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Blanketgirl

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2021
Messages
3
Location
England
Hi all,

I'm new here and I guess I've joined in the hope of feeling less isolated. I've struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorder and depression in the past. I've had medication and a few rounds of counselling in the past, otherwise I try and get on with it in my own way. I've been suffering a lot over the past few months to the point where I had to go back to my GP and ask for help.

I had Covid in July and the whole experience of isolating/being hounded with calls/feeling like I was being interrogated left me numb. I know people were just doing their jobs but I was genuinely quite unwell and needed the rest. I cried and panicked most days. Since then my health anxiety has been off the scale, I went on a trip in August and fainted in a venue. This isn't like me, I've passed out a few times in my lifetime but usually due to being unwell. The GP put it down to long Covid, I had an ECG and oxygen test and these were okay, so they suggested I try medication for my ongoing anxiety/low mood, on the off chance this was playing a part in my physical symptoms (tiredness, weakness, chest pain, panic etc.).

I was on Sertraline for three days and it was horrific, I had some really nasty side effects and my anxiety was on a new level. On the second day I had an awful 'episode' whilst driving to work, in which an odd feeling just came over me, I was panicky, hot, woozy and my stomach felt like I was on a rollercoaster. These feelings reminded me of when I fainted a few weeks before and so, two and two together, I made the connection that I was going to pass out whilst driving. Unfortunately I was on a fast road, so had to literally shout at myself, out loud, with the window open, to calm down, and come of the slip road, it worked to a point and I made it into work, but this was the beginning of some weird driving anxiety that is sadly still affecting me. I've not yet been back to work as I've been signed off with anxiety. The days following I had palpitations just leaving my house. I had to go lie down and do breathing exercises. I went to the pharmacy for a prescription and could feel my legs buckling when I was in the queue. It was an awful feeling. Anyway, I switched to Fluoxetine and only took them for four days, as again I couldn't deal with the side effects, I had a panic attack on a train and felt dizzy and exhausted, to the point of wanting to be sick or fall asleep and my skin felt itchy. My GP said I wasn't tolerating them and to come off.

I've slowly got a little stronger (weeks ago even sitting in the car as a passenger made me feel like I had motion sickness and just really scared for no reason. The only way I got through a long-ish journey was telling myself if I needed to get out I can jump out of the car when we're stuck in traffic and run into the forest at the side of the motorway... I know), I am now able to go out and about, am doing 'Headspace' meditation each day, and am making sure I get some form of exercise each day. I've given up caffeine and I rarely drink now anyway. However, the feelings of panic, sickness and the dizzy/heavy head sensation are still there. It's two and a half weeks since I stopped the medication and I feel bad most days. I'm scared I won't feel better. I regret starting them as I could at last function and go to work and be in busy places etc., now all of those things are challenging. I'm due back at work at the end of next week and the thought of going/driving/my workload is making my head spin.

I signed up for counselling but, due to waiting lists, I've been told it could be up to a year. I am constantly Googling (I know, worst idea...) to see if anyone else has experienced similar, really just to give me some peace of mind so I know I won't feel like this forever, because it's terrifying me. The last few days I've tried to power through, I've done some small drives to build up my confidence, but I find myself analysing every possible feeling I have, expecting to be ill, and I know I'm anxious about being anxious, and I hate that I'm doing it to myself because I can see the cycle but it's so hard to break it. I've just been out for a longer drive and had that awful twisting stomach/heart in mouth feeling. I got home okay but it's left me feeling tearful and drained. I feel totally stuck. I have people around me but no one understands as they haven't experienced it. I feel like I'm annoying everyone as a lot of the advice I seem to get is to get on with it (which is the worst thing to say/hear).

Anyway, sorry for the huge introductory message/rant! I hope everyone has a good afternoon xx
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,794
Location
Pretty Good
Hello Blanketgirl, welcome to the forum you will find everyone here very helpful and so very caring as we all try to help each other. I have depression anxiety ED and sometimes panic attacks and other mental health issues.
 
B

Blanketgirl

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2021
Messages
3
Location
England
Hello Blanketgirl, welcome to the forum you will find everyone here very helpful and so very caring as we all try to help each other. I have depression anxiety ED and sometimes panic attacks and other mental health issues.
Thank you :)
 
M

morty2

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,544
Location
kent
Welcome..i hope you find comfort and support on here. Everyones lovely..Welcome!!!!:):)
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,786
Location
United Kingdom
Welcome 🙏 seeing a therapist is a good idea to try and get over your fears. Unfortunately the waiting lists are so long at the moment which is so very sad for you. Could you afford to go private if possible. I do wish you well and keep posting
 
B

Blanketgirl

New member
Joined
Oct 11, 2021
Messages
3
Location
England
Welcome 🙏 seeing a therapist is a good idea to try and get over your fears. Unfortunately the waiting lists are so long at the moment which is so very sad for you. Could you afford to go private if possible. I do wish you well and keep posting
Hi Jolly, yes I am looking into going private, it will be expensive but I've got to remind myself it is for my health and it is worth paying rather than waiting. Hopefully this helps as I don't want to go on medication again. x
 
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