New here, and triggered.

[Ally L]

Hi everyone.

My name is Ally and I'm posting here looking for a little reassurance/comforting advice. I've been dealing with (mostly untreated) C-PTSD for over 5 years along with other mental health issues, and it's been an ongoing process for me with lots of ups and downs, and unfortunately not a lot of therapy as it's not been an option right now.

I'm looking for some advice as today I ended up seeing a photo of a person who was very connected with that time in my life and it triggered me horribly, setting off feelings and emotions I can't control or get rid of. It upset me so badly that it triggered my OCD on top of it ( I deal with what I call PTSD-related OCD, too - feeling like if I do something that at all connects to that event, it will either happen again/undo everything I've worked so hard to fix, or send me back to that place, if that makes any sense) and I feel like everything is going to go bad again. I know it's irrational (and probably stupid), but I can't help it and I'm panicking. I've worked so hard to get myself to a better place and while life isn't ever perfect, I'm scared of losing it all. Has anyone felt this way, and if so, what did you do? And did whatever you were afraid of, actually happen? I've done a bit of DBT work in the past and keep trying to use the skills and remind myself that what I'm feeling is not real, and it's not the same circumstances and therefor doesn't mean anything, but it's not that easy as most of you probably know.

Anyway, thank you for reading. It's nice to have a place to not feel judged.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

Anyway, thank you for reading. It's nice to have a place to not feel judged.

why do you think ur not judged here? some of us are even more judgmental then average lol

what if i judge you as being more wonderful then you really are. then you have to try to live up to that high standard lol

lots of people chase fame and then regret it once they get it. because everyone has them up on a pedastal and they loose the ability to connect emotionally to poeple. so they spend the rest of their life hiding in their mansion. all because they got judged as being better then they really are.

if we have mental illness we usually get judged as inferior. then we cant get real love anymore only fake sympathy. so we might get nervous about this happening. then that nervousness shows up as OCD which just compounds the issue

 

[anex]

Hi everyone.

My name is Ally and I'm posting here looking for a little reassurance/comforting advice. I've been dealing with (mostly untreated) C-PTSD for over 5 years along with other mental health issues, and it's been an ongoing process for me with lots of ups and downs, and unfortunately not a lot of therapy as it's not been an option right now.

I'm looking for some advice as today I ended up seeing a photo of a person who was very connected with that time in my life and it triggered me horribly, setting off feelings and emotions I can't control or get rid of. It upset me so badly that it triggered my OCD on top of it ( I deal with what I call PTSD-related OCD, too - feeling like if I do something that at all connects to that event, it will either happen again/undo everything I've worked so hard to fix, or send me back to that place, if that makes any sense) and I feel like everything is going to go bad again. I know it's irrational (and probably stupid), but I can't help it and I'm panicking. I've worked so hard to get myself to a better place and while life isn't ever perfect, I'm scared of losing it all. Has anyone felt this way, and if so, what did you do? And did whatever you were afraid of, actually happen? I've done a bit of DBT work in the past and keep trying to use the skills and remind myself that what I'm feeling is not real, and it's not the same circumstances and therefor doesn't mean anything, but it's not that easy as most of you probably know.

Anyway, thank you for reading. It's nice to have a place to not feel judged.

Hi, Ally! So you’re looking for some advice because seeing a photo of someone from your past triggered you, as well as the OCD? And you’re afraid you’re going to lose all the progress you made? That sounds really frightening. I don’t know what it’s like to experience OCD, but I know how it feels to feel like you’ve lost all your progress. At the end of 2019, my mental health really declined after something very triggering happened. Well, three triggering things in succession. 2020 I unraveled. I feel like I’m right back where I was when I was 17-21, but in new (and old) ways. I feel like I’ve lost my progress. But I know that I actually haven’t. This is good. This had to happen. I’m being given a chance to really, truly try and heal myself. Though it feels like everything sucks so much a lot of the time and I have suicidal thoughts, I know this is good for me to be here. I’m facing what I couldn’t before. I’m noticing so many things I never did before. All this to say...I don’t think you have lost progress. I think you may have the opportunity here to gain progress. Each time we have a flashback is a chance to help ourselves get regulated. Each time we are triggered, we have an opportunity to speak to our inner child or whatever part is reacting. To love that part. To validate it. To soothe it. Each time we are feeling worthless or shameful is a chance to tell ourselves that we are NOT.

Anyway, again, I don’t think you’ve lost progress. I think this means there is more that is being uncovered for you to see so that you can get help.
Be there for you. All parts of you. As best as you can. That’s my advice, as much as I could give in this moment. I hope it was helpful in some way. You’ve got this