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New Member with a fresh diagnosis

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Missducky95

New member
Joined
Mar 15, 2018
Messages
3
Hello! 👋🏽 I’m new here and I kinda just want someone to talk to. It’s kinda long but here goes.
I was diagnosed Bipolar as a kid, but I had two doctors change my diagnosis to PTSD. Now I have a doctor that I adore and trust and she has told me that I am a classic picture of it, and I’ve begun to see exactly what she is talking about. I feel like I’m losing control of myself and my life, and I spend all day trying to remind myself that my life and I am exactly the same as I was before the diagnosis.
I am just not handling this as well as everyone thinks. I always want to cry and I am terrified that I will never be able to achieve my goals (I want to become a doctor) because of the stigma behind mental health. I feel like less of a person and like I have no control over myself. Like I have never really had control over myself. I feel like this is probably the primary reason I am getting a divorce, although I could never put my finger on it. I feel like everything is my fault...
This is all overwhelming and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it who understands where I’m coming from. I haven’t even told most of my family, and the ones that I have told act like they never heard me or downplay it. I am terrified and also mildly relieved that some of my more serious mistakes aren’t entirely my fault...
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
:welcome: to the forum. I don't have any self confidence. I have p.t.s.d. so I know how you feel. You will get lots of support here.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
Hi and welcome,

I'm not quite clear from your post if the current diagnosis is PTSD or bipolar. I know it can be a shock to get a new diagnosis, ultimately though it is just a word. It doesn't change who you are or how you are affected by it. And sometimes it is useful to have a label because it can help us to access the right treatments.

I am a healthcare professional and I have PTSD, I have colleagues with bipolar. So either diagnosis does not necessarily stop you from working in this kind of field if it is treated/well managed. Drs work very long hours in high stress environments, so that is something to consider, but neither diagnosis has to stop you doing what you want to do necessarily. For now focus on getting the right treatment and management plans in place to get as well as possible and to stay well.
 
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BrokenToy

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2018
Messages
1,312
Location
Antrim Coast, Ireland
Hello and :welcome: You've come to the right place for help, advice and support. Best wishes. I have PTSD too and can relate to what you're saying. It's a winnable war and I tell myself that each morning as soon as I wake-up. It can only beat you when you stop fighting back.
 
M

Missducky95

New member
Joined
Mar 15, 2018
Messages
3
Thank you for responding. My doctor says that I have both PTSD and Bipolar. I probably should have been more clear about that.
It’s hard because now I am seeing the cycling in my day to day life. It’s extremely fast (hours difference between racing thoughts and depression) and it scares me. I don’t know whether it’s happening this way because I know about it now and I’m looking for it, or if I am just *noticing* it because I am looking for it.
Edit: to be more clear I am wondering if I am exacerbating things mentally just because I am looking for symptoms, or if I am noticing ones that would have been there anyway. I sometimes get a little delusional about things like that.
 
Last edited:
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indigos

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2018
Messages
3
Location
Prague, Czech Republic
Thank you for responding. My doctor says that I have both PTSD and Bipolar. I probably should have been more clear about that.
It’s hard because now I am seeing the cycling in my day to day life. It’s extremely fast (hours difference between racing thoughts and depression) and it scares me. I don’t know whether it’s happening this way because I know about it now and I’m looking for it, or if I am just *noticing* it because I am looking for it.
Edit: to be more clear I am wondering if I am exacerbating things mentally just because I am looking for symptoms, or if I am noticing ones that would have been there anyway. I sometimes get a little delusional about things like that.
Hi Missducky95, I feel the same about "looking" for symptoms. Sometimes I wonder if I dont call it to myself by thinking about it...
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
Ok in that case there are some effective treatments out there for PTSD. I had something called IEMT (integrated eye movement therapy)which is similar to EMDR. It was incredibly helpful and has for the most part resolved my symptoms. I'm no expert when it comes to bipolar but I believe that medications can be effective in managing it for a lot of people. So a clear diagnosis is a good starting point for recovery.
 
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