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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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TheSunWillShine

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
1
Location
England
Hi everyone,

I'm a little anxious being on here. It feels scary opening up to you all! I am feeling ashamed of my behaviour today. It's not serious SH that draws blood, but I know I am still disrespecting myself in what I do. I am hoping the signs of my SH don't show up on my face as I have a work meeting tomorrow. This will make me find an excuse not to go or I'll feel even more ashamed. I am annoyed at myself and feel even more self-loathing because I havn't acted on SH in about 5 weeks. I really thought my mental health was getting better. But my bf helpfully described recovery is more a wiggly line than a straight one. I usually have impulses to take unpleasant emotions out on myself- most often what feels like anger. I can't seem to control this sometimes- it's like I get taken over by someone else/another part of me I can't control and before I know it in a split second I have self-harmed. Sometimes I will try to take out my feelings on something external as opposed to myself- I've successfully broken a mobile, my work laptop and a glass water bottle. Perhaps I need a punch bag?! If I wasn't so self conscious about the thin floorboards and the landlady above me, I'd scream a lot more into my pillow! I have managed to take myself for a run when I feel like this a couple times (really hard), but the endorphins only offset the impulses for a short time. Living with my bf can be triggering, where old patterns surface from an old unhealthy relationship. My self-worth is so low. I can't feel happy for my bf or anyone around me, feel totally demotivated for work (have had to take a mental health day today) and uninterested in everything. I feel like a fun sponge. I am looking to find a therapist as I'm worried my mental health will jeopardise my relationship. Thank you for listening!

My thoughts are with you all... sending virtual hugs :)
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,700
Location
Canada
I'm a little anxious being on here. It feels scary opening up to you all! I am feeling ashamed of my behaviour today. It's not serious SH that draws blood, but I know I am still disrespecting myself in what I do. I am hoping the signs of my SH don't show up on my face as I have a work meeting tomorrow.
the only difference between a "strong" person and a "weak" person is the strong person has learned how to believe in themselves. its this belief that makes them strong. and once they are strong they can succeed in life so much faster and easier. and then they use that success to believe in themselves even more. once with upward feedback loop starts they are flying through life like superman.

the opposite can happen to. when someone a kid or teen something might happen which blocks their ability to believe in themselves. maybe they have acne or are overweight or teased at school or abused by parents etc.... it can be anything. and it blocks their ability to believe in themselves. then they loose their inner power. and without that inner power life is a struggle. they end up failing more because of that and it just serves to block their ability to believe in themselves even more.
 
Passionflower

Passionflower

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2011
Messages
2,109
Location
UK
Hiya, welcome to the forum! :)
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
7,747
Location
Teesside
Hi and welcome to the forum!
You should find it friendly and supportive here
Hugs
Fox
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
75
Location
Ohio
Welcome:) Definitely talk to us or look at the alternatives when you feel like SH, there are really good suggestions and talking about how you’re feeling always helps!
 
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