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New job anxiety / depression

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phoenixakiria

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
1
Location
London
Hello, this is my first post on this forum and it's quite a long one, sorry!

So I've had severe anxiety ever since I can remember, but it massively improved over the last couple of years after having CBT, a job I was comfortable in, good exercise / healthy eating, enough sleep etc.

3 weeks ago I started a new job. I took the job because it was an opportunity that I'll probably never see again, good money, a big company in the industry I've always wanted to work in, and there were over 100 applicants for my position. So far, I have hated every second of it.

I'm constantly exhausted, I keep messing up and making stupid mistakes when the stakes are high and there are no room for errors, my colleagues are not my kind of people at all, the workload is unmanageable, my role doesn't match the job description and I can't stand my manager. I've cried in the toilets nearly every day and I'm smoking nearly a pack of cigarettes a day which I've never done before. I go to work in the dark, sit in an office all day and then go home in the dark. I spend every weekend dreading the following Monday. I'm even trying to source generic amphetamine and ADHD meds online to make my days feel less horrifying.

I feel trapped. I can't quit because I'll be letting myself and my family down (this opportunity won't come again) and I don't have a plan B or any other source of income, but I feel so unhappy, useless and unmotivated. I'm eating nothing during the day and microwave food at night, and it's like my mental health has just completely spiralled again and I'm back to square one.

The thought of staying at this job for at least another 6 months to a year (without break because probation) actually makes me feel physically nauseous. Honestly the thought of another week there makes me want to cry. I have no idea what to do. I feel so ungrateful and stupid.

Does anyone else struggle with job/careers while dealing with anxiety or other mental health issues?
 
JuliaW54

JuliaW54

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2019
Messages
139
Location
UK
Yep. Always dreamed of being a social worker and then good ole depression kept popping up. It’s ruined me. I can’t do the job anymore, it became too stressful and so I had to leave. But it’s the best thing I did. Leaving. I’m still unwell but now I don’t have the added pressure of all the stress that used to make me cry the minute I opened my eyes. Not saying it’s the answer for you, but opportunity or not, nothing is worth your well being.
 
I

I love people

Active member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
30
Location
LEAMINGTON SPA
I agree. If the people there are not understanding then it's not the right job for you. I'm sure your family will understand and support you
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
7,035
Location
hiding behind the sofa
STAFF ADVICE

We dont recommend anyone to buy medications online as there is no guarantee as to what the pills may contains.
It’s always better to seek the advice of a medical practitioner who can decide what kind of treatment is best for you
 
J

John32john

Active member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
27
Location
USA
Anxiety always has a trigger and an answer. Here is a list of of things that can be happening.
-U feel inferior to other people.For example If someone is more verbal than u than they will make u feel like your stupid and it will cause anxiety especially if its your boss.
If your boss is taller, with an authoritive voice more mature looking it will cause anxiety.
Or if your visual and your boss is verball it will cause anxiety...bottom line when someone presents themself to be smarter than u it will cause anxiety. Dont be inferior to nobody. If your iq is over 25 or 50 you are smart just u need to figure out why your iq is low.in other words figure out where your brain works properly and where it doesnt...then focus on your strengths and MOST of your weaknesses will disapear.
-IF U HAVE DEVELOPMENTAL PROBLEMS...WHICH IM SURE U DO TO SOME DEGREE OTHER WISE U WOULDNT BE IN THIS MESS( I SPEAK FROM A LOVING HEART) IM KINDA REPEATING WHAT I ALREADY SAID BECAUSE U MAKING MISTAKES IS FROM YOUR INSECURITIES AND YOU FEELING INSECURITIES TO SOMEONE ELSE.
-FIGURE OUT OUT VISUAL AND HOW VERBAL U ARE. THESE 2 ARE THE KEYS TO INTELLIGENCE. IF U BECOME INTELLIGENT YOUR MENTAL ANXIETY WILL GO AWAY.
- IQ IS A GENERALISED TEST THAT SHOWS HOW SMART THEY ARE...KEY WORD GENERALIZED...YOU CAN BE VERY VISUAL BUT NOT AT ALL VERBAL AND IT WILL BRING YOUR IQ SCORE DOWN THERFORE IQ IS NOT THE DEFINITION OF INTELLIGENCE
-if u have a poor memory it will bring uour iq down. If u have a slow processing speed it will bring your iq down.
But the real answer to what intelligence is...is how your brain procesess information
Education is also not the answere to inteligence ...education is just learning information...obtaining knowledge.....once u get knowledge your brain must prioritize it correctly and find use for it. That is intelligence. Intelligence is not knowledge like most people think.
Intelligence takes experience,exploring,observing, luck, seeing different things, hearing, listening,revalation ect....than your brain must prioritize and find use for information
---im suspecting u may be somewhat visual so u get touched when someone makes facial reactions. And u might be a better visually when its upclose..meaning if someone is making facial expresions upclose it will cause your mood to change
----also your brain comprehend better up close...meaning if someone if someone is screaming from far away thsn your mood wont change but if they do it to your face tthan it will hurt u.
----u might have spiritual problems which c as n bd triggured for many reasons like games tv phones and so forth but im not gonna get into the spritual problems
By the way i had 14 jobs in 5 years.
I learned the hard way dont chase money
---there is much more but these are some of the main ones
 
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