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New job - so anxious

U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
Just applying for a new job was so difficult and brought about so much negative thoughts and anxiety.

I feel so bad about my resume which has holes in it and mostly temp jobs. Somehow I managed to send an application and they responded kind of positively. When I realized I might get the job, I got extremely anxious that I would fail. People will hate me, the coworkers will ridicule me and so on. I am still waiting to get a response. It's a temp job.

However, when I think of what I have been able to achieve before, I realize that these are irrational fears.
Or are they?
Can I even trust my own instincts anymore?

When I started writing this, I suddenly got the idea that I CAN do this:
that I only have one life and that I should face it head on and that I shouldn't hide and take the easy route by taking back my application.

Now I am having second thoughts again.
This feeling of uncertainty, that I change my mind so rapidly, is frightening. A part of me wishes I could keep my old job and just have nothing change for the rest of my life, to be safe forever, never ever leave my home even. Sounds so cowardly now when I read it. I need to explore these fears, I need to write them down so I don't act on them without thinking. Making decisions that are based on these irrational thoughts is a recipe for disaster.
Then I think about my parents who wanted the best for me and cared for me. I really want to make them proud of me, I don't want to fail them!

Sorry for writing such a long text but I really need someone to give me some feedback, I would appreciate it so, so much!
 
hicks

hicks

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
1,709
Location
A galaxy, far far away..
When I started writing this, I suddenly got the idea that I CAN do this:
that I only have one life and that I should face it head on and that I shouldn't hide and take the easy route by taking back my application.
Great attitude, hold on to that one. You can do it! Fact is, they have responded positively, so they believe you can do the job, based on your previous experience.
It's natural to have self-doubts, and question your ability to be up to the task. But you are capable, and as you say, think back to previous situations where you've coped and done a good job.
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
Great attitude, hold on to that one. You can do it! Fact is, they have responded positively, so they believe you can do the job, based on your previous experience.
It's natural to have self-doubts, and question your ability to be up to the task. But you are capable, and as you say, think back to previous situations where you've coped and done a good job.
Thank you so much for replying @hicks ! I really needed to read some encouraging words! Biggest hugs from me :)
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
I went to the interview, my heart was racing. I somehow managed to get a feeling of being brave and thinking "I can do this, it's nothing" and I got on my best clothes trying to feel like I at least look good (I really feel like the ugliest guy in the world to be honest).

The first person who greeted me was so nice and made me feel better. I met the boss who started out by pointing out the holes in my resume: I got really stressed but I managed to give an answer which was a half-truth: I love to travel a lot which I do.
Answering that I have had depression/anxiety is probably not the smartest. Then I said: I know I don't have the perfect resume to which the boss replied: nobody's perfect.

The boss seems like a no-nonsense guy with a low agreeableness which was pretty stressful. He did cut me some slack when I admitted my terrible resume though. If he didn't like me, he could easily have cut me down and ended the interview on the spot.
I am not sure if me admitting I don't have a perfect resume is a good idea. But this is who I am, if I make a mistake or have a weakness, my gut instinct is to admit to it directly, I am self-deprecating I guess. I have tried to work on it but sometimes I just don't care.

It felt kind of good in the end but man is this tough! The adrenaline could probably kill a horse!
There were 2 aspects of the job that I didn't anticipate that isn't exactly what I want or like right away though. I need the weekend to digest it, I may even need an entire year to understand the entire ordeal. I think the next move is mine.

Writing about it here is very helpful. What is so frightening is how I have made decisions in the past, not even thinking about important aspects and never discussing it with anyone. Yesterday I actually called people to discuss it!
I was walking through life like a zombie with a very low level reasoning. So very sad that I wasted all those years. I got hit with a big blow on one of my first jobs: bulliying which devastated me.

I think I managed to come across as pretty decent, certainly very nervous though! My nervousness decreased towards the end which is a good sign I think.

When I was on venlafaxin, I was also nervous but I couldn't connect with my emotions or with people. I have doubted stopping so many times. Right now it feels good to have left it behind.

I hope someone else can benefit from my ramblings and I most of all hope that in the end I can send a message that we do get second chances!
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
I didn't get the job, I did however get another job I have worked in for a month now. I have performed well at my tasks, people seem to like me.

Reading my first post makes me quite sad feeling sorry for my old self. I keep thinking: why does he have to live such a difficult life? Some people just coast through with minimum effort.
Not me though, I am the first one at work, I always re-check my work for errors and I try to get to know my colleagues albeit slowly and cautiously.

I think I recently made an error though, it's not clear as of yet if it is an error as the outcome isn't available yet.
This feels terrible and I am working hard to deal with it. I might have to get back on the anti-depressants again. I am back to work friday and I feel terrified of what will face me.
 
H

heal4life

Member
Joined
Mar 10, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Paris
Just applying for a new job was so difficult and brought about so much negative thoughts and anxiety.

I feel so bad about my resume which has holes in it and mostly temp jobs. Somehow I managed to send an application and they responded kind of positively. When I realized I might get the job, I got extremely anxious that I would fail. People will hate me, the coworkers will ridicule me and so on. I am still waiting to get a response. It's a temp job.

However, when I think of what I have been able to achieve before, I realize that these are irrational fears.
Or are they?
Can I even trust my own instincts anymore?

When I started writing this, I suddenly got the idea that I CAN do this:
that I only have one life and that I should face it head on and that I shouldn't hide and take the easy route by taking back my application.

