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Needing positive thoughts

J

Jmanpnw

New member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3
#1
About 7 months ago there was a wildfire and at the exact same time that I was evacuated from my house I got denied a promotion that I desperately needed. I don't actually remember when I started self harming, but it was bad, all around my feet. I started counseling and saw a psychiatrist and have started various medications. I went about 5 months without doing it and then a few weeks ago started again.

I was using the same implement, and always doing it at work. Last week I took it to my boss and told her what I was doing. I asked her to throw it away because I trusted her.

Now she's brought HR in and I've been placed on leave. Getting paid thankfully, but the official letter says they are investigating my behavior at work regarding my well being and fitness for duty.

I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my job and though I've never self harmed at home I want to so bad right now. I'm just so stressed and scared and panicky. I'm crying just as I write this. They want me to get help, but I don't know what they expect. I see a therapist and psychiatrist and I had a relapse.

I'm super worried and just needed a safe place to talk about it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
H

Helena1

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
9,746
Location
UK
#2
If you self harm at work they are probably thinking that the work is the cause of it, if you explain that is not the case then I don't think it will be an issue.
Does work know about the help you are already receiving?
Can you get a letter from your pdoc or therapist saying you are fit for work?
 
J

Jmanpnw

New member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3
#3
I'm working on it but at this point I don't think they'll let me come back until they complete their "investigation." A lot of it is related to me disliking my job though. I like the place I work okay, but the job itself drives my crazy. Very monotonous. They are at least paying me for now but my anxiety is through the roof. I'm in a union so I don't think they can fire me, but I'm scared they'll be able to say I'm unfit and get rid of me.
 
H

Helena1

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
9,746
Location
UK
#5
Well you don't need to tell then that if you want to keep the job for now. Have you spoken to a union person, they could help you find out if they can get rid of you. Like to me how would a HR person be able to access your mental state, seems to me they would not be qualified but I guess rules are different depending where you are from.