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New Job after long unemployment - Very Scared

M

Mav2126

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
78
Location
New York
Hi All-

I am a 47 year old male with bipolar II and extreme social anxiety. I have been out of work for a year and a half and just started a job last week. There is an extreme amount of pressure from family that I succeed at this job. I had massive anxiety attacks on my first days of the job but still was able to barely function. The last half of the first week was better than the beginning. I was just starting to make connections with other co-workers and my boss tells everyone that we aren't allowed to talk about "non-work" topics which is killing me because I need to make real connections with my co-workers. Anyway I am scared shitless about performing well on the job. My memory is terrible so I have to right everything down. I am constantly comparing myself to others there who have been there for years and telling myself that I should know more even though its my first week. I mentally beat myself all day long and it is exhausting. I am just scared that I can never hold down a job long term. It makes me think I will be homeless somebody or terribly poor. Looking for support from the group. Thanks!
 
S

squizofrenia123

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
221
Location
earth
If you don't already have one, please talk to your therapist about your issues. I used to like talking to my therapist and the main message I gained from it was to take my medication. If I were you, I would not put too much pressure on yourself. I myself was out of work for 2 years and went back to work last year and am doing fine. My attitude is to do the best I can with what I have and not compare myself to others. It is easier said than done though. I am doing ok now because I told my company I am still learning on the job and am receptive to all comments and criticism. I always try to think about improving my skills and becoming better at my job. So, a good attitude can go far with others, especially one's boss. Also, just take it one day at a time. If you think of your job in such a manner, it's so much easier to handle. I would not worry about the week or next week but just what you are facing at the moment. Try to not think of your success but your ability to survive and to tackle what is at hand. Once you get a handle on the moment's task and the present challenges, then you can think a little farther down the road. For now, just relax and take it one day at a time. And, try to do your best no matter what you do. I'm sure if you have a positive attitude, you will survive and be the best you can be. Best wishes! And, lots of blessings!
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hi All-

I am a 47 year old male with bipolar II and extreme social anxiety. I have been out of work for a year and a half and just started a job last week. There is an extreme amount of pressure from family that I succeed at this job. I had massive anxiety attacks on my first days of the job but still was able to barely function. The last half of the first week was better than the beginning. I was just starting to make connections with other co-workers and my boss tells everyone that we aren't allowed to talk about "non-work" topics which is killing me because I need to make real connections with my co-workers. Anyway I am scared shitless about performing well on the job. My memory is terrible so I have to right everything down. I am constantly comparing myself to others there who have been there for years and telling myself that I should know more even though its my first week. I mentally beat myself all day long and it is exhausting. I am just scared that I can never hold down a job long term. It makes me think I will be homeless somebody or terribly poor. Looking for support from the group. Thanks!
I wonder if your doctor could prescribe you something for anxiety? That might be helpful to you. I know it’s easier said than done, but back off on yourself and give yourself a breather for a change. Allow yourself some wiggle room to grow into the job with some imperfections. Nobody that has been successful at the job got to where they are immediately or with absolute perfection. Try and find different ways to connect with your co workers...maybe on your lunch break?
 
M

Mav2126

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
78
Location
New York
Thanks for the feedback everyone. It really helps me alot. Thanks.
 
B

Babygorilla

Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
Hawaii
Hi All-

I am a 47 year old male with bipolar II and extreme social anxiety. I have been out of work for a year and a half and just started a job last week. There is an extreme amount of pressure from family that I succeed at this job. I had massive anxiety attacks on my first days of the job but still was able to barely function. The last half of the first week was better than the beginning. I was just starting to make connections with other co-workers and my boss tells everyone that we aren't allowed to talk about "non-work" topics which is killing me because I need to make real connections with my co-workers. Anyway I am scared shitless about performing well on the job. My memory is terrible so I have to right everything down. I am constantly comparing myself to others there who have been there for years and telling myself that I should know more even though its my first week. I mentally beat myself all day long and it is exhausting. I am just scared that I can never hold down a job long term. It makes me think I will be homeless somebody or terribly poor. Looking for support from the group. Thanks!
You can do it! You made it through the first week, that’s a huge accomplishment and you should be so proud of yourself. Do you see your coworkers on lunch break? Maybe that would be an opportunity to chat and get to know them. It’s to not compare ourselves to others but something that might help is to just remind yourself that at one point they were where you are right now and we’re probably comparing themselves to someone who had been there longer also. It is exhausting to have those thoughts all day, it’s a job within itself. That’s another reason for you to be proud of yourself though, you’re overcoming those thoughts AND doing your job at the same time. 🙂
 
Ladyfair

Ladyfair

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Messages
1,748
Location
USA
Hi All-

I am a 47 year old male with bipolar II and extreme social anxiety. I have been out of work for a year and a half and just started a job last week. There is an extreme amount of pressure from family that I succeed at this job. I had massive anxiety attacks on my first days of the job but still was able to barely function. The last half of the first week was better than the beginning. I was just starting to make connections with other co-workers and my boss tells everyone that we aren't allowed to talk about "non-work" topics which is killing me because I need to make real connections with my co-workers. Anyway I am scared shitless about performing well on the job. My memory is terrible so I have to right everything down. I am constantly comparing myself to others there who have been there for years and telling myself that I should know more even though its my first week. I mentally beat myself all day long and it is exhausting. I am just scared that I can never hold down a job long term. It makes me think I will be homeless somebody or terribly poor. Looking for support from the group. Thanks!
Hello! Welcome here, we all have fears and doubts. You are at least trying I know it's difficult but believe in yourself. Good luck.😁
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,090
Location
Southern USA
Hi All-

I am a 47 year old male with bipolar II and extreme social anxiety. I have been out of work for a year and a half and just started a job last week. There is an extreme amount of pressure from family that I succeed at this job. I had massive anxiety attacks on my first days of the job but still was able to barely function. The last half of the first week was better than the beginning. I was just starting to make connections with other co-workers and my boss tells everyone that we aren't allowed to talk about "non-work" topics which is killing me because I need to make real connections with my co-workers. Anyway I am scared shitless about performing well on the job. My memory is terrible so I have to right everything down. I am constantly comparing myself to others there who have been there for years and telling myself that I should know more even though its my first week. I mentally beat myself all day long and it is exhausting. I am just scared that I can never hold down a job long term. It makes me think I will be homeless somebody or terribly poor. Looking for support from the group. Thanks!
Sending good vibes!
Don't compare yourself to anyone in that way. You weren't hired for that.
Congratulations on the new job btw!
I agree with Jess that an anxiety med would be helpful.
Today will be better. ✌
 
M

Mav2126

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
78
Location
New York
Thanks everyone for the support! It really means alot to me!
 
C

CabbageMama

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
534
Location
UK
There is a settling in period for anyone in a new job, you aren’t expected to know everything straightaway, so try and be a little kinder to yourself. I am dreadful at this, so try and imagine someone else in my position, what support, advice and reassurance I would give them, then flip it back to how other people must see and want to support me. New jobs are scary at the best of times - you have done really well to manage as well as you have through your first week. before you know it, you will have done two weeks. 🙂
 

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