New to forum, CTO

[AAGille93]

Hello, I’m new here!
been wrongly diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic by my psych. I believe he is part of wider conspiracy to harm me with illegal “psychiatric drugs” but here comes the dilemma .. he’s put me onto a community treatment order under the mental health act. I’ve been to tribunals and haven’t won them as they say I lack insight into my condition and “require the legal framework”. I am forcibly injected each month with 405 mg of olanzapine. Reluctantly take the injection. They won’t give me tablets as they say I won’t take them ... they say my medication isn’t working and I’m still flouridly psychotic ( I’m not I just know there evil plans to posion me) but they have to wait for a month before they can put me onto clozapine..
Does anyone know how I can get off my cto and stop the conspiracists and supposed mental health teams from poisoning me with illegal drugs...
Sorry for the rant, any help is appreciated . I have recently come out of hospital having been in for 12 weeks..

 

[Mayflower7]

Hi,
Many of us have doubted our diagnosis's, all you can do is ask your GP for a second opinion.
However it can be hard to accept a diagnosis when you lack insight.
When your feeling better you will be taken off the CTO.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
I thought I was been poisoned and I have paranoid schizophrenia.
Here to listen.
Take care

 

[AAGille93]

Thankyou mayflower, my GP is in agreement with my psychiatrist and I’ve already had a second opinion done as I doubt the diagnosis, I feel like there using ‘psychiatric drugs’ to posion me.. they say I lack insight into my condition..

 

[FadeToBlack]

If this is what you want you have to pay them lip service. It's the only way out to prove yourself able to take the meds and not let them know what you really think.

Yesterday for example my case manager phoned me and asked all the usual 'are you a threat to others, are you going to hurt yourself and are you feeling safe'. I told her I knew her game and wouldn't answer her questions. She even said that she will contact my mum even though I withdrew consent, because I am a threat to her apparently... These people are deluded in thinking they're helping you, and will do anything to 'help'.

Your story makes me very cross. I know how you feel when absolutely everything you say falls on deaf ears. I really hope you can come to terms with the CTO and make the situation where its not needed anymore. I really do.

 

[nightmare57]

FadeToBlack is right you need to play lip service. Everything you say will be used against you, even the things you don't say will be used against you.

I have been on a CTO since 2011. Renewed every six months if I've been sectioned then its renewed yearly for the whole year. I believe there is a conspiracy against relating to multiple agencies, I'm not going to go to much into it as they are probably monitoring all my computer traffic.

I pretty much don't have any control of my life anymore. They have stripped my financial responsibility from me, forced depots where if I'm noncomplient they recall me and get the police to take me to hospital, this only happened 3 weeks ago where 4 officers come to my home address to force me to hospital. I'm pretty much monitored 24/7 by support staff.

The worst thing is the more you protest that there is a conspiracy against you the more they can say you're mentally ill so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[ThingsiExplore]

I've been on a Community Health Order 6 times. It feels awful, but it really is the right thing to do. My sister took her own life shortly after being released from the hospital. If they had forced her to stay, she would still be alive today.

As far as meds go, they are not poison. Some have undesirable side effects, some don't. I take 120mg Latuda, and it really quiets things down. I feel like i can think again. No side effects on this one. I also hear good things about Abilify... But it didn't work for me.

In closing... Your safety and the safety of others around you is paramount. They held you because they care and are being responsible.

Good luck to you! Remission is possible! I was symptom free for 8 years and only had a relapse because i stopped taking my meds.

 

[Coast2]

Hi AAGille and

I do hope you are feeling better soon. I think Mayflower is spot on - it is very difficult to accept a diagnosis when you lack insight. I didn't believe my diagnosis initially which is paranoid schizophrenia.

Maybe you could try reading about the illness to try and understand your mental health team's point of view? My Pdoc suggested I read about the illness. When I did so I understood why I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My sincere best wishes

 

[AAGille93]

Thankyou for the replies... turns out I’m back in hospital they’ve revoked my cto.. back to being on my section 3 😰 so 13 weeks later on I’m still in hospital ... they’re trying to treat me with clozapine but I’m really not keen on it.

 

[Super_cobra90]

The way to get off your treatment order, would be to think about your situation practically.

Now, you think that there is a conspiracy, but if you consider, even if you are right, if you challenge the psychiatric system, then you are giving them evidence to enact control of you. So even if you are right, the wrong thing is to behave in a way that gives them evidence.

If you want off the control situation, point blank, the only way is to be aware that time is transient, things move on, and you need to play ball with fucking everybody for enough time before you get a break.

Now, even if you think they are fucking with you, you know how to behave like that isn't the case.

And in practical terms, even if they are doing this, they are obviously too powerful to challenge because they have taken your control away from you, so your best chance is to learn to coexist with a more powerful force.

Because really, these people don't matter. Your life being the happiest it can be is the real goal.

And the more you act normal, the less you need to deal with these people that are fucking with you.

 

[fazza]

It is really hard to act normal but when we loose our insight what is normal?

To me normal is having voices telling me that I am evil also telling me that I am being poisoned.

Reasoning is really hard and it is impossible to act normal when we are ill.

 

[Super_cobra90]

Yeah true. Fair point.