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Dec 17, 2009
Hi all from Oregon. I am new to the forum but I need some advice. My husband and I have been together for 17 years and have 5 children ages 21,19,18,16,12. Recently we have been going through a lot of stress in the marriage, financial, step kid issues. To make this short we have been fighting for about 6 mos now non-stop. Well I realized this is not healthy for our children or us for that matter. So about 2 mos ago I asked for a separation. That night he took a gun and went to the beach and held the gun to his head, lucky our mutual friend found him and talked him out of it. Well last night I told him again that I wanted a separation. He got the gun and walked out of the door, I said whatever you wont do it, he then walked back into the house and stood in the kitchen and pointed the gun at his temple and said I will do it in front of you, if I cant have you then I don't want anyone. Well I screamed and woke up our 19 year old who got the gun away from him but in the meantime the other children woke up and saw it all happening. My 12 year old asked me what he did wrong and why daddy had a gun, I told him to ask his dad tomorrow. We sat and talked for about 2 hours then went to bed, of course I could not sleep. He basically said that I am his soul mate and he could not live without me. He is a police officer reserve and also a assistant fire chief. I want to go to the fire chief who is also my husbands best friend for help, but husband doesn't want me too. He is afraid that they will lock him up and we will have more financial problems or he will lose his assistant chief position. I need help and advice on what to do. I don't believe this is a manipulation problem, I am sure he will do it. I do love him and want our marriage to work but with all the stress I don't feel that we can truly deal with issues while living in the same house. PLEASE someone give me advice.


Dec 17, 2009
Guess this is not the right forum for me as no one responded. Thanks for the support.



well you do need outside help to deal with this. if you believe he is a risk to himself then what other choice have you got.

he needs to speak to a doctor. if he has depression or something like that it doesnt mean that he will lose his job because of it. also you could do counselling together to maybe work through the problems you are having, as love doesnt seem to be the issue for both of you. Talking it out in a controlled eviroment may help alot. all that can be done without involving his work or friends knowing.

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