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New relationship, having trust issues



New member
Dec 8, 2018
Hi all,

Apologies if this isn't the right section to post in, wasn't sure where else this would fit.

Basically, I've been looking after myself pretty well, I was off to a bad start at the beginning of the year, but I've managed to tackle a few problems and really get myself back on track. I've been feeling great.

However, recently, I have gotten into a relationship. At first it was all fun and I was really excited, new job, a new relationship finally after 2 years, what could go wrong? Well...

Everything was going fine until yesterday. I received a text saying that he had finished his shift and was doing some Christmas shopping. He then proceeds to tell me that his "friend" decided to give him some free stuff which basically means he stole items from quite a pricey store. (His friend works there and basically allowed him to steal). He was boasting about it and saying he wouldn't get caught and whatever but I called him out saying that it was completely inconsiderate as people work hard to earn money and purchase items at that price. Not only that, but the amount of work you've now forced upon those poor employees if they find out you've stolen items.

He then proceeds to change his story claiming that they were "stolen legit" (I have no idea what that means, stealing is stealing!) and he decided to put them back straight after as he "felt bad." I know it seems like such a dumb thing to freak over but I'm not one for breaking the law, I just think it's ridiculous and I don't know why you'd put yourself in that position!

Upon seeing that this guy is now stealing stuff out of stores, I then looked a little bit further into his social media (I know I shouldn't and I'm just as bad), but I found a few things.

He told me that he'd been single for 3 years, but oh wait, his profile says he's been single for 6 months. His pictures of him and his ex are still plastered all over his profile (I added him a while back but didn't really look that far into his profile). This has now left me a little bit insecure and to be honest I'm not quite sure how to approach this, I've definitely lost interest but want to give him the benefit of the doubt as he does seem like quite the attention seeker. He doesn't drive, yet he's posting stuff on car pictures like "Oh my car goes 80mph in 3rd gear" or "I wanna drive faster but I run out of road." As I said, he doesn't drive, so why he's posting it I'm not sure? I know he likes cars but seems a bit strange how he's posting stuff like that.

I think it's me overthinking everything but I wanted other people's opinions from an outside prospective to see what you think. And if you have any ideas on how to approach this, please share. I don't know what to do. I've been fine up till now and don't want a silly issue like this to make me crumble again!


Well-known member
Jan 5, 2011
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. I think he sounds like a problem! I agree with you about stealing and couldn't abide that in a partner, not to mention that he might get caught. If he brought the stuff home then you are an accessory too and that is NOT acceptable. He fantasizes about cars and driving them when he can't drive? Sounds bizarre to me.

I can't tell you what to do but I would follow my instincts on this one and see what they tell you. If you aren't sure you want to be with him, then listen to that little voice and think about it. You aren't over thinking it, you are worried about the lies and fantasies he is creating. I would think long and hard about this personally. Maybe have it all out with him and see what he says. Nothing wrong with looking at a person's profile in my opinion.