• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

New here. Seeking advice before finding a therapist

N

nostalgia1990

New member
Joined
Sep 21, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Los Angeles, CA
Hello,

I just joined this forum because I'm trying to develop a starting point for therapy. I am hopeful that describing some of my feelings here will result in some guidance from other users.

I'm male and have lived in Los Angeles my entire life. I just turned 30 in August. I suspect that if I am dealing with a mental affliction, it falls within the anxiety spectrum for reasons I will list below. I am positive I have a form of OCD given many ticks, oral fixations (tongue clicks, conscious teeth grinding, etc.), and other irregular behaviors I have just learned to contend with throughout my life (stress certainly exacerbates these ticks). However, OCD doesn't explain the thought patterns I've noticed in myself that have brought me here today.

To keep this as brief as possible, below is a general list of observations that I am trying to reconcile cohesively:
  • Easily distracted
    • I find it difficult to stay on topic, even privately. I want to accomplish a thousand things (books, new topics to study and master, workout routines or diets to develop and then implement), so I start them to get it out of my system, and then drop them for an indefinite period of time.
    • I find myself stumbling when trying to find the right words to describe a situation to someone, whether at work or to my friends/girlfriend. I understand what I'm trying to say, but I find it getting more and more difficult for me to find the words to describe things. It's like my brain is numb or foggy. If I were to try to describe this exactly, I would say I have trouble conveying the fluidity of story - I'm not sure how to walk a listener through beginning, middle, and end effectively so as to ensure their understanding.
  • Frequently revisit nostalgic locations or experiences
    • I suspect I am more obsessive about preserving nostalgic experiences that other people I know. I frequently revisit my college campus here in LA; I drive by my old girlfriends' homes just to reminisce even if they no longer live there; I've walked through old apartment buildings my family and I used to live in after having waited for someone to open the sliding garage gate so I could enter for a look around, etc.
    • I tend to play and replay old video games I've beaten dozens of times, or listen to old music, just to hear the music and sounds of my childhood or earlier years (essentially, anything from college and before makes me feel optimally happy in a nostalgic sense). I just find myself constantly yearning for times already gone, like I didn't get enough. This likely ties into the next section below.
  • Constantly concerned with mortality
    • This began when I turned 25 and is considerably worse at night. I remember my age and feel like I am running out of time, or I feel like I am missing out on milestone life experiences. I had a lot of fun in college and then immediately met my current girlfriend of 7+ years upon graduating. While I have never cheated on her, I am always worried about missing out on other experiences.
    • Although I am well-traveled, run a successful side business, and earn six-figures at my day job, I find myself worrying that I have not accomplished enough by my age or that there are things I should have done or should be doing. I am uncomfortable with not being productive unless I am on vacation, even if all I accomplish is cleaning up my apartment. Which leads me to my final bullet point below.
  • Find myself unhappy with many aspects of my life
    • My career: I worked very hard to get to where I am (my family won't be leaving me a nest egg, so my future is all up to me). I am good at my job, yet I constantly think about leaving for careers completely unrelated to my industry.
    • My relationship: I love and value my long-time girlfriend very much, and care deeply about her. Mentally, however, I always have one foot out the door and feel like I'm leaving my options open. I am not proud to admit that I have flirted via text with other girls (mostly old flames), one of which to the point where we exchanged nude photos about a year ago (this was a one time thing, but that doesn't mean I am not open to it happening again).
I know this has gotten very wordy. In summary, I'm unsure whether I have anything such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, a mild form of depression, or very basic existential angst that regular diet, exercise, and post-COVID social interactions could remediate. I hope that this is a decent enough primer to get the conversation started. Thank you in advance for your responses, and I'll be sure to engage on here if I receive any responses.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,040
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. I think it is great you are going to try therapy. I would see a psychiatrist first as they are the only people who can give you a diagnosis. Once you get your diagnosis you can find a therapist with experience of it.
 
R

Rex Smith

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
317
Location
San Diego
I agree with bpd2020, Psychiatrist as the first step.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
KnownAsILKO Introduce Yourself 3
hahewe88 Introduce Yourself 3
L Introduce Yourself 3
J Introduce Yourself 5
O Introduce Yourself 1
Top