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New on here and having some struggles



Jul 31, 2015
Im not really sure where to start. Since i was 11 i was diagnosed with ocd and it just got swept under the rug, it didnt really become an issue again until my late teens and then came the anxiety and depression and my fear of throwing up. I was put on zoloft and still am on it but i have also for the past 5 years become dependant on alcohol. I was in the hospital for awhile cause i just couldnt eat for the fear of throwing up... so now to date my mom was just diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and im teying so hard to stay for her but im falling apart. I cant sleep im so moody i cant eat again cause now i feel its a physical thing where the food gets stuck... i just dont know how to fix myself or my mind .... i want to be able to go out again and enjoy life not sit at home and panic whats wrong with me... im just doing the bare min to get by and its no way to live.
Thanks for reading


Well-known member
Oct 13, 2011
Hi Heidi, welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about your mother. I have OCD too. When I'm being constantly bombarded by the obsessive/intrusive thoughts I feel like I'm fighting a full-scale war in my mind.

There is a book that helped me a few years ago - Overcoming Obessive Compulsive Disorder by David Veale and Rob Willson. I borrowed a copy from my library and it really helped. If you have the kindle app you can get it from amazon. Also, have you tried mindfulness meditation? I think there are a lot of benefits to practicing meditation, particularly for people with OCD.

You're going through a traumatic time at the moment, it's perfectly natural to feel panic. This may sound basic, but please allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling. Try accepting it - that it's okay to feel whatever it is you're feeling right now.

If you try to picture an endless sky, the clouds are the thoughts - these will pass through your awareness if you observe them without reacting to them. You are not the thoughts but the observer of them. Once you begin to notice this you can start to put some distance between yourself and your thoughts, and their power over you will gradually diminish. That's the idea, anyway.

Hope this helps. Good luck Heidi and best wishes.