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New Member, Seeking Advice

Z

ZombieCat

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1
Location
New Jersey
I'm an only child, late 40's. Diagnosed late with anxiety and major depressive disorder. My mother passed in 2013 and was the family glue; a part of me passed along with her.

I'm currently estranged from my Dad. Not a bad person, not a bad father, worked his whole life. Possibly undiagnosed narcissist, with some depression thrown in and just a general gruff personality. Also a bit of a pain in the arse. You like him or you don't.

I love him but it's hard to like him and of course I've trust issues now.

The issues? Snowballed incidents/realizations over the years and came to a head in 2019 when I'd a mental breakdown and ended up hospitalized.

With Holidays coming up, and Dad possibly being there, I plan on sticking to my plan of boundaries and mental "force field".

He sold my family home with no heads up, consultation, 2019. I got a freakin' email two days before it went on market.
My partner and I drove two hours and managed to get signed/numbered artwork and pictures off walls and transfer to our home. Including artwork I'd done that was going with everything in house "as is".

The entire sum went to pay off debt he accrued post-death of my Mom and wanting to live a certain way. Stayed with us (spouse and myself) with promises to help out with rent and what have but...there were other concerns/issues/my radar going off and when confronted that he really wasn't interested in helping us...I ended up in the hospital and he left and never came back.

My last vocal words to him were "I need less bullsh*t in my life". I've since sent Holiday cards to him with little notes to keep a tentative communication.

I'm sticking to my guns but I'll not forgive and forget.

Anyone else? I'm doing this to keep sanity and...I think I'm right. Am I?
 
Yetti 56

Yetti 56

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2021
Messages
285
Location
Eccles, Manchester uk.
Hi Zombiecat. welcome first to the forum, the answer to your question is only you know, Family problems happen worldwide, some families fall out and never speak again, I personally know of a close one, split a family of sisters in half due to a money dispute of a deceased parent, I do not think you will get much help here on the problem as it is very delicate and complicated when close family involved, but I do hope and pray you will find peace whatever the eventual outcome..
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8,122
Location
England
Hello ZombieCat, welcome to the forum.
 
C

chargrillwon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
549
Location
US
Hello zombiecat. Welcome and best fortune to you.
 
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