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Never tried this before

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Captain deadpool

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Ohio
I have not tried this in the past and have been struggling with depression for about 26 years. I was recently getting much better and then found out my wife and only friend was talking to another man behind my back and planning a trip with him. When confronted with this she got angry that I found out and is lashing back. She is aware of my depression and just yesterday said she is not sure if she wants to work it out as I am too much of a burden on her with this. I feel lost and need to talk to someone anyone who will listen
 
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CreativeIntrovert

Active member
Joined
Oct 15, 2018
Messages
35
Hi Captain,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your wife and your depression. That sounds really difficult. I escaped an abusive relationship but by far the most painful thing he did was cheat on me so I know how terrible it feels.

It's a red flag that she was talking to him behind your back, another red flag that she was planning a trip and a big red flag that she got angry when confronted as that suggests guilt. It's also cruel that she is describing you as a burden when you have depression, that is not right at all.

Honestly I would reevaluate the whole relationship and decide if you actually want to continue being with her because it doesn't sound like she is treating you with love, respect and kindness. I also strongly recommend you read up on narcissistic personality disorder. I really recommend a series called Red Flags of the Narcissist, you'll start to get an idea of whether you think your wife fits the description or not after a few videos:
 
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Captain deadpool

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Ohio
I appreciate the response and I am reevaluating our marriage but I will say nothing like this has happened in the 16 years we have been together and it just came out of no where. It's difficult as I have no other friends than her and I am in my mid 40's making it difficult to meet new people.


She does fit the narcissists poem for sure when she gets called out on mistakes she has made and does have a problem admitting when she is wrong

I just feel horrible and am having problems sleeping and even eating, I have been to the doctor but right now I just need someplace to discuss all of this.

Thanks again for the response I appreciate it and it does help somewhat
 
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I love people

Active member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
30
Location
LEAMINGTON SPA
This exact thing happened to me with an ex. She got very angry when I found out then justified it by blaming me. Crazy. It was tough, then I met someone really caring. Your reactions are normal given the cruel treatment. I saw my GP and he gave me Citalopram which helped and sleeping tablets until the situation changed and then I was able to cope.
 
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