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New-ish to therapy - can I please get some insights into my experience?

W

whywearelaughing

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
15
Location
usa
Hello,
I initially started therapy earlier this year after a traumatic break-up. I tried 1 therapist for 3 sessions but I didn't feel a good rapport so worked with another therapist for 3-4 months. I felt like I wasn't making progress and that therapist felt judgmental. I then looked for another therapist but my insurance really limited my options so I went back to the first therapist today. After seeing her, I feel like I am in agony. Our entire session was about why I left the other therapist. She told me that when someone doesn't give me the response I want, that I try to control how they "should have" responded and so I don't allow them to be them. She said that "it doesn't feel good to talk to me." She suggested group therapy and when I said I'd have to think about it, she said that was proof that I am not willing to do what others suggest to help. I'm beating myself up because it makes me sound like I'm this terrible person. It doesn't feel good to talk to me? That's horrendous. Is the goal of therapy to make sure the therapist feels comfortable? And make THEIR feelings important? And if I don't agree with everything they say, then I'm not "taking it in." All this after 1 session? I thought it was normal to try to find a therapist you had rapport with? I can't tell if this is how therapy is supposed to be and I am taking it really personally, if I'm just far more damaged than I knew or if this is not normal for therapy. Any thoughts?
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,119
Location
Nowhere
n yeah this is the problem with cheap therapy
have had alot of this myself
and now I'm lucky to get disability assistance
I can afford to see a good one, but only once a month

I dont think any of the therapists you describe sound OK ...
its good that you are aware that it doesn't feel right

there should be more regulation in therapy
and guidelines for new clients
I think especially in the early days you need someone non judgmental
who is warm and accepting

actually group therapy can be helpful
while you are in one to one therapy
because it give you peers you can check things out with
to make sure your therapist is sound

but certainly not because ' it doesnt feel good to talk to you '
that is very unprofessional ...

:grouphug:
 
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