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New here & ashamed



New member
Jun 20, 2012
New York, New York
How do you expect for them act? What you may see as bullying from them is just an expression of their anger most likely. I'm sorry my post is not quite as supportive as others but I'm really just trying to point out their side of the situation. No, we don't know what was said, but from the way it obviously is bothering you it must have been bad. Just remember that things will not be the same as they were. Maybe they are just trying to move on as well and that means not including you. I'm sure it will work out for all of you in time.


BUt sometimes it's not as easy as forget what was said, though obviously we don't know what was said. I do agree, they need to stop treating you the way they are. Unfortunately, being a female, and having worked with predominantly females before, I know how bitchy we can be. I try not to partake myself, because it solves nothing, just makes the working environment uncomfortable to work in, as you're finding out.


I have generally worked in predominantly female environments due to the type of organisations ie in the care sector. One I worked in I found was fine. Most of the women were older and in general were pretty friendly with each other. There was the odd bit of bitchiness but it was often soon forgotten. ALso there might have been less of this because everyone's job was very separate and no one was competing with each other.

The last job I worked in was an absolute bloody nightmare. There was a male boss. Me and another bloke, we both had mental health problems. And varying times between about eight or nine women. Most were fairly young, although two or three were older. I joined this organisation as the second employee at the start. The boss had sole control of recruitment and has never made any secret that he prefered employing people with no experience. But throughout his motives were very clear. He flirted with all of them. His relationship was a problem because when it split up he didn't keep his eye on the business. I tried to get my point across, but I was never thought important even though I was one of the harder workers. It was common knowledge that he slept with one, she told someone else and she told everyone. I knew he tried it on with others. ALthough I didn't find out until later on from my6 friend that he had tried it on with her,n she rejected him and he had also slept with another one. It was impossible not to know what went on, some of the girls boasted that they knew how to play him and I knew what wages they were all on and several were just going on facebook all day and were being paid more than others who were given an unfair proportion of the work. A lot of this crap went on because it was a more competitive environment and the boss was a total plonker. Problem was also that we all regularly socialised.

I learnt so much from that place. It was impossible not to know most of what was going on, but hopefully when I do work again I won't socialise with work colleagues. I would keep myself to myself. And not delve into others private lives too deeply. And just go there to do my job. I will be civil and friendly but if anyone wants to tell me about a problem with so and so, I will say sorry I don't really want to know. I admit that was the ultimate extreme and I have no idea how that company has survived. I had counselling afterwards and the lady I saw helped realise how I will approach work situations in the future.