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new partner could have depression.

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alison123123

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2017
Messages
2
Hi,

I started a relationship with my boyfriend in October, and things started to move very quickly. He was staying with me everyday and we decided that due to this it would be best to move in after Christmas .In the three or so weeks he has lived with me he has seemed very happy. As with any new living relationship there have been a few arguments but nothing untoward.

On Monday this week, he was extremely cuddly and was questioning why I was with him. We cuddled and I explained that I love him very much, we have so much fun when together and I didn't want to be without him. I asked if he was ok as he didn't look well and he said he was tired. On Tuesday he still wasn't right so I suggested taking the day off.

On Tuesday I received a text to say he has gone home to Ireland for a few days (we live in Scotland) since then I have had very little contact. I understand he went to his family where he felt safe. In the one phone call I've had he said that sitting in the house he felt like the walls were closing in around him and he had to get out. He has said that he never felt like this when single and he is at his lowest ebb, I deserve better (I said I didn't agree and he is everything I want)and he's doesn't think he's cut out for a relationship. At 35 I am his most serious relationship.

Since Wednesday I have had no contact although I have phoned and messaged him. His best friend has also had nothing despite calling and messaging.

I'm looking for advice. Should I leave him till he contacts me and hope he decides he wants to be. With me or accept that what he said is true and it's the relationship that's caused these feelings.

Thanks for any help
 
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Deadfool

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2017
Messages
66
Location
Ireland
Hi Alison,

If this is his first serious relationship then it's moving incredibly fast and he probably just became overwhelmed. Living with someone is huge, I was with my wife over two years before we moved in together and we almost killed each other for the first six months or so.

At this stage you barely know each other so it's a bit of an overload.

If I were you I'd keep in touch, send messages but keep them light. Tell him how your day went but don't put any pressure on him.
 
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alison123123

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2017
Messages
2
Thank you for the advice, as you say we don't really know each other. All I know from his friend is that it isn't out of the ordinary for him to disappear.

I'm trying to send a message a day letting him know I'm here or asking how he is, but there is no reply from him. This leads me to think he doesn't want that and his mind is made up.

However, this also doesn't add up as even last weekend we were making plans for the summer and he said he was happy. I'm confused as to how it can change so quickly. Before I left on Tuesday he was asking if we could cuddle some more.
 
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