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New here. Think I need help.

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cloudydays

New member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Europe
Hi. I'm here because I barely use social media, well, I only use it sometimes to see what's going on but got no followers or anything. Anyways. I apologize because english isn't my native language but I'm trying my best. So, I just wanted a piece of advice or just to get things off my chest, since It's been years I haven't talked to my friends or anyone about my deepest feelings. Let's begin, uh. I've always had some kind of trouble with food because my family taught me that eating a lot of junk food was nice. So, since I was like 6 I started to be chubby. I was the slowest at running. Felt a bit bad about it. But in the beggining I didn't care about my appearence. I was just living. Then, some years later (2-3 I guess) is when I first got criticised because of my belly. And now we jump to my 15's, because although I was criticised, I maintained my habits (food, clothes...). But when I was like 15 is when things started to go downhill. I was starting, little by little, to isolate myself. I was eating whatever I wanted and not doing almost any exercise. I was losing my confidence while I was gaining weight. Started to develop depression, had some hormonal issues. Until my 17's, that's when I reached my biggest weight, I was overweight.

I don't exactly know how it started, I just remember thinking it was time for a change and that I would only eat sweets if I really wanted them. Also I remember thinking that it would be nice to change for when I'll be in College. And that's what I did. The following month I started to see changes and I was excited about it. In matter of months (I was already 18), I was starting to feel better. I suddenly learned to count calories. Then learned to eat attached to some of my rules. I was starting to feel guilty of eating "bad foods". I begin feeling scared of being fat again. So I was just maintaining my weight. Later I wanted to lose more.

Last December I begun eating what I wanted, I was just happy with food. And my logic was either eating following my rules and exercising or eating what I wanted but not exercising. See, I'm kind of a perfectionist person. But then I didn't like how my body turned out (my weight hadn't changed that much but my shape). So then I decided I wanted another change. I started exercising more. Eating againg following my rules. And here I am like 6 weeks later. Maybe a bit happier with my body. But not enough. It's never enough for me. That is the problem. I usually feel self conscious and I feel ashamed when I remember my past self. I hate it. But what really "triggered" me to post this was a kind of binge I had this morning. I didn't know what was going on. I just felt out of control. Now I don't know what to do. I think I'll always hate myself.
 
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natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
17,529
Hi,

I think you might benefit from a dietician, or nutrionist quliafied, and t his can be arranged, and I am going by the British syst em, I wouldn't know how things work in Eur ope, and the general doctor, can easily o rganise a dietician, or a nutrionist for you.


Also, exercise is very important if you wish to get somewhere with loosing some weight. If cost, isn't an issue, you might and please consider with your parents, to invest in a personal fitness t rainer.


I wish you well, and do let us know further how you'll get on, if it helps, i haven't had, "junk fast food " not in years!
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,533
Location
Canada
I feel ashamed when I remember my past self.
What about feeling proud of yourself for the improvement you've made? You are in better shape now than you were back then, so give yourself some credit and feel good about that. You've made progress, that's something to feel good about, your past self is history.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
19,597
Location
Nowhere
hi cloudydays :welcome: !

what others have said . And there is also a 12 step group
called Overeaters Anonymous that you should be able to locate anywhere

they have helped me somewhat

I hope you find this forum helpful


:grouphug:🕯
 
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