New here. First forum

K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#1
New to this , first time ive joined a forum. Hoping to be able to open up and realise that im not alone in how i feel , that other people understand because in my life thats not the case . No idea where to start...
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#2
Hi there and :welcome:to the forum :) Where to start, start with what is either bothering you the most or what is setting you back the most, or perhaps just a quick introduction. The choice is yours, the when is when you are comfortable :)
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
33,076
Location
8,539
#4
Hi :welcome: kezza

This page has some info if you've not used forums before > Click

Have a look around :)
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#6
I keep writing what i want to say and then deleting it as feel silly !! Its so hard to explain how i feel. Maybe i will have a read about first and get more comfortable
 
C

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
201
Location
Uk
#7
Honestly, theres no need to feel silly. We wont judge. I hope you feel more comfortable to post once you have had a little browse.
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#8
Having a good look round etc. sounds like the right thing to do ;) don't worry about sounding silly, we all do that, and seriously no one knows your true identity and no one here is likely to judge you either :)
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#9
Thats why i thought this would be good for me and why i joined .. actually being able to speak to people who have been through similar situations and understand how you feel and seeing how other people feel and how much support and advice there is . Its just hard knowing where to start
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
33,076
Location
8,539
#10
I keep writing what i want to say and then deleting it as feel silly !! Its so hard to explain how i feel. Maybe i will have a read about first and get more comfortable
Ah, don't worry about it, there's no rush, and generally no easy answer to a lot of things!

Some write huge posts when new, as getting everything off their chest in one. You could try that, everyone is anonymous in here anyway, so perhaps it might help? :)

If you feel silly, then I'd listen to that, and get more comfortable with the site first.

The chill out section is a good way to get used to the site, and meet other members :)
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#11
When you are ready I am sure you will think of something :)
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#13
Lol, you make it sound like we are doing you a favour ;) Just relax and be yourself :)
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#14
Its just so hard to be myself cause i havent been for so so long now and ive went from being at the lowest and hardest point in my life to actually finally getting to a better place and thinking i was coping , who was i kidding!! Can see how bad im getting again and cant control it , the difference in my life now and what makes me realise how far ive come is that i can accept and admit that im not ok , that im struggling , that i cant cope and thats ok? Its ok to not be ok . I think thats the first and most important step .. for me personally it has been . So now its finding ways to cope and how to deal with how i feel and opening up here could help?
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#15
WOW, great post (y):clap::respect: and wasn't you yourself throughout ;) Yes it is okay not to be okay, and exactly who is perfect anyway? I'd imagine perfect to possibly be quite boring :p The fact you can accept and identity things aren't quite right is HUGE :) In my opinion next is understanding what isn't quite right and then set about finding ways of tackling and beating it, which may well mean a trip to the Doctors etc. :)
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#16
Done all the doctors, counselling, medication for years and gave up with everything eventually as it only helps for so long but the problems and feelings are still always there . Have asked the question so many times am i always going to be like this? Will i always feel like this? Answer is yes i think as its not as easy as thats the problem this is how to fix it and thats it. Doesnt work like that. Just so exhausted and not sure how to move forward feel like ive tried everything i can ?
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#17
Its a hard one. Have come so far and got to a place in my life i didnt think i ever would as i thought how i felt before that i would never not feel like that or ever get over it and i have.. i dont self harm anymore , im not in hospital anymore, im not on medication anymore and i have done and am doing things i never thought i would. But im now feeling like i just cant do it anymore i cant keep up this whole doing ok and thinking / pretending that i am ok cause i know im not have i ever been has it all been a lie? Have i been pretending the whole time ? Dont know how to not think like this
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#18
One way of looking at things in my opinion is sometimes a problem is only a problem if someone thinks it's a problem. If you aren't happy with something (for example a label), you may well become fixated with that label, to the point of possible natural mood changes being associated with that label, which in turn could possibly blow things out of proportion. Then everything can in turn possibly become about the label, rather than the underlying issues...
A problem could I guess be described as something which is detrimental to yourself or others or both. If the problem is only someone's perception of something it is after all only perception. What does everybody else think?
 
K

kezzaM

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Location
UK
#19
Thats exactly it!! Youve explained it good . And i know that's how it is but cant control it , i cant stop the thoughts and the over thinking . What im worrying about its not that thats the problem i know its the underlying issues it always comes back to that , why i feel like this in tbe first place but i cant change that .. i cant change what happened and dont know how to stop it from making me think the way i do thats why i think theres nothing else i can do or anyone else can do ? Probably doesnt make sense
 
O

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#20
It can be just perception... in my opinion it can come down to going through those mis-conceived events with someone who can shed new light, a different view point, which hey presto changes someone's perception. Then what was a problem is no longer a problem and progress can be made...
 

Similar threads