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Talula67

Talula67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
117
Location
United Kingdom
Hi
Thank you for letting me join this group. I am in the midst of a deep depression that I cannot shake and the mood swings are horrendous.

I really don't want to be like this but feel I'm losing the will to live.

Sorry it's a negative post but reaching out for help.

Thanks
 
W

Wantingtolearn67

Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Hi,
I joined today and I’m brand new to this too... can I ask where ur depression stems from? What is the background?
I feel I need to vent and let it out.. as I am deeply depressed over my situation.. married w kids living a very unhappy relationship:( lots happened over the years but bottom line is I know I need to leave and the guilt is killing me. Literally every day. I wake up and have to take a lorazepam already..... that calms me down a bit. I’m on an antidepressant and HRT already and in full blown menopause which is already my big awakening. 54 and feel like everything is falling apart.... if it wasn’t for the guilt and fear of my girls.... and me being alone, I would have done something already. I know this is very unhealthy for me to stay. But I’m trying to strengthen myself and then do what I have to do....
Sorry. Very sad tonight ... and the quarantine and not being able to see my friends puts me over the edge.
thank u for reading... any input will help.
love
 
Talula67

Talula67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
117
Location
United Kingdom
Hi
Pleased to meet you. I have depression running right through my family. Both parents. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was in my 20's and have been on antidepressants, first for Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder and then periodically depressive episodes ever since and throughout my life. It is horrendous living with this and my relationships have always been effected due to the nature of BPD which I am studying more about lately.

I had a hysterectomy due to a melon sized fibroid having to be removed when I was 40 and I'm 53 now and been in menopause and on estrogen replacement which stops night sweats but depressive episodes more frequently of late.

Hope this helps and we can help each other get well and stay well for longer.
 
W

Wantingtolearn67

Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Talula, so glad to hear from you! That is tough when the depression runs in your family on both sides... my mom had it but I never gave it a second thought until recently.. now I know what she went through... it’s awful.
for the mood swings and deep bouts of depression I try and walk a lot.. at the same time that is my socialization thruCOVID. I schedule my walks w friends and have one on the calendar every day. Best when the sun is out. That seems to help w my mood a bit too. Are you doing therapy? I have a therapist and she pushes me quite a bit... great sessions where you have great aha moments! I am sure u have done that too. What med are u currently on? I am asking I am on Pristiq. I feel not everything is working for those what I call mini panic attacks.... deep bouts of depression etc. ups and downs,.. a lot of it related to menopause.... I still need a lorazepam here and there. Very frustrating.. but also know there is an under.ting issue... always
And I know I will have to address..
Let’s keep in touch if u want to write more or just vent or let it out.
much love to you
Xo
 
Talula67

Talula67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
117
Location
United Kingdom
Morning
I am feeling rather anxious this morning as I had a bad vivid dream and it has stayed with me, the feeling.

My medication is Sertraline 200mg daily, amitriptyline 30mg nightly. Premarin 0.625mg daily.

I am not currently seeing a therapist ATM as to be fair I have been coping (or so I thought) but I have had numerous different ones in the past. I do feel I need to ask for another referral at my next review.

How are you feeling this morning and did you sleep well? I have just seen you are in a different time zone. I am in UK.
 
Beorn the Bear

Beorn the Bear

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2020
Messages
266
Location
Murkwood
Welcome to the forum. You'll find good support and understanding here 👍
 
W

Wantingtolearn67

Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Morning
I am feeling rather anxious this morning as I had a bad vivid dream and it has stayed with me, the feeling.

My medication is Sertraline 200mg daily, amitriptyline 30mg nightly. Premarin 0.625mg daily.

I am not currently seeing a therapist ATM as to be fair I have been coping (or so I thought) but I have had numerous different ones in the past. I do feel I need to ask for another referral at my next review.

How are you feeling this morning and did you sleep well? I have just seen you are in a different time zone. I am in UK.
 
W

Wantingtolearn67

Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Talula, I’m in the US, north east.. did sleep well until 5am, the tossing and turning :( we are on similar meds..think the hrt is helping but the slightest thing and argument and emotion throws me off these days. Not fun way to live. This morning couldn’t take the racing thoughts any more and took a half lorazepam... hoping rest of the day will unfold better... it’s like taming a dragon every day until finally late afternoon it retreats to its cage.... I think therapy is good but it brings up a lot of issues tha5 u then feel compelled to act upon....
it’s really like u said I don’t want to be lik3 this but u cannot will ur self into normalcy....
Sorry not great this morning
Hoping u r better
 
J

Jimsy

Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Uphall station
Hi
Thank you for letting me join this group. I am in the midst of a deep depression that I cannot shake and the mood swings are horrendous.

I really don't want to be like this but feel I'm losing the will to live.

Sorry it's a negative post but reaching out for help.

Thanks
 
J

Jimsy

Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Uphall station
It's great you have the strength to speak about the curse of an illness. Thinking of you at this time
 
J

Jimsy

Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Uphall station
Hi,
I joined today and I’m brand new to this too... can I ask where ur depression stems from? What is the background?
I feel I need to vent and let it out.. as I am deeply depressed over my situation.. married w kids living a very unhappy relationship:( lots happened over the years but bottom line is I know I need to leave and the guilt is killing me. Literally every day. I wake up and have to take a lorazepam already..... that calms me down a bit. I’m on an antidepressant and HRT already and in full blown menopause which is already my big awakening. 54 and feel like everything is falling apart.... if it wasn’t for the guilt and fear of my girls.... and me being alone, I would have done something already. I know this is very unhealthy for me to stay. But I’m trying to strengthen myself and then do what I have to do....
Sorry. Very sad tonight ... and the quarantine and not being able to see my friends puts me over the edge.
thank u for reading... any input will help.
love
 
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