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New diagnosis, fits, but it seems like an ending

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plosion

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2015
Messages
1
Hi all,

I've been bouncing around the mental health system for the past year, now they say I have BPD. It fits, explains a few things, but really it just feels like I am being told that I am never going to have the life I wanted.

I've read a couple of books, they seem mostly aimed at helping friends and family "deal with" their BPD loved ones. I don't want to have to be dealt with. I want to be ok on my own and never have to explain to a partner that they have picked a squeaky wheel. I always knew something was wrong with me, so kids were already out of the question, but now I can't even make new friends or date new people. Now I know that I am always going to be an emotional mess.

To add further insult to injury, everyone keeps harping on at me about making a decision to get better. I make that decision ALL THE TIME. It's just that then I make another decision 5 minutes later. I guess that is related to impulse control, but I can't get treatment until I convince some idiot shrink that I have "made the decision". Which seems like a bit of a paradox since I don't know how to.

I'm posting here as I hope that someone has a better story to share, because right now everything is looking bleak.

Thanks.
 
catkin

catkin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
5,170
Location
in a bit of a ravel
Welcome here x. Getting the diagnosis is hard, a lot to process. Give yourself time to let it settle. BPD is shit, but it is only a label, you are you no matter what the label. The diagnosis doesn't need to define you xx
 
M

Meredithmay

Guest
Hi Plosion,

It is sad that you feel like your life has come to an abrupt end following the BPD diagnosis. There is often much stigma surrounding this diagnosis which is really unfair and serves no purpose except to silence the sufferer. There is also a tendency to label women with "disorders" that stem from the intolerability of the situations that they find themselves in and that it is patriarchal psychiatric attitudes that shape such normal reactions into pathology.

I am not sure how your mental health is affected but with the right support and therapy people do go on to lead fulfilling lives, having children, holding down successful careers and relationships. Don't give up hope and seek out the right treatment which will enable you to go forward.

Very best wishes, Mm
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
14,164
Location
UK
:welcome: Plosion

Getting this diagnosis is tough. I hope in time it won't feel like an ending, or that things will always be an emotional mess. I hope you stick around, there are a lot of supportive people here, with helpful experience, who have been through the same thing as well. Good to have you here :peace:
 
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