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Never have had drive in my life help please...

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Johntron9999

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
my depression and anxiety started at age 18. been on antidepressants ever since than i am 33 now. the lexapro im taking has only helped a little. its really weird if i eat unhealthy foods my depression gets so bad and its bad now just imagine taking it down another level and the depression gets just brutal....im starting to think there could be an issue with "leaky gut" and possably bad foods are causing major depression and for the antidepressants to not even work right. other than that the other thing i wanted to bring up was i dont have proper drive and never have. as a kid i think i had ADD because i could not focus or learn properly at all in school. during recess or break playing outside i was fine, pretty social and no signs of depression or anxiety really. the other kids tho could focus and learn after recess like your suppose to. my mind would drift off thinking after school ill skateboard, ill play video games i want to go hangout with a friend etc etc. i would waste time in class and literally colour and pass the hours in school until i get home because learning literally was just to hard for me i was NOT lazy like others think i just couldnt for the life of me get my brain to be constructive. fast forward to this very day and i STILL dont understand and have the drive to be a normal member of society... ive had jobs and mainly just got them because thats what everyone says your suppose to do... bills to pay...i just stopped caring and now im on government assistance for money. and the troubling thing is that when i started antidepressants i actually felt great i felt interested in old hobbies and the negative thoughts were gone BUT i still would not work or get a job! i was just content playing video games, bike riding, having a few drinks, working on my car being a gear head. i would not say to myself hey i should get off welfare and try working. i shy away from that world. ive become some sort of drifter or "gypsey" or someone who just kinda gave up on the working world.... because its basically less stressful and less anxiety when im not around people or job interviews. i was thinking that there could be a dopamine issue in myself and alot of people! that chemical makes you want to move and work and do constructive things. ive had interests and hobbies but i did NOT EVER care about or even uunderstand why i was in highschool, did not care or think twice about going to college i just chose not to i didnt want to go. ive had jobs but honestly alot of them i just no called no showed. whatever makes you understand the bigger picture and get a job, pay taxes and be a normal memeber of soceity, than you can help others and your family whatever that chemical is its not working right in myself. please im trying to 180 the path im on now and honestly it seems like someone with my mentality should be on ritalon. which is a stimulant. please any ideas or is there a specific behavioral doctor i can talk to? would a physchiatrist lead me in the right path? or do they not know alot about ADD and no brain activity? i appreciate any input from you ty
 
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BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
Hi Johntron, sorry about the negatives you are feeling right now. I try to read through your post.

I think to help you we probably need to try to resolve your issues one by one though.

I guess what you want to improve the most would be to focus on your education, am I right?
 
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Johntron9999

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
Hi Johntron, sorry about the negatives you are feeling right now. I try to read through your post.

I think to help you we probably need to try to resolve your issues one by one though.

I guess what you want to improve the most would be to focus on your education, am I right?
I can't seem to bring myself to go to school or education my anxiety is to bad
 
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BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
I can't seem to bring myself to go to school or education my anxiety is to bad
Are you anxious about the future? Anxious about not being able to get your homework done? Or about not making friends in school?
 
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BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
Its not that simple it's anxiety and depression in general

I see , I guess it's a complicated issue , I went around online and found an article that might help you , well it might not but please take a look anyway ! I sent it through PM just in case links are not allow! :)
 
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