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New - BPD, Anger/Depression

S

sadsad

Member
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Lompoc
Hello Everybody.
I have a history of BPD. I have been managing successfully now for 2+ years. I stopped taking medicine for it when I got pregnant. Now I am doing all I can to stay off the medicine. But my husband has been abusing alcohol behind my back. This causes friction for us, of course. He insists he's working on it and seems to resent my feelings of disapproval/disappointment over his secret habit. But the fact is, it does leave me feeling hurt and angry. I try to manage my feelings, but anger turned inward is depression, and I am not good at managing my depression. I erupt violently. Then the focus becomes on my BPD "episode" instead of the focus of abuse of alcohol and my trust. I feel very alone.

Anyone can relate?
 
Ghost_Owl

Ghost_Owl

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
May 13, 2017
Messages
1,300
Location
U.K
I personally can't relate. I hope you can find some support from others. Sometimes our mental health issues can be used against us as a deflective method. Especially when you are challenging their behaviour. I have certainly experienced that like being a convenient scapegoat. Does it feel like communication between you both is becoming strained? If so it may be worth looking into couples counseling for you both to have a space to express these difficulties and look at them in a safer place. Just my thoughts.

Welcome to the forum.
 
one light

one light

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 19, 2020
Messages
968
Location
England - Up North
Hi welcome here... I used to be on so much medication, and drinking several years ago - I researched self healing energy / power of the mind - zero tabs and alcohol now for me for several years, I feel strong 67 I am - good luck...
 
Z

ZechariahElijah

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
204
Location
United States
Welcome! This is a good place to share and find support. I hope you find it helpful!
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,698
Location
US
Hey, @sadsad. Yep. I have BPD, on meds forever, got pregnant, had to go off quickly. I went back on after I delivered my son. Can't seem to do without. As far as your husband goes, I can relate to the part about the focus turning onto your BPD rather than on the other person's issues that may be triggering the anger. My ex for the past 25 years lies a lot, then tells me he lies b/c of my reaction, puts it on me, even though I've worked hard to not have those strong reactions. It's as if they validate their own actions or sweep them under the rug and the focus is put back on you, the BPD. It's v frustrating, something I am finally telling him I've had enough of. He's working on it, keep hearing that he's going to "lie less" have yet to see the results. So yes, can relate. And if it's getting bad for you again, do you have a therapist you can speak with to try to help w some of the anger and depression?
 
F

Fanackerpan

Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2021
Messages
15
Location
SOUTHAMPTON
Out of curiosity, what meds are u taking as I've read over and over again that there are no medical interventions for BPD 😊 I'm just weaning off my anti depressants as they do nothing for me
 
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