M
Mattman1983
Active member
Hello new to me forum.
I guess I had better write a bit about me here as it's my first post.
I'm Matt, I'm 26 and fron Harrogate. You could say I have had it pretty rough my whole life but it never seemed to make any lasting impression.
Five years ago my dad passed away unexpectedly and as you would imagine it hit me very hard. I drank incredibly heavily, smoked a lot of weed and was very reclusive. My GP immidiatly offered me citalopram and nothing else, I declined and gradually levelled out again and found a new job. things went well for a little while until july 2008. This was a very significant point in my life. Just after lunch at work my boss was given a stern telling off because i had followed a 'wrong instruction' given by him. so instead of taking it like he should have, the buck was passed straight on to me. I was backed into a corner and yelled at for something he told me to do for what can only be a few seconds before I realized what was going on. Before I knew what to do, I flew into a huge rage at him, real red mist stuff. I felt like I was blacked out and everything sounded like a tv in another room and I couldnt see properly. the next thing I knew I was in town in the rain... no ciggies, no jumper, no keys or phone. I only had a bit of cash so I managed to get a bus home.
Since then I have been in such a low mood, short tempered and revert back to the state where I have no control, almost as if I'm not myself. I have been on citalopram and prozac. I overdosed diliberatly on these. and on paracetamol. drank heavily again and become almost an insomniac.
I have been seeing my GP for 18 months now and no longer am allowed prescription drugs. I've been in hospital a few times. picked up by the police very disorientated after an 'episode' and seem a psychologist and community mental health worker.
I am yet to be diagnosed with anything, not been offered anything properly and the suicidal feelings are becoming more frequent.
So thats me. my problems and hopefully structured in a way you can all read. sorry its such a long first post.
Matt.
I guess I had better write a bit about me here as it's my first post.
I'm Matt, I'm 26 and fron Harrogate. You could say I have had it pretty rough my whole life but it never seemed to make any lasting impression.
Five years ago my dad passed away unexpectedly and as you would imagine it hit me very hard. I drank incredibly heavily, smoked a lot of weed and was very reclusive. My GP immidiatly offered me citalopram and nothing else, I declined and gradually levelled out again and found a new job. things went well for a little while until july 2008. This was a very significant point in my life. Just after lunch at work my boss was given a stern telling off because i had followed a 'wrong instruction' given by him. so instead of taking it like he should have, the buck was passed straight on to me. I was backed into a corner and yelled at for something he told me to do for what can only be a few seconds before I realized what was going on. Before I knew what to do, I flew into a huge rage at him, real red mist stuff. I felt like I was blacked out and everything sounded like a tv in another room and I couldnt see properly. the next thing I knew I was in town in the rain... no ciggies, no jumper, no keys or phone. I only had a bit of cash so I managed to get a bus home.
Since then I have been in such a low mood, short tempered and revert back to the state where I have no control, almost as if I'm not myself. I have been on citalopram and prozac. I overdosed diliberatly on these. and on paracetamol. drank heavily again and become almost an insomniac.
I have been seeing my GP for 18 months now and no longer am allowed prescription drugs. I've been in hospital a few times. picked up by the police very disorientated after an 'episode' and seem a psychologist and community mental health worker.
I am yet to be diagnosed with anything, not been offered anything properly and the suicidal feelings are becoming more frequent.
So thats me. my problems and hopefully structured in a way you can all read. sorry its such a long first post.
Matt.