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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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MarieRose

MarieRose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
106
Location
England
I put myself on a dating site a few months ago and about three weeks ago someone I liked messaged me.We have exchanged messages for about three weeks about five conversations,short one in all.After my last message to him he hasn't replied,I think I've turned him off talking about doing housework and my ill health I must have come across as unfit and boring.Part of me is relieved cos I don't have much experience courting and to be honest I feel insecure and inadequate.He was nice but I didn't think he would hold interest in me,and I am 57 next year and not in good health.He knows I have chronic illness and a depressive disorder.I am not too upset if he's dropped me.I did like his pic and how he spoke to me but we both agreed from the beginning we might not get together because of the distance,he livs 63 miles away.At least I know now not to come across as too domesticated and not to go on about my ill health.As I am not experienced in dating can anyone who has more experience advise me on how to start getting to know someone and making them interested in me?I do know how to make myself sexually attractive but am insecure about my intellectual capacity,I was badly ridiculed in the past for my intelligence.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,871
Location
Canada
Maybe you can look up some tips for dating sites? Like how to present yourself in a good light, I dunno, never really used them.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,058
Location
Somewhere
Hi @MarieRose

First of all, good for you that must have been nerve racking. I think you are putting this on yourself too much. From what I have read, it is very common for someone you meet on these sites to just stop messaging back. I think it is a part of it that you just need to accept happens.

I am sure that housework and illness is not all you discussed, but in the beginning you could focus more on what you enjoy. At the same time I get you want to be open about who you are, and that is important too. So I would say just keep a balance between the mundane points in your life which we all have by the way so it shouldn't put anyone off. And the lighter side, like reading, tv, hobbies etc. If the person you are chatting to gets put off by the daily aspects of your life, then so be it. The last thing you want is to feel like you have to keep some sort of charade up in order to keep their interest.
 
A

Am33

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 28, 2020
Messages
382
Location
Fiji
Maybe after covid is over join some clubs like book clubs .church clubs , art classes wine tasting etc.. can meet people that way too . Meantime do some positive affirmations for women (on net ) everyday will help you overcome your limiting beliefs about yourself . 1964 you are a classic like me :cheers: put on your dating profile you do house work and cook ! and you will be fighting off men's proposals ;)
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
I don't think you did anything wrong by mentioning those things. It's part and parcel of your life, if he has a issue with it, maybe better you found out sooner rather than later. He might still message you back... Hope this helps :)
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,280
Location
Canada
I think I've turned him off talking about doing housework and my ill health I must have come across as unfit and boring.
and if a meteor crashes into the earth tomorrow then it must be your fault right?

who knows why he hasnt responded. there could be a million reasons

but yes, as a rule, when socializing you should try and keep it more positive. talk about good things, fun things, happy things, pleasurable things. and stay away from religion, politics, and illnesses until later.

the worse life is the more positive we need to be in order to deal with it
 
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