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new relationship

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riverofdragons

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
274
I am at the very start of a new relationship and although I have shared the basic fact that I suffer from depression, I don't really know how to tackle certain subjects, such as self harm and psychosis.

I want to be open and honest about my illness, but at the same time dont want to scare him off. I need to find a balance between feeling like i am being deceitful and giving him all the gory details, causing him to run a mile.

Any advice would be gratefully received.
 
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Eclipse

Guest
Hello
Im not the best qualified here and only joined a few weeks ago ,I would urge you to relax nobody expects everything immediately you have said about your Depression just go with it im sure he will have things to say to you as the relationship grows the time will be right and if Love does blossom then there will be no problem just follow your Heart and how you feel.
Goodluck
Eclipse
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I'm always quite up front about things but then I usually end up in relationships with men that I've known for a long time and they know already. I've found that when I've told someone about my self harm and bipolar even at the beginning of a friendship it's usually a case of explaining it and then carry on.

I've just had a very brief relationship that came out of a friendship and he is quite sure that it didn't work because of my "issues" when actually it was his issues.

Everyone has baggage, it's just that some of it is more visible than others.
 
E

Eclipse

Guest
Hello
I do agree we all have issues and the dreaded baggage,by far i believe the romance from friends is a great way to go but i will say in my own rather dismal experience in relationships on three occasions it has caused me to lose some really good friends that i could really talk to as the friendship really does change for me to much and gets awkward.
Perhaps your last partner really didnt understand your conditions at all and if he had issues himself as we all do it was a bit to much but very good luck in the future
Eclipse
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Kinda similar circumstances

Hi, I had a friend who I met through befriending work. We got on well and I gained his trust and the idea of this work is two people with emotional problems support one another and enjoy activities they coulden't possibly do on there own. We had a few drinks and I diden't have my medicine that night, so towards 1:00am I started to get ill, he kept pressuring me to tell him my problems and that he was there to support me. He convinced me not to call 'The Home Treatment Team', and tell him my condition.
The next day he told all the mental health specialist he diden't want to know me and that I was a danger to people. Everyone in the profession cannot convince him otherwise.
I know it is not quite the same situation, but I just wanted to give you an example of how careful to be, people get scared with things they don't understand.
Nobody knows the right time to tell someone these things because they have to know eventually, I thought it was the right time, who was to know?
Remember if they are truly mature and reponsible they will listen and understand.
I wish you well, good luck. :flowers:
 
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