry he will leave me, anger I'm effected with BPD and need help so often, ashamed I'm not well, and embarrassed that everyday I need support.

I am in the process of my DBT training, but basically got so ashamed and embarrassed that I even need it that I stopped doing it.

Is it normal to feel so negative after diagnosis (mine was a month ago)? Should I not feel all those things about needing help daily?
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
126
Location
California, USA
#2
Hi Boomcar!

It is not shameful or embarrassing to seek help. In fact, I find it admirable and courageous that you are taking steps to take care of yourself! You damn well deserve to be happy and live a thriving life; mental illness is hard to live with! There will always be people who won't fully understand mental illness. I try not to get mad or feel like my illness is any less important when others don't understand my daily struggles. I'm actually happy that they don't understand what having a mental illness is like; they're lucky! When I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I didn't realize how serious it was until several years later. I used to think having an illness was "special" and made me unique, so it didn't bother me much. I just lived everyday with my anxiety as if it were normal. Fast forward to the future, I realized how much GAD affected my life in a negative way. I was always in denial and even thought that I could cure myself of GAD, but then I decided enough was enough, and decided to seek help because I couldn't do it on my own. So, you're not alone! Many of us on the forum are seeking help! It's ok to feel what you feel, but also know that it's ok to seek help! We all need help in one way or another!

-Reverie
 
Chai_tea

Chai_tea

Member
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Messages
14
Location
London
#4
Hi Boomcar,

I’m new here as well and I felt the same way as you when I was diagnosed. Unlike you I wasn’t brave enough to admit I need help or get support. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed for getting the help you need, you’re a very strong responsible person for doing that.