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New here - friend of voice hearer

O

octmac

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2009
Messages
2
Hi everyone,

I am in a relationship with a person who has hear voices since he was a child about 10 or so, He is now 30. From everything that I have read, it seems that the majority of voices are either from the past or a completely new identity. Unfortunately my friend tends to hear the voice of whomever he is close to – the voice is never nice – always degrading, insulting….needless to say this puts quite a strain on any relationship.

When he finally told me what was happening – after about 6 months of behavior that I could not for the life of me figure out “what did you say” as I had food in my mouth…
I looked up on the internet all that I could find regarding voices – there is a support group in our town ( of all places) but he refuses to attend – so I have tried to accept that he is actually hearing my voice, I have tried to reason with him “ I am not even in the same room, how could I be whispering in your ear?”

He self medicates by drinking – claiming it is the only way he can cope. It use to happen every 3 or 4 months – he would completely blow up at me – claiming all sorts of things, breaking walls….never really violent to me – just the walls between us. I usually can see it coming on and tried to disappear for a day or so. We both are artists and have separate studios in an old mill building turned art building.
Last Friday, after a fairly pleasant evening, we were walking home and he was at least 60 ft in front of me – he turned and said “ I hear what you said, you said you think that I am useless” I just stopped and told him I didn’t say a word that I am at least 50 feet behind him so how could he hear that? He rushed at me, grabbed me by the throat and threaten to snap it if I didn’t stop. I kept my cool ( as best I could) and told him to either snap my damn neck or let it go – one or the other because I am tired of this shit” he let go, walked about 100 yards away and yelled that he hated me, I needed to stay away from him and to move out of the building – when I told him I wasn’t going to move anywhere – he rushed at me again, grabbing me by my throat – I finally broke down and started crying – he let go told me to “stop the shit”and walked away. I called a cab and went to a friends house instead of chancing going inside to my studio.

I haven’t seen or hear from him since. I have avoided going into the building.

I’ve since learned that the following morning he was clearly upset about something, and started to talk to the building manager, saying that we had a fight and I left in the middle of the night!
UGH – I have no idea what to do – besides the whole being in the same building, which I refuse to give up ( artist studios are not easily found and are rarely as cheap as this one is – besides why should I be the one who has to leave?)
I want to help him, I care for him so much – I also don’t want to end up floating face down in the canals. I don’t know if anyone out there can give me words of advice or something. Is this something that will continue to evolve to a even more violent state? We have a friend who is bi-polar and the doctors are using him like a guinea pig – So trying to get him to go see someone is useless – he just points out how our friend is doing ( terrible, way too many drugs trying to do different things) so he has an honest out – I would not want to end up like that – but what else can we ( I ) do? I don’t want to call the police on him – but having someone threaten to snap your neck is really scary – even more so if it is someone that you love.
 
parker

parker

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
278
Location
Oregon
He Obviously can't control the voices (whats going on in his head) He falls into the important check list:(

1. Is he harm to himself?

2. Could he harm someone else?

I'd say lose this shithead! Take the lump and move away!!!!!!!
I know you don't want to give up the studio, but leave it! I've seen bad things come from situations like this.

parker
 
O

octmac

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2009
Messages
2
Thanks Parker - you are echoing what everyone else is telling me to do.
He once said that out of all the time this has been happening to him, I am the worst - I never shut up. ( in person that is also true:D

It is weird - he can actually tell if I am in the building - even without seeing or hearing my car arrive, I can even be on a different floor and he will text me to say " hi or stop by when you are finished with whatever" . A friend says that people with this type of psychosis seem to have a higher level of senses then most - maybe I need to shower more :)

Anyway, thank you for your imput - I still have a few days to figure out if I am moving or not - I am hoping that moving to the lower floor will help - right now our studios are next to each other, which is a little bit too close for comfort at this point.
 
J

johnny berg

Member
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
10
Your safety is a priority. I have had friends and family contact the local authorities and they have delivered me to the hospital for help when I relapse and cannot help myself. This has turned to my benefit as the local judiciary have gotten to know me and I believe they care for they try to get me back on my meds when in crisis. I have never threatened another or been violent, though. Locally, our police are in training on how to deal with us when we are sick. Your friend needs some help and it would not hurt for you to talk to a local judge about this for advise.
 
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