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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

New here-reaching for help

Jj453667

Jj453667

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Kentucky
Wanted to drop in and say hey. I just joined. I’ll be exploring this forum and trying to find answers and comparisons to my own mental health issues.

I am a 35 y/o single mother who has worked in Social Work for 13 years. I’ve been divorced 3x and I have a 13 y/o son.

my interest in living has waxed and waned over the years, however I’ve always been full of life (with some depression and emotional regulation issues-along with addictive tendencies, self-sabotaging issues and attachment/trust issues LOL) until the last 1-2 years.
It’s like I’ve just lost it. I’ve lost my spark. I not longer care about myself or anything external. I’ve gotten to this state that external life, “life”....society, the way humans are so twisted-I just can’t relate anymore. I’m tired of existing in a world that is this messed up.
I find that I am tired of getting up each day and having to go through the motions. I’ve gained 50 lbs. I’ve stopped taking substances that were keeping me otherwise energized in order to heal my body and mind.

instead, I’m really uncertain of my will to live or my level of resilience now. I’m not dumb. I’m an intelligent, well-written and spoken woman who works for the court system.

I just don’t have it in me anymore. My spark is gone. My dreams are gone. Even if someone tells me otherwise, I know what I feel. I know the angst and inability to trust those closest to me. I’m not even sure what to do or where to go from here.

I’ve done the whole antidepressant, anti-anxiety, health and fitness, mindful meditation, astrology, sage, crystals....

I’ve ran the gambit, ya’ll. I’m at a loss here.
Thanks for listening.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,941
Location
Glasgow
If you have tried meds, exercise etc then there is nothing left. Or you could fall in love with yourself. Start treating your self well. Respect yourself. If nothing else you will never be lonely if you lime toir own company 😝
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,941
Location
Glasgow
If you have tried meds, exercise etc then there is nothing left. Or you could fall in love with yourself. Start treating your self well. Respect yourself. If nothing else you will never be lonely if you lime toir own company 😝
*like your own company.
 
C

_CC_

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
2
Location
US
Hi, I could have written some of your post. I am new here too, looking for some kind of answers. I too feel that the spark is gone and like I am just dead inside and the only dream I have is of winning a sweepstakes or lotto. I also do not trust people close to me. I don't know what the answer is for us but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm sorry I have no advice; just wanted you to know someone else felt the same way. It helps to feel less alone.
 
Jj453667

Jj453667

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Kentucky
Hi, I could have written some of your post. I am new here too, looking for some kind of answers. I too feel that the spark is gone and like I am just dead inside and the only dream I have is of winning a sweepstakes or lotto. I also do not trust people close to me. I don't know what the answer is for us but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm sorry I have no advice; just wanted you to know someone else felt the same way. It helps to feel less alone.
Thank you for the response! You’re right. I think I feel alone so often that I don’t realize what that feeling is. Isolation. Purposeful isolation. The lotto sounds nice. I could use that kind of boost.

Thank you for your kind words. I do feel like something environmentally and chemically has happened to me that has just broken me down. And I know what both are for myself.

just figuring out how to get myself back after being destroyed physically, chemically, mentally, emotionally is the hard part.

I appreciate your response 🙏
 
C

_CC_

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
2
Location
US
You're so welcome and it's a pleasure to meet you.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
5,296
Location
Norway
Hi Jj453667 welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
J

jen1976

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Uk
Wanted to drop in and say hey. I just joined. I’ll be exploring this forum and trying to find answers and comparisons to my own mental health issues.

I am a 35 y/o single mother who has worked in Social Work for 13 years. I’ve been divorced 3x and I have a 13 y/o son.

my interest in living has waxed and waned over the years, however I’ve always been full of life (with some depression and emotional regulation issues-along with addictive tendencies, self-sabotaging issues and attachment/trust issues LOL) until the last 1-2 years.
It’s like I’ve just lost it. I’ve lost my spark. I not longer care about myself or anything external. I’ve gotten to this state that external life, “life”....society, the way humans are so twisted-I just can’t relate anymore. I’m tired of existing in a world that is this messed up.
I find that I am tired of getting up each day and having to go through the motions. I’ve gained 50 lbs. I’ve stopped taking substances that were keeping me otherwise energized in order to heal my body and mind.

instead, I’m really uncertain of my will to live or my level of resilience now. I’m not dumb. I’m an intelligent, well-written and spoken woman who works for the court system.

I just don’t have it in me anymore. My spark is gone. My dreams are gone. Even if someone tells me otherwise, I know what I feel. I know the angst and inability to trust those closest to me. I’m not even sure what to do or where to go from here.

I’ve done the whole antidepressant, anti-anxiety, health and fitness, mindful meditation, astrology, sage, crystals....

I’ve ran the gambit, ya’ll. I’m at a loss here.
Thanks for listening.
Hello and welcome to the forum. :)
 
J

jen1976

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Uk
Hi. Just wanted to say I have felt similar in the past. Defeated by life. But I truly believe you and me and anyone else who feels like that can eventually get through it. It might not be today, tomorrow or next week, but we can feel different. One day they’ll be the tiniest glimmer of hope and if we nurture that, it must be a way forward. Look after and be kind to yourself.:loveshower:
 
Jj453667

Jj453667

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Kentucky
Thank you all!!! You all are awesome! I’ve found a great friend through here already. I’m branching out! Thank you 🥰
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
897
Location
Scotland
Hi, Scottish retired on ill health grounds social worker/mental health Officer here. Currently abstinent from alcohol for 5 years. Oh I think you need to a) get a good psychiatric evaluation b) get out of social work because you are burned out. You choose, your decision but that 13 year old needs a mum functioning at a good level. Divorced 3 times at 35 is going some. Sure you are not bipolar?
 
Jj453667

Jj453667

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Kentucky
Hi, Scottish retired on ill health grounds social worker/mental health Officer here. Currently abstinent from alcohol for 5 years. Oh I think you need to a) get a good psychiatric evaluation b) get out of social work because you are burned out. You choose, your decision but that 13 year old needs a mum functioning at a good level. Divorced 3 times at 35 is going some. Sure you are not bipolar?
I’m not sure of anything honestly. I can’t really get “out” of social work, being that is what my career path is. I don’t have any other skill sets, so that part takes care of itself. I’m still functioning and efficient with my work. It does give me some sort of meaning. I do agree that my son needs a better functioning mother, but considering, he is very well taken care of. I’ve managed to compartmentalize many of my issues over the last year, and I’m regaining my strength and resolve. It just takes time.

I love the idea of a therapist or psychiatrist. I’d love tofind someone who is compassionate and who cares. And who is good at their job and will help me as a team member. Those are few and far between.
Thank you for the advice. That gives me a lot to think about.
 
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