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New here. Introduction.

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Tryingmybest76

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
Hello,

I am new here. Trying to find ways to connect with others going through similar situations. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression. In therapy which is helping. I am having a hard time currently as I really don't have alot of people around. I do have a couple people that are amazing but people have lives and I want to be respectful of this. I have been struggling with feeling alone and the extra hurdle of finding out more solidly that I am somewhere in the aro-ace spectrum.

This makes me feel even more alone and knowing how hard it can be to find this even more is daunting. Plus I have been hurt in the past badly by relationships. I have been trying to work on my anxious style and codependency from childhood trauma. Feeling alittle flustered as alot of events near me are when I work and no lgbtqia groups/events via meetup found.

I currently am in a place of self work but also thinking how yes I love my alone time but I would love to have a partner in a qpr. But this also scared me as I am really sensitive to rejection/perceived abandonment from trauma/past relations. Even friendships when they would get partners themselves and naturally they would not be as available it would cut deep despite sharing in their joy with them. Really the source is my wanting that for myself. Someone I can call my own and to be called someones. I feel as aro-ace it is like finding a needle in a haystack. I think it just starts with putting myself out there for friendships and taking it slow/communicating needs and expectations. I am very new to the aro-ace community.

It has been a rough two years especially with the anxiety and always have struggled with social situations feeling like I don't fit in quite right. I feel like I want to expand my circle. I will be attending this one local place that is friendly with lgbtq so that is a start. But I do I know that there is alot of people struggling to adjust back into things as well mentally and emotionally.

In my younger days I had an emotionally abusive parent and the other passed away in my teen years. Was around alot of yelling and fighting as a teenager. Saw only violent or emotionally abusive partners in my siblings lives. Was quite a lonely kid and always thought that I chose that. But I don't think I did. That was quite an introduction. I hope this was ok to write out some of these things in an intro and with being new to the forum. Plus I do apologize I am sure my grammar is not the greatest.

I am so glad to have found this forum. I look forward to being apart of this wonderful community.
 
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laural98

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Wales
Hi and welcome. I too joined this forum this evening in relation to my anxiety and panic attacks and already feel so supported by everyone. I hope you will too.
 
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Tryingmybest76

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
Thank you so much laural98. I am glad your feeling supported. So important for those like us with anxiety depression. Having social connection is so helpful.
 
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laural98

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Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Wales
It really is. At times you can feel so alone and it’s reassuring to know that you are not the only one with experiences in this subject. If I’m honest, I did not realise how many people suffered or are suffering with anxiety/depression/panic attacks. Being someone that is now experiencing it first hand, i think people don’t pay enough attention until something like this affects them. I never thought I would be in the position I am in at the moment and it’s quite frightening.

How are you doing at the moment?
 
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Tryingmybest76

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
It helps so much to talk it out with those who also are experience. It's so easy to let those thoughts take over and tell horrible things etc. one of them being sometimes I'm a burden. I have to reach out and usually that dissipates pretty quickly or journal/draw. It can get scary, I agree. I'm with you on it being frightening.

I am ok. Wish I was better. Wish I didn't have these feelings of loneliness but also feeling a strong desire to connect which is a good thing actually to have these forums. It helps so much. Been in a weird haze though. I do fine when I am busy but then I get home and I have to sit with my thoughts/pain. Thank you for asking and is your anxiety/depression/panic attacks helped by knowing you have this forum to turn too? Sounds like it is a good forum from looking around.
 
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Tombomb

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Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
4,112
We are rare people n it’s hard for us too get support from people cause most society doesn’t have mental illness ? I’m so grateful of u guys n you’ll be seeing me around this place 😀😀!! Helps my mental health
 
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laural98

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Wales
It can also be frightening being alone with your own thoughts sometimes. It’s good to communicate them with people who understand.

This is exactly how I felt, I’m 100% that person who bottles everything up but my sudden experience with anxiety/panic attacks has made me want to connect with others and understand it more. I did not realise it could be this bad. I also find when I’m alone the anxiety kicks in worse than ever. I have only been in this forum a couple of hours and it’s already been enlightening.
 
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Tombomb

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Joined
Dec 25, 2018
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4,112
I used too want too isolate myself for years when things got bad ! N I would go real deep with my thinking .
 
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Tryingmybest76

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Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
Hello Tombomb (that is an awesome display name :D)

You're so right. I feel like so many are not able to get what we experience so you almost hold it in and try on your own. This forum is already so healing for me. I understand it's never to late but my nerves had me nervous to post for a couple weeks now. Very grateful for all of you as well.


Laurel98,

it helps so much. I have been doing like a drawing approach as well as increasing self care even if I don't feel like it. I try to remind myself that is probably when I need it most. I do the same, I withdraw. I am trying to despite feeling incredibilty vulnerable to reach out and remember it is ok to not be ok. As well others to get though these hard thoughts.

This forum is amazing already yay!! Thank you!!
 
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Tryingmybest76

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Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
I have a tendency to do that too Tombomb. Anxiety/Depression can sadly be tenacious. Social connections is the best medicine as well as no shame if one needs medication (I know I do and that is ok :D)
 
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laural98

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Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Wales
I have recently been started on medication and I thought it was helping until I had a bad attack tonight. Has your experience with medication overall been positive if you don’t mind me asking?
 
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Tryingmybest76

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
I don't mind at all.

It has had it's up and down's. I still melted down pretty bad tonight. But I seem to be able to get through it better. For the most part I think it is going really well. I definitely had to cut back/greatly reduce coffee too. Still have just super early so I can get good rest at night.
 
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laural98

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2021
Messages
294
Location
Wales
It’s all about balance isn’t it and trying what’s best for you. It’s rubbish that you have to cut back or stop something that you like. Im finding sleeping at the moment quite hard. Even though im exhausted from feeling the way I do during the day.
 
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Tryingmybest76

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2021
Messages
55
Location
14607
I can still have it just really early in the morning. I love coffee too much. It was personal choice as I also just want to feel better and not so much anxiety. I know what that is like, anxiety can be rough on a regular sleep routine. Just lay awake at times even when the coffee is long out of my system. It can do a number (lack of sleep)
 
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