Now I am having second thoughts again.
This feeling of uncertainty, that I change my mind so rapidly, is frightening. A part of me wishes I could keep my old job and just have nothing change for the rest of my life, to be safe forever, never ever leave my home even. Sounds so cowardly now when I read it. I need to explore these fears, I need to write them down so I don't act on them without thinking. Making decisions that are based on these irrational thoughts is a recipe for disaster.
Then I think about my parents who wanted the best for me and cared for me. I really want to make them proud of me, I don't want to fail them!

Sorry for writing such a long text but I really need someone to give me some feedback, I would appreciate it so, so much!
I had exactly the same fears before starting an new job, I had doubts and finally it went well with work and colleagues best thing to do is to stop thinking about it try to think about something else
 
I

itsembarrassing

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 29, 2020
Messages
76
Location
Ohio
I didn't get the job, I did however get another job I have worked in for a month now. I have performed well at my tasks, people seem to like me.

Reading my first post makes me quite sad feeling sorry for my old self. I keep thinking: why does he have to live such a difficult life? Some people just coast through with minimum effort.
Not me though, I am the first one at work, I always re-check my work for errors and I try to get to know my colleagues albeit slowly and cautiously.

I think I recently made an error though, it's not clear as of yet if it is an error as the outcome isn't available yet.
This feels terrible and I am working hard to deal with it. I might have to get back on the anti-depressants again. I am back to work friday and I feel terrified of what will face me.
I am proud of you on this journey of unknowns, trials and tribulations. Give yourself a pat on the back for me.


Everyone makes mistakes. Even those that make it seem easy. They’re just better at hiding it. Regardless of others: you’re a human, not a computer. You most likely expect more of yourself than anyone else does.

Medicine is okay. Its there for a reason. Take them if you need them.


You got this. 🖤
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
I had exactly the same fears before starting an new job, I had doubts and finally it went well with work and colleagues best thing to do is to stop thinking about it try to think about something else
I'm happy it went well, I will definitely try to not think about it, thank you.
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
I am proud of you on this journey of unknowns, trials and tribulations. Give yourself a pat on the back for me.


Everyone makes mistakes. Even those that make it seem easy. They’re just better at hiding it. Regardless of others: you’re a human, not a computer. You most likely expect more of yourself than anyone else does.

Medicine is okay. Its there for a reason. Take them if you need them.


You got this. 🖤
Thank you for the kind words!
I think everybody has difficulties however things are quite different for us with mental health problems. Have you had problems at work @itsembarrassing ?
 
N

Nila1212

Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2020
Messages
18
Location
Canada
I’m in a similar situation right now. I’m applying for a job that is a rare opportunity as it is difficult to find a job with my degree where I am living. I’m so nervous to even apply, let alone be interviewed and get the job as I am so scared of failing. I am going to apply because I know I can’t pass up the opportunity, but if i could work in a comfortable job that doesn’t challenge me and not care about being “successful” and not caring what everyone else thinks.. I would do it, just to not have to deal with this anxiety.
 
B

BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
I didn't get the job, I did however get another job I have worked in for a month now. I have performed well at my tasks, people seem to like me.

Reading my first post makes me quite sad feeling sorry for my old self. I keep thinking: why does he have to live such a difficult life? Some people just coast through with minimum effort.
Not me though, I am the first one at work, I always re-check my work for errors and I try to get to know my colleagues albeit slowly and cautiously.

I think I recently made an error though, it's not clear as of yet if it is an error as the outcome isn't available yet.
This feels terrible and I am working hard to deal with it. I might have to get back on the anti-depressants again. I am back to work friday and I feel terrified of what will face me.
Hi User , do you feel anxious about your job still ? What was the error that you've made?
 
B

BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
I’m in a similar situation right now. I’m applying for a job that is a rare opportunity as it is difficult to find a job with my degree where I am living. I’m so nervous to even apply, let alone be interviewed and get the job as I am so scared of failing. I am going to apply because I know I can’t pass up the opportunity, but if i could work in a comfortable job that doesn’t challenge me and not care about being “successful” and not caring what everyone else thinks.. I would do it, just to not have to deal with this anxiety.
Hi Nila1212 , let us know how the new job application goes !
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
225
Location
europe
I’m in a similar situation right now. I’m applying for a job that is a rare opportunity as it is difficult to find a job with my degree where I am living. I’m so nervous to even apply, let alone be interviewed and get the job as I am so scared of failing. I am going to apply because I know I can’t pass up the opportunity, but if i could work in a comfortable job that doesn’t challenge me and not care about being “successful” and not caring what everyone else thinks.. I would do it, just to not have to deal with this anxiety.
I felt exactly the same, wanting a comfortable job but I think my feeling that I am capable of doing the job was more powerful than the fear. I remembered all the hard work I have put in and the good result. If I just look at the cold hard facts, I am actually pretty capable. If I only focus on my feelings and fears, I am a complete failure, completely worthless, stupid and lazy (I could go on forever with this but you get the idea).
So I try to make decisions based on facts rather than feelings.

I don't know if this helps anyone, I think it helped me but it could just be that I am making a rationalization of my actions afterwards. I do remember the morning of the interview, I just had to force myself out of bed kind of like a weight lifter before they make an attempt at lifting.

The other scenario of me cancelling the interview would have been much worse, lose my apartment, move to my parents and become a shadow is infinitely more frightening but in a more discrete way.
Life is not that fun but I really enjoy talking with you fellow sufferers.
 
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