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New And Worried!

Sea_Green

Sea_Green

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Joined
Feb 4, 2015
Messages
13
Location
North West England
Hi everyone,

Created my account a few days ago (after lurking for ages) and thought it was about time I actually posted something! I've had trouble with my emotions for years. Last time I went to the doctors they tried to persuade me to take antidepressants which I didn't want (by shouting at me) and I've been too afraid to go back since. I've just made an appointment at the doctors for tomorrow and I'm really worried. Luckily my boyfriend is coming with me so hopefully something positive might come out of it this time!

This seems like a lovely community and I hope I can contribute to it instead of just panicking and never posting again like I often do on forums :rolleyes: :doh:
 
W

Waverunner

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
2,194
Hi and :welcome: to the forum. It's very relaxed and people always interested in what you have to say. Good luck with your dr's appointment!
 
F

fairylulu

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Feb 25, 2015
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20
Location
fareham
Hello! Is there any reason why you don't want to take the antidepressants? I'm on them myself and I don't find them too bad there not a miracle cure but they give me the strength to get up in the morning xx
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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hi and :welcome:

sorry your doctor shouted at you, not very professional of them imo! If you're not keen on them they should at least listen to you and find out why or explain what taking them will do etc

are you going to see a different doctor? hope your appointment goes ok anyway x
 
Sea_Green

Sea_Green

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2015
Messages
13
Location
North West England
It's probably my fault the doctor shouted at me :redface:. Here's the story if anyone's interested (sorry it's long):

The first time I looked for help beyond counselling I tried signing on ESA because I read it was a benefit that helped you get better so you could return to work. They said I needed a sick note so I told the doctor "I need a sick note for ESA because I have depression" (I thought "depression" was just another word for "I feel really bad"). When I told her I'd tried counselling and it hadn't helped and turned down the tablets she must have thought I just wanted the money rather than to get better. She then told me that counselling and antidepressants was the only thing available and if I was willful enough to refuse them I must just be lazy and will feel fine as soon as I get a job. It was so frustrating because help to get a job was exactly what I was looking for but she'd essentially just told me there was none available. I can understand why she said that (I obviously didn't explain things very well) but I'm still angry she didn't listen instead of jumping to conclusions! I've moved since then and am now at a completely different surgery so it's not as scary as it might be.

As for the antidepressants, it's hard to describe but I keep setting rules for how things need to be and one of them is not taking drugs. I almost feel like I wouldn't be me anymore if I took them. I know it sounds silly but it's a massive thing in my head!

Anyway, thanks a lot for the warm welcome everyone! :) x
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Oct 21, 2014
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2,095
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UK
Hope your appointment goes well.

I have been shouted at by a doctor too. It just made me shut up and uncooperative. Stupid a-hole.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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It's probably my fault the doctor shouted at me :redface:.
No, it isn't:hug:

When I told her I'd tried counselling and it hadn't helped and turned down the tablets she must have thought I just wanted the money rather than to get better. She then told me that counselling and antidepressants was the only thing available and if I was willful enough to refuse them I must just be lazy and will feel fine as soon as I get a job.
She sounds well out of order :mad:

Counselling doesn't work for everyone, a lot depends on the type of therapy and the relationship with the therapist, and you are within your rights to turn down meds if you don't want them for whatever reason

I've moved since then and am now at a completely different surgery so it's not as scary as it might be.
Glad to hear it. Next time you go, if you have trouble explaining things might be an idea to write down brief notes beforehand. I know I often get muddled too.

As for the antidepressants, it's hard to describe but I keep setting rules for how things need to be and one of them is not taking drugs. I almost feel like I wouldn't be me anymore if I took them. I know it sounds silly but it's a massive thing in my head!
No it doesn't sound silly to me. I think if you've been depressed for a long time you can feel that is your personality. From what I understand though, meds don't change your personality just your ability to cope so that you can then sort through your issues with either therapy or other methods. I haven't taken them myself though.

But there are lots of reasons for not wanting to take antidepressants and it is your choice. I think maybe if you talk through some of your worries about them with the GP, do your research on them, and then make a decision, that might be helpful.
 
Palladian

Palladian

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Feb 26, 2015
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107
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Wales
Hi Hope your ok and everything.
 
Sea_Green

Sea_Green

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2015
Messages
13
Location
North West England
If I hadn't been so upset that's exactly how I would have reacted SarahD! Thanks Palladian. Think I will try writing down some notes Toasted Crumpet, and thanks for the hug :hug:.

