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Never thought I'd suffer Depression.

B

Bella-rose

Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2013
Messages
6
So, I never thought I'd be 'that girl' to suffer depression - never thought it would happen to me. I have always had highs and lows since childhood, but doesnt everyone? I really hit a low point when I came out of hospital earlier this year. I have been very unwell since I was about 11 and have been in and out of hospital, and it was only this summer that I was finally given a correct diagnosis. Unfortunately there is no quick fix for what I have and is something I am going to have to manage for the rest of my life. When I returned home from hospital back in February, I gave it a few months to start living my life again - and it was only when I did the simple task of going to town that I realised something was wrong, I came home and cried my eyes out. I felt scared and worried... I knew this wasnt normal. My Mum suggested that I may have been suffering anxiety, which I accepted and tried to deal with. Over time things just got worse and I started staying home, stopped socialising and really just stopped living. It was as if I was just existing. Things are now at there worst. Sometimes I think to myself should I even be here? what's the point? But I know that I have so much to live for! I've tried so hard to get over this but it's alot harder than people think. I wake up every morning feeling sad, and upset...I dont see the point in anything. I have no emotion towards anyone or for anything. I managed to complete the first year of my University degree course, but am now in the second year of deferral. I want to have hope but everytime I try, it's as if something is just pushing me back down. I am new to using forums, I just thought perhaps I'm not alone... maybe there are others out there who feel like I do. It'd be nice to talk to others who genuinely understand how I feel.
 
tritton

tritton

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
97
I understand exactly how you feel and its horrible , im 19 and depression and anxiety has ruined my life , to me it feels over already , the emotion thing i can relate to so much , it sounds like you have some support tho which is great , i dont think this will last long for you , just keep your head up and enjoy life x
 
B

Bella-rose

Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2013
Messages
6
Thank you for your reply. I do hope you're right, and I know how you feel when you say it feels over! I dont think some people realise how horrible depression can be - its far from feeling just low... and some people cant even believe that I suffer from anxiety & depression as Im only 22, but its comforting to know Im not the only one. I do hope things are on the up for yourself! x
 
tritton

tritton

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
97
Yeah people don't seem to realize what its like at all , especially the people around me... to them im just lazy and unsociable , coming on here has made me realize im not the only one , its not nice living with depression , i wouldn't wish this on anyone , it seems like you have people around you that will make this easier for you , just picture years from now you will look back and wonder how you where ever unhappy.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,752
Location
Europe
Whenever people say something is for the rest of your life I always get suspicious. I don't think anything is for the rest of your life unless you intentionally try to make it so. But depression is tricky, all I can say is don't stop looking for those things that enthuse you, or give up on the things that you used to enjoy. It can become a downwards spiral, or a trap that you're stuck in for a long time, but it doesn't have to be.

Hugs :hug1:
 
S

sparklekitty

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 5, 2013
Messages
174
You're not alone I'm the same 19 and currently struggling through my second year of university xxxxxx
 
B

Bella-rose

Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2013
Messages
6
It does comfort me to know Im not the only one but can I ask... how to you cope? how do you get through each day? I try to take each day as it comes but its just so hard right now. I dont even feel normal! Thank you for your replies xxx
 
V

voyager

Former member
You are certainly not alone and I can empathise with you. I heard once from some doctor that it is "the worst condition known to man!" depression. It is so cruel, I've had it in varying degrees for a long time! I suffer with social anxiety also, it's hard to know which came first. People who haven't suffered, don't know or can't understand it! My own husband even today, kind of denies it! There is no sympathy, I just wish those who poo poo it, could feel a day of depression and see how we feel.

I'm struggling at the moment with getting up in the mornings, that is when it's worse for me. I just want to stay in bed and block everything out. I actually feel ok at the moment, but nearly time for bed. The whole cycle just starts over again. I find I can't concentrate on things, it's getting worse! I'm 47.

Depression is like a nightmare, it makes us feel wretched. I forced myself to do household jobs today, but hated it. It's such an effort! I feel so alone even though my family is around me, they just don't get it! I know what you mean about not enjoying anything, it's like being behind a screen of glass or something. My husband drags me out, I say drag, on walks, I do feel better sometimes.

I'm not as bad as I was a few years ago, I didn't even know who I was, I still haven't worked out what this was about. I don't know whether this was more than depression.

It is extremely difficult, if you want to PM me about anything, I am here for you x:hug: xx
 
M

may98

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2013
Messages
95
Location
Scotland
Hi Bella-rose,

Depression is one of the worst conditions you can suffer. If people around you understand, that is helpful. If not then please seek help from your gp. Medication can help.

Voyager, I think you are my twin and separated at birth haha x
I too am 47, mg husband never understood my condition at all. But I have physical problems aswell. He left me six years ago. If it wasn't for my children, I wouldn't be here today.
Bella, how I wish I was your age again. Life was fun and care free. I worked hard. I had a full time job as well as a part time one. I was in the public eye daily. I wish I could be my 'old self' again.
I wish you well honey xx
 
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