New Here, Sort Of

[CharlotteAnne]

I think my account maybe got deleted due to inactivity. Does that happen? If it does, oh well. I think my last activity on here was in 2017. I actually don't mind having a new user name. It's okay with me.

I am struggling big time right now. I think I am a hoarder, and I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have. I also have a job that I hate, and I need to find a new place to live. I am trying very hard to not let my mind go to thoughts of suicide, but sometimes despair overtakes me.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

hoarding comes from experiencing hardship in the past, then the mind wants to be more prepared for the future.

 

[UpnDwn1978]

Hi CharlotteAnne welcome back to the forum

 

[Am33]

I think my account maybe got deleted due to inactivity. Does that happen? If it does, oh well. I think my last activity on here was in 2017. I actually don't mind having a new user name. It's okay with me.

I am struggling big time right now. I think I am a hoarder, and I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have. I also have a job that I hate, and I need to find a new place to live. I am trying very hard to not let my mind go to thoughts of suicide, but sometimes despair overtakes me.

Why do you think you are a hoarder cause you have to move and have to box everything up now ? Moving is difficult for everybody you will be ok .

 

[CharlotteAnne]

Why do you think you are a hoarder cause you have to move and have to box everything up now ? Moving is difficult for everybody you will be ok .

Not because I have to box everything up for moving. I just have so much stuff that it doesn't fit in my closets and cupboards. And I'm not one of those tidy hoarders who has all their stuff in boxes, either. I am a very messy person and basically have little trails through my apartment.

 

[JessisMe]

Hi @CharlotteAnne and welcome back to the forums. I have been a hoarder in the past too and know how overwhelming it can be. Especially the prospect of moving and having to go through all that stuff. It sounds like you are in a rough spot between the job and the move at the moment. We are glad to have you back. Let us know in what way we can be of support. xo, j

 

[CharlotteAnne]

Hi @CharlotteAnne and welcome back to the forums. I have been a hoarder in the past too and know how overwhelming it can be. Especially the prospect of moving and having to go through all that stuff. It sounds like you are in a rough spot between the job and the move at the moment. We are glad to have you back. Let us know in what way we can be of support. xo, j

Thank you for your reply. It's true, I am in a difficult place in life right now. No one knows how bad my apartment is. I have 2 weeks Christmas break, and I was planning to get lots of tidying/cleaning/organizing done. I was also going to start getting rid of stuff. But I have done nothing, and I have 7 days left before I go back to work. I am really scared the shit's gonna hit the fan, and I am going to be found out. I have repairs that need to be done in my apartment, but I haven't notified the building manager because of the state my apartment is in, and the damage is getting worse and worse. That's why I have to find a new place to live before I end up getting evicted. I am so scared right now.

 

[CharlotteAnne]

Hi @CharlotteAnne and welcome back to the forums. I have been a hoarder in the past too and know how overwhelming it can be. Especially the prospect of moving and having to go through all that stuff. It sounds like you are in a rough spot between the job and the move at the moment. We are glad to have you back. Let us know in what way we can be of support. xo, j

Thank you for your reply. It's true, I am in a difficult place in life right now. No one knows how bad my apartment is. I have 2 weeks Christmas break, and I was planning to get lots of tidying/cleaning/organizing done. I was also going to start getting rid of stuff. But I have done nothing, and I have 7 days left before I go back to work. I am really scared the shit's gonna hit the fan, and I am going to be found out. I have repairs that need to be done in my apartment, but I haven't notified the building manager because of the state my apartment is in, and the damage is getting worse and worse. That's why I have to find a new place to live before I end up getting evicted. I am so scared right now.

 

[JessisMe]

Thank you for your reply. It's true, I am in a difficult place in life right now. No one knows how bad my apartment is. I have 2 weeks Christmas break, and I was planning to get lots of tidying/cleaning/organizing done. I was also going to start getting rid of stuff. But I have done nothing, and I have 7 days left before I go back to work. I am really scared the shit's gonna hit the fan, and I am going to be found out. I have repairs that need to be done in my apartment, but I haven't notified the building manager because of the state my apartment is in, and the damage is getting worse and worse. That's why I have to find a new place to live before I end up getting evicted. I am so scared right now.

Have you tried to set small goals for yourself to clear out/pack up one particular area on a particular day so it does not become overwhelming? Bit by bit you can get through it. Do you have friends or a friend that could come over to help you?

 

[Am33]

They say people horde is because they have fears its like they are using stuff to block them from the world ? Like building a castle around them with their stuff ? You might look at that with a therapist until then you can help to overcome your fears about anything with positive affirmations out loud everyday . You can find on the net 60 for women , for fears helps to change our mindset.

 

[JessisMe]

I think I just accumulated stuff because I like stuff, I was bored and shopping is fun. I’m not sure why I continued to buy stuff even though I clearly didn’t need it. I guess I just liked buying stuff.

 

[CharlotteAnne]

The things I have accumulated are mostly yarn and clothes. It started with the clothes because I had gained a lot of weight when I had to start taking Seroquel. But I held onto all my pretty clothes because I kept hoping that I would be able to lose the weight and fit into them again. But now I am 100 lbs overweight and struggling with binge eating disorder as well, partly because of the meds, and partly because eating copious amounts of ice cream and other crap is how I've been coping with stress. I literally have bags a and bags of yarn for all the different crochet projects I wanted to do. And not just little grocery size bags. Very large zipper bags that I got specifically for my yarn. Plus I have a cedar chest my grandpa made me, and that is full of yarn as well. I also have yarn overflowing on my couch. I only have one spot on the couch for me to sit, and the rest is full of yarn and partly finished projects. I can get rid of clothes, but ask me to part with my yarn and I can't. I just want to make beautiful things. I spend too much time crocheting and not enough time tidying and cleaning.

I am mainly working on cleaning the kitchen today. Lots and lots of dishes, and (I feel ashamed to say this) lots of garbage too. I don't know why I don't just take out a bag of garbage when it's full. Now I have large garbage bags full, and I don't want anyone seeing me taking out my big bags of garbage, so I keep telling myself that tomorrow I will get up really early and take it out when no one else is up and about.

 

[Am33]

Google Clutters Anonymous lots tools there and Hoarders Heart .

 

[Am33]

Why don't you get a storage locker for your yarn and clothes ?

 

[Am33]

Why don't you get a storage locker for your yarn and clothes ?

One last thing sugar effects the part of the brain that deals with self control .So eating things with sugar you wont have any self control over your eating . That's why so much is put into our foods to get us to buy more . You can eat salads , brown rice all you want and not gain any weight .