This appointment went well. Started crying when I had to tell a short version of my previous doctor story above then got too chatty and couldn't stop apologising. Now all the stupid things I said keep popping back into my head and I feel like I'll never relax again; but I was expecting that. I'm also convinced that I lied and made it sound worse and want to go back and tell her I'm fine (often feel like I'm pretending or that it all happend to someone else; anyone else feel this way?). Boyfriend says that's not the case and everything I said was true so I'm trying not to worry about it.

She asked some general questions and did one of those "Have you lost interest in the past 2 weeks?" type questionnaires. She offered me antidepressants and I promised to think about it. She's also sending me for CBT even though I told her it made me worse last time (the jobcentre sent me and it was over the phone which was awful). Apparently they refer you on to someone else if they can't help though so hopefully something will come of it this time! She even asked me to come back in 2 weeks to "check up" on me, although I'm suspicious it's actually just to talk about tablets again.
:BLAH:
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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the jobcentre made you go for CBT, wtf. And over the phone!

no wonder it was not helpful. it sounds like they are doing the cheap quick fix thing here.

Proper CBT by an experienced therapist can help people so you might want to give that a try if it is available, but there are other sorts of therapy that can help such as interpersonal therapy

glad the appointment went better than the last one though, hope you will get some benefit out of face to face therapy.
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
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Over the phone CBT?

How on earth does that work?

I'm glad you are hopefully getting somewhere and hopefully you won't have to wait too long for face to face.
 
Sea_Green

Sea_Green

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2015
Messages
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Location
North West England
It was when I was on work related ESA. The "help" to get better and back into work I was hoping for turned out to be fortnightly meetings with a woman at the job centre to tell me that they would stop my benefits if I didn't get a job soon. She gave up with that after a few weeks of me pointing out that nobody would be on ESA if to claim it you have to be unable to work but it also gets stopped if you don't work! She sent me on a day course to learn how to get a job. "Write positive things on your CV". "Brush your teeth before an interview". Useful for some but a complete waste of time for someone who already knows what to do but can't always manage it. The tutor actually told me afterwards he could see how badly I had been coping and it was obvious that they shouldn't have sent me on an unsuitable course!

Then she gave me a self referral form for CBT. It was proper CBT and I could have done it face to face. At the initial interview a very charismatic man talked me into doing it on the computer and over the phone when he found out I have a huge problem with talking on the phone. So it was actually cCBT with a weekly phone call. I spent the whole 6 weeks worrying about the phone call and worrying about the fact that I hadn't been able to do the exercises because I was worrying so much. At the end the woman told me she thought I might be bipolar (because I told her I don't always feel bad) so CBT was likely an unsuitable treatment and refered me to something called "secondary services". Unfortunately I felt so bad by then I missed the appointment. Hopefully this time I'll make it to wherever they wanted to send me afterwards (or it'll just help in the first place) :)
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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It was when I was on work related ESA. The "help" to get better and back into work I was hoping for turned out to be fortnightly meetings with a woman at the job centre to tell me that they would stop my benefits if I didn't get a job soon. She gave up with that after a few weeks of me pointing out that nobody would be on ESA if to claim it you have to be unable to work but it also gets stopped if you don't work! She sent me on a day course to learn how to get a job. "Write positive things on your CV". "Brush your teeth before an interview". Useful for some but a complete waste of time for someone who already knows what to do but can't always manage it. The tutor actually told me afterwards he could see how badly I had been coping and it was obvious that they shouldn't have sent me on an unsuitable course!

Then she gave me a self referral form for CBT. It was proper CBT and I could have done it face to face. At the initial interview a very charismatic man talked me into doing it on the computer and over the phone when he found out I have a huge problem with talking on the phone. So it was actually cCBT with a weekly phone call. I spent the whole 6 weeks worrying about the phone call and worrying about the fact that I hadn't been able to do the exercises because I was worrying so much. At the end the woman told me she thought I might be bipolar (because I told her I don't always feel bad) so CBT was likely an unsuitable treatment and refered me to something called "secondary services". Unfortunately I felt so bad by then I missed the appointment. Hopefully this time I'll make it to wherever they wanted to send me afterwards (or it'll just help in the first place) :)
God that is awful! You couldn't make it up!:hug:

So sorry you have been treated this way, it is a ridiculous way to treat vulnerable people :mad:
 
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