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new here and looking to talk

P

pennerak

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
6
Location
Ontario, Canada
Hi everybody,

I'm just a newbie to this site, still trying to figure things out on here.

I'm a 26 yr old female who was recently diagnosed with BPD. Ive had depression all my life but things have been getting a lot worse the last couple of years. I'm in a long term relationship but things flare up when I have a bad day or am triggered. The last bad episode I had resulted in a cast on my hand.

I'm still learning all my triggers and symptoms but it gets overwhelming. I find it so hard to make friends as well so I dont often talk about things I need to.

Can other people relate to this? Any advice? Talkers? Thank you everyone in advance..
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
hello and welcome to the forums :welcome:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forums.
I was labelled with BPD about 5 years ago, but now don't relate to the diagnosis much because I feel like i've done a bit of work and see things very differently to how I did before.
I do know what it's like to go through all of the 'borderline' craziness though.
Am sorry to hear about your last bad episode - sounds very painful. :hug1:
 
R

randompug

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2014
Messages
11
Hey and welcome!

I'm new here too. I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger and most recently been to see a therapist to talk things out. But I just wanted to say I completely agree with the whole struggle to make friends thing. I sometimes feel I say the wrong thing or don't pick up on the signals. But I have found that talking about it helps, whether to a friend or for me, it was coming on here and just finding that others feel the same. Don't think that helped really haha but you're not alone in your feelings!
 
K

KTVsix

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2014
Messages
3
Location
Sheffield
Hi I've just registered with the site, I feel like that about making friends, it's always been that way and got to me, I think more than ever recently, I feel I can get over friendly unintentionally, or if it's a male I can't tell if they think I want to be more than friends and I don't, my relationship is suffering in the same way past ones have, I can't decide if I love this person or if they irritate me too much, which makes me feel awful as rationally I know how lucky I am. I feel quite lost as I have been trying to see someone who understands- not to sound like a stereotype but none of the therapists/Dr's I have seen - do at all. Sorry to blurt all this out, it's just so rare to find ppl being open and it sounding exactly how I feel...
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum KTVsix.
Don't apologise at all! I don't feel you're blurting things out, you're just sharing how you're feeling and there's nothing wrong with that.
Am glad you're finding it helpful to see that there are plenty of people here who understand how you feel. :hug1:
 
R

randompug

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2014
Messages
11
Totally agree. I go through phases of wanting to stand up to my friends and say actually why should I be not want to hang out with my friends? Why am I such a burden to you that you don't want to meet up at the weekend to go shopping? And then others I go into a downward spiral and come up with reasons why I'm not good enough for them. Ditto on relationships as well. Glad it's not just me.
 
K

KTVsix

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2014
Messages
3
Location
Sheffield
Thank you, and yes! I have managed to keep a bit more control, and learned a lot, if there's anything useful to others I'd be happy to share or just listen :) x
 
K

KTVsix

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2014
Messages
3
Location
Sheffield
Yes sometimes it feels I'm able to work with the feelings and feel chuffed with myself, then others like you say it's so easy to talk yourself out of people actually likeing you and hate yourself too then...when that happens it feels like a huge step back, or like I've been so stupid to think I could have that group of friends for example.. Sometimes I have been right and others it's appeared it's in my head then I get confused as to what is in my head and not..haha.. Not found an answer yet.. :)
 